With the New Year underway and moving forward, I think a lot of us are glad that 2010 is behind us. It was a tough year for a lot of people in many different ways. Jobs were being lost, finances became thin and marriages were strained like never before. Homes were lost and retirement accounts suffered. I watched people all around me deal with all of these and unfortunately, life was not always fun. I, too, had my own set of struggles to deal with.
One thing we all need to understand is if we are going to hope, pray and expect great things for 2011, we need to stop focusing on what was. Now I don’t want to be to harsh here and insensitive but we truly need to let 2010 be and stop dwelling on it. It is what it is and there is not one thing we can do to change it. If we could have changed it, we probably did to some degree and to the best we could. Continuing to live in the past is not and will not do any of us any good. The unfortunate events that took place, happened to many of us, not just a few. I think we need to realize: Yes, it happened…but it does not mean it will continue to happen nor does it mean it will happen all through 2011.
I have learned the hard way that what we focus our attention and thoughts on will lead us to where we get more of just that: what we focus on most. Rather than focusing on what you don’t want, start focusing on what you do want. Stop talking about what you don’t want and start talking about what you do want. I believe if you want a better year for you and your family in 2011, you have to start by speaking it. Say what you want over and over again. Let go of 2010 with your words and thoughts and start thinking and speaking of how much better you want this year to be. Do you want a better job? Start speaking it. Want your old income back? Start claiming it by verbalizing what it is you want, not what you don’t want. Like it or not, the glory days when everything came real easy (2006 – 2008) are not coming back, so let go of it and focus on a brand new 2011 which has not even been shaped yet.
Yes, I am well aware our economy is not real hot right now. Yes, I am well aware many people are still out of work and yes, I know the amount of homes being foreclosed on each month and it is all very unfortunate. None of these things do I ignore or pretend they are not a problem. I do know, though, there is very little I can do about any of it. So for this reason, I choose to not dwell on or waste my time trying to make them better. If I did, I would be greatly disappointed. The one thing you and I do have all the control over, is ourselves. How we spend our time, what we focus on and what we give our energy to is all in our control. Because I believe that 85% of what happens to us we have no control over and the remaining 15% we have all the control over, I believe it only makes sense to focus on the 15%.
Take what you have right now and do with it what you can. Regardless of what it is, take this first step. I believe there is something magical for those who use what they have, for where they are. God has an amazing way of filling in the gaps in our life when we are in need and when we step out in faith with the expectation of something greater. I say this not because it has just been told to me … but because I have seen it work first-hand in my own life.
Have a great 2011 everyone and be blessed.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Merry Christmas and a Thank You.
On the Christmas Eve 2010, I want to say thank you and wish you a warm Merry Christmas.
I have been so blessed by the responses I have received from many of you on how my weekly Friday messages have touched your lives. I truly enjoy and welcome the feed back and feel very fortunate to share the gift I have been given with you. I have always said that if we have a gift, but do not share it, then what good is it.
As we move into 2011, I will be working harder on myself as to how I can give to others and bless others with my gift. Sharing little secrets or tools to those who are looking for answers, is what I am passionate about. Every time I encourage and inspire someone to grow through life, I am refueled and energy seems to come my way. I love it!
Fridays Thoughts are now 2 years old and my commitment to you is that with each passing year, I will continue to grow and get better so that more and more people who want to, can make better choices and have healthier beliefs which in return will give them better results. I always try to write about things that matter. Stuff that all of us struggle with at some point and topics that hit us on different levels. Many times, I have had people email me about things that are difficult for them or losses they have endured and based on those emails and responses, I think I am on track with relating to most on some degree or another.
As you move into 2011, I truly wish great things for you. 2010 was a hard year for many of us as we all endured many challenges and struggles. As you and I move forward, we need to remind ourselves that 9 times out of 10, things will not change all by themselves. Instead, we (you and I) need to change and do things differently if we are to expect a different outcome. Do not leave it up to your spouse, or your boss, your job or even the marketplace to get a different result. It simply is not going to happen. If we are to get a different result …then we must do something different. This is my quote for me for 2011 and if you want to change some things in your life for the year ahead, I hope you will adopt this as your own.
From my family to yours, have a very Merry Christmas and be blessed.
I have been so blessed by the responses I have received from many of you on how my weekly Friday messages have touched your lives. I truly enjoy and welcome the feed back and feel very fortunate to share the gift I have been given with you. I have always said that if we have a gift, but do not share it, then what good is it.
