Maturity is a Choice

Where does maturity come from and how do we get it?

Years ago, I often sought older friends to associate with.  Then, I believed they had the experience, wisdom and maturity and I wanted to learn from.  What I found was just the opposite.

All of us could agree, you don’t have to look very hard to see immaturity.  Not just from kids but from adults of all ages.  Just watch how they act when things don’t go the way they think they should.  With the Presidential elections ramping up and the online social media outlets like Facebook, immaturity is apparent everywhere.

Every once in awhile I will meet a young person who proves to be very mature.  What they say and how they say it, how they carry themselves qualify them as someone who has it together.  They prove they are very mature for their age.

Meaningful, intelligent two-way conversations with them can be quite pleasant.  They don’t feel the need to prove themselves or act like they have all the answers.  You have to admit, there is an attraction to these types.

Dr. Mike Murdock probably said it best, “Grey hair doesn’t make you smart.”  How profound!  It’s also apparent that age does not make us wise nor does age equal maturity.  Our culture and society, however, have tried to make us believe otherwise.    

Age does equate to experience but experience alone does not always equal the previous traits mentioned.  So what do all of these things have in common?  Maturity!

To admit we were wrong takes maturity.  To realize we don’t have all the answers and the answers we do have, may not be the right ones, takes maturity.  To humble ones self and seek to do better takes maturity.  The reality is, maturity could be considered the doorway by which many other personal qualities follow.

Maturity comes from being humble.  Therefore, arrogance and maturity can rarely co-exist.  Expressing maturity is also showing others you don’t have a need to be right on every subject.  It’s allowing someone to be wrong with dignity.

Maturity can also be the opposite of selfishness.  We are willing to let others have their way, regardless of the outcome and how it affects us.

Maybe this is why we see so much immaturity everywhere.  In large, we have become a society of wanting things our way, when we want it, the way we want it.

The bigger thought is: what are we teaching our children?  Are we setting a healthy example of maturity for them?  Are we setting them up for a rewarding, peaceful life?  What about the way we treat our children?  Are we showing maturity when we communicate with them?  How about when we discipline?

Gaining this clarity on maturity has made a profound difference in my expectations about the young and old and why they act like they do.  It will for you too, once you embrace it.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Our Choices Equal Our Results

Most of us want different results than we have: more time, more money, weigh less...  Sure we want these things but how many of us are willing to make different choices to get them?

Lately, I have been hooked on the TV show Bar Rescue.  John Tafer, a veteran in the bar / night club industry, connects with bar owners who are on the edge of closing their doors due to a failing business.  Being in the industry for over 25 years, Tafer has seen the common denominators of a failing bar business.  

I am not a bar guy.  I rarely frequent them.  I have never owned one nor do I ever intend to.  Personally, I think they are a great place to throw your money away and waste precious time.

But I am intrigued how Tafer imposes on the bar owners and their staff, successful / healthy habits.  He is very stern when it comes to addressing the problems and destructive habits that have led to their failing business.  He is a no B.S. kind of guy who holds no punches.  Holding people accountable and changing their mindset to one of being proactive is the backbone to the whole program.

While I could do without the strong language (most of it is censored out) I have come to like the way accountability and responsibility change the entire nature of each business.  In return, rescuing it from failure.  In nearly every case, the owner of the failing establishment has come to a place of complacency and ignorance.  This is what Taft must change if he is to turn things around.

Just like the show, all of us can reach a place where we too become complacent.  In business, our jobs, relationships, even our marriages.  Most of us want things to be different, yet very few are willing to do what we must to produce a different outcome.  History has proven time and time again, wanting different results is simply not enough.

In the show, Taft tends to put people in very uncomfortable situations, holding them accountable.  It is here where people break from their habits and usually agree to change.  This sounds a lot like life, doesn't it?  Most of us do not change unless we are put into a position where we have to and even then, some still resist.  Yet change is the key to living a life full of the things we want.

It's change, not chance that brings us different results.  We can be in the right place at the right time and not even know it.  Daily habits are formed by choices, choices are formed by beliefs.  So chance has nothing to do with any of it. 

There is a great parallel between business, relationships, success and failure.  The common denominator for all of these, the one thing that makes or breaks how our life turns out and what it boils down to is choice.
Just as our choices can lead to disaster, so can our choices lead us to success.  Some choices lead to heartache while other choices lead to love and happiness.

Until we take responsibility for where we are, we will never be able to move to where we want to be.  This is one element Taft pushes hard in the show and it's not until the people accept this painful reality can they move forward.

Let go of your blame list!  Get past it and accept the facts.  You are where you are because of the choices you have made.  Once you can accept this, the chains that have bound you will be cut free and your life will explode into change.

I know because I have lived it.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.