As we move into 2011, I will be working harder on myself as to how I can give to others and bless others with my gift. Sharing little secrets or tools to those who are looking for answers, is what I am passionate about. Every time I encourage and inspire someone to grow through life, I am refueled and energy seems to come my way. I love it!
Fridays Thoughts are now 2 years old and my commitment to you is that with each passing year, I will continue to grow and get better so that more and more people who want to, can make better choices and have healthier beliefs which in return will give them better results. I always try to write about things that matter. Stuff that all of us struggle with at some point and topics that hit us on different levels. Many times, I have had people email me about things that are difficult for them or losses they have endured and based on those emails and responses, I think I am on track with relating to most on some degree or another.
As you move into 2011, I truly wish great things for you. 2010 was a hard year for many of us as we all endured many challenges and struggles. As you and I move forward, we need to remind ourselves that 9 times out of 10, things will not change all by themselves. Instead, we (you and I) need to change and do things differently if we are to expect a different outcome. Do not leave it up to your spouse, or your boss, your job or even the marketplace to get a different result. It simply is not going to happen. If we are to get a different result …then we must do something different. This is my quote for me for 2011 and if you want to change some things in your life for the year ahead, I hope you will adopt this as your own.
From my family to yours, have a very Merry Christmas and be blessed.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Give thanks to those who supported us on our journey
As I am approaching my 42nd birthday, there have been a handful of things that I have noticed about my life that I used to never give much thought to. Over the last fifteen years or so, I have come to gain a much deeper understanding of what life really is and what it is supposed to be about. I like to refer to it as, “the further you go, the more you can see and the more you can see, the further you want to go”.
But as I count my blessings and give thanks during this time of year, the one thing I am probably most thankful for and has made the biggest impact on me during this time is the people around me. Those who have supported me, encouraged me and those who have played a mentor / coaching role in my life. These are the people who have truly helped me to see my potential, lifted me up and helped to shape me into the person I am today. Yes, it has taken the interest of many over the years for me to become… well, me.
I have a mentor that is always telling me: Scott, any and all success will in fact require the collaboration and cooperation of other people. Had he told me this a few years ago, I am not sure I would have believed it, at least not to the extent I do today. This statement is so true. If you think about it for a moment, no matter what we are going to pursue, follow or go after, it will require the cooperation of others. No matter if you are starting a business, becoming a top salesperson, advancing at your job, chasing your dreams or even becoming a hermit. Yes, even if you want to go live in a cave away from everyone, it will still require the cooperation from others because they will have to agree to leave you alone.
Along my path of life, I have indeed had some very dynamic and gifted people enter in. What is equally important is that I have known it when they showed up. I can’t tell you how I just knew that I knew. I also have come to understand that most of the time these important people only stayed in my life for a season. A season upon which I needed them to help me get to the next level of my life. A few of them were so crucial that had they not shown up at that point in time, I know for a fact my life would have turned out to be very different from what it is today.
So, we need the collaboration of people, no matter where we are, to help us. They are usually the folks who have walked down the path of life before us and often, have the answers we seek. I want to encourage you that if you have or have had these folks in your life, those who have made a profound difference and have taken an interest in you, thank them. Not just with a “thank you”, but with a heart-felt message of what a difference they have made to you. I believe a sincere display of gratitude to those who have taken an interest in us, is the least we should do to give back to them.
Throughout time, great leaders, pastors, teachers, coaches and mentors have all come to be great because they too had someone or somebody’s who lifted them up and supported them. They simply could not have done it without the collaboration and cooperation of others. This week, make sure to give a heart-felt “thank you” to those who have supported you. Without them, who is to say how differently your life would have turned out and the blessings you have right now may have never shown up.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
But as I count my blessings and give thanks during this time of year, the one thing I am probably most thankful for and has made the biggest impact on me during this time is the people around me. Those who have supported me, encouraged me and those who have played a mentor / coaching role in my life. These are the people who have truly helped me to see my potential, lifted me up and helped to shape me into the person I am today. Yes, it has taken the interest of many over the years for me to become… well, me.
I have a mentor that is always telling me: Scott, any and all success will in fact require the collaboration and cooperation of other people. Had he told me this a few years ago, I am not sure I would have believed it, at least not to the extent I do today. This statement is so true. If you think about it for a moment, no matter what we are going to pursue, follow or go after, it will require the cooperation of others. No matter if you are starting a business, becoming a top salesperson, advancing at your job, chasing your dreams or even becoming a hermit. Yes, even if you want to go live in a cave away from everyone, it will still require the cooperation from others because they will have to agree to leave you alone.
Along my path of life, I have indeed had some very dynamic and gifted people enter in. What is equally important is that I have known it when they showed up. I can’t tell you how I just knew that I knew. I also have come to understand that most of the time these important people only stayed in my life for a season. A season upon which I needed them to help me get to the next level of my life. A few of them were so crucial that had they not shown up at that point in time, I know for a fact my life would have turned out to be very different from what it is today.
So, we need the collaboration of people, no matter where we are, to help us. They are usually the folks who have walked down the path of life before us and often, have the answers we seek. I want to encourage you that if you have or have had these folks in your life, those who have made a profound difference and have taken an interest in you, thank them. Not just with a “thank you”, but with a heart-felt message of what a difference they have made to you. I believe a sincere display of gratitude to those who have taken an interest in us, is the least we should do to give back to them.
Throughout time, great leaders, pastors, teachers, coaches and mentors have all come to be great because they too had someone or somebody’s who lifted them up and supported them. They simply could not have done it without the collaboration and cooperation of others. This week, make sure to give a heart-felt “thank you” to those who have supported you. Without them, who is to say how differently your life would have turned out and the blessings you have right now may have never shown up.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Admitting when you were wrong
For as long as I can remember, I have seen leaders and people in some type of authority position try to cover up for poor choices they have made. We have all seen this, right? The C.E.O. who claims he or she knew nothing about the embezzlement, or the Politician who says they never said this or that. Even locally we hear of someone trying to dodge the bullet of responsibility or to be held accountable for their actions. My guess is they do this all in the name of trying to retain their character or image. Granted, it is not everyone or everywhere, but when it happens, we hear about it.
I am far from the guy who goes around pointing the finger or talking about the latest scandal. To be frank about it, I have no interest in it whatsoever. People’s problems or situations are just that: they are their problems, not mine. What interests me about this is how and why people go to such great lengths to either justify their actions or claim their innocence. People have even gone on national television and pleaded with the country, only to hear later that they were, in fact, not being totally honest. It’s unfortunate and sad that this happens. I say this because I know first-hand making mistakes is part of being human. We all do it. At one time or another, every one of us have made a poor choice that resulted in a not-so- good ending. It may have been minor or very damaging, but along the way all of us have landed somewhere in between.
Remembering back to my days of Boy Scouts, I recall the scout masters and leaders teaching us what it was to not be just a good leader, but a great leader. Still, twenty five plus years later, I am reminded of those teachings and the experiences that came along with being in Boy Scouts. I was taught if you were a leader and made a wrong choice or a poor decision, admitting you were wrong and asking for forgiveness was the right thing to do. Not only was it the right thing, it was the only thing and to do anything but this was to be dishonest and a disgrace.
I don’t ever want to judge people for what they are accused of, it’s not my place. That is between them and God. I just can’t help but wonder, though, how different things would be if leaders everywhere simply admitted fault and asked for forgiveness when it deemed needed. From everything I can see, most people will forgive if they are asked to, providing they are asked from a humble heart and a place of brokenness. I know in my life I have been given much grace, over and over again, so when needed, I have much grace to give back. I think the majority of us feel the same way, we just want to know the motive to do so is sincere.
From what I can see, admitting we are wrong and asking for forgiveness from those whom we affected is far more admirable and honorable, as opposed to trying to pass the buck onto someone else. Cities, businesses and the communities where we live long to have leaders who are not necessarily perfect, but who are accountable and responsible for their actions. Many times I have made the wrong choice when I thought it was the right one, and many times I have found myself being humbled and asking for forgiveness. Leaders who can set aside their ego and do this, are far more likely to gain respect and gain people who will follow them, as opposed to justifying, denying or passing blame. It takes a level of maturity to do this and it makes a good leader, a great leader.
If you are in a leadership position, do not be afraid to admit you were wrong. Contrary to popular belief, it is ok to be wrong. You are never going to be right 100% of the time. The key here is to grow from being wrong and be able to take that experience and the emotion it gave you and not make the same mistake again. Living your life like this is what most would call “working your way to success.” It is learning from your mistakes and moving forward, making better choices the next time around.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
I am far from the guy who goes around pointing the finger or talking about the latest scandal. To be frank about it, I have no interest in it whatsoever. People’s problems or situations are just that: they are their problems, not mine. What interests me about this is how and why people go to such great lengths to either justify their actions or claim their innocence. People have even gone on national television and pleaded with the country, only to hear later that they were, in fact, not being totally honest. It’s unfortunate and sad that this happens. I say this because I know first-hand making mistakes is part of being human. We all do it. At one time or another, every one of us have made a poor choice that resulted in a not-so- good ending. It may have been minor or very damaging, but along the way all of us have landed somewhere in between.
Remembering back to my days of Boy Scouts, I recall the scout masters and leaders teaching us what it was to not be just a good leader, but a great leader. Still, twenty five plus years later, I am reminded of those teachings and the experiences that came along with being in Boy Scouts. I was taught if you were a leader and made a wrong choice or a poor decision, admitting you were wrong and asking for forgiveness was the right thing to do. Not only was it the right thing, it was the only thing and to do anything but this was to be dishonest and a disgrace.
I don’t ever want to judge people for what they are accused of, it’s not my place. That is between them and God. I just can’t help but wonder, though, how different things would be if leaders everywhere simply admitted fault and asked for forgiveness when it deemed needed. From everything I can see, most people will forgive if they are asked to, providing they are asked from a humble heart and a place of brokenness. I know in my life I have been given much grace, over and over again, so when needed, I have much grace to give back. I think the majority of us feel the same way, we just want to know the motive to do so is sincere.
From what I can see, admitting we are wrong and asking for forgiveness from those whom we affected is far more admirable and honorable, as opposed to trying to pass the buck onto someone else. Cities, businesses and the communities where we live long to have leaders who are not necessarily perfect, but who are accountable and responsible for their actions. Many times I have made the wrong choice when I thought it was the right one, and many times I have found myself being humbled and asking for forgiveness. Leaders who can set aside their ego and do this, are far more likely to gain respect and gain people who will follow them, as opposed to justifying, denying or passing blame. It takes a level of maturity to do this and it makes a good leader, a great leader.
If you are in a leadership position, do not be afraid to admit you were wrong. Contrary to popular belief, it is ok to be wrong. You are never going to be right 100% of the time. The key here is to grow from being wrong and be able to take that experience and the emotion it gave you and not make the same mistake again. Living your life like this is what most would call “working your way to success.” It is learning from your mistakes and moving forward, making better choices the next time around.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Are You Living Right For Your Type
Several months ago, I was fortunate enough to have been asked to be a regular guest on a weekly radio show. The focus of the radio show is centered toward creating awareness around personality types and styles in the work place, friendships, marriage and even within family. Every one of us has a dominant personality style and a secondary style that guides us and leads us in the way we communicate with others. During this time, I have learned a great deal about why it is that we respond and react to people the way we do. It has been extremely enlightening.
After a short amount of time and some education about the four personality types, I quickly learned a lot about myself. I learned why certain things were important to me and why I always put my relationships above most other things. Come to find out, you and I can learn a lot about who we are just from understanding what our own personality type is. Then, once we understand our self, understanding others and why they act, do and say what they say can really start to make a lot of sense. For me, the best thing I have taken away from learning this material has been to not take things so personally and I am 110% totally honest when I say it has literally been a paradigm shift within my way of thinking.
Although I have never been an avid follower of the personality styles, another thing that this material has taught me is that along with these styles come strengths and weaknesses that work better with certain types of jobs, careers or businesses. This information alone is why the name of the radio show is called: Living right for your type. The show really tries to bring to its listeners the tools a person needs to make the assessment in their own life if are they living right for their type. A common question that always seems to come up is: does my personality style compliment what I do professionally? This is a valid question that many of us should answer if we have not yet done so. When it came time for me to answer this, I can clearly see where several of the jobs I have had in the past were clearly not a good fit for my personality style.
To conclude, this is probably the main reason why I was so unhappy at those jobs too. Back then I had no concept of this information and I just thought that even if you didn’t like your job, you had to do it any way. I guess you could say I was not living right for my type and that alone gave me a tremendous amount of anger, anxiety and it was stealing my peace and joy.
Yes, I understand that at times in our life, we will need to do things that are not always fun and that there will be things we have to do that we won’t like. That is life, plain and simple. But in the big picture over the long haul, life will be far more enjoyable if we are living the right life style for our personality type. Trust me, I know this first hand, I have lived both ways and to live your life in a way that compliments who you are at the core, will be a life far more full of peace, joy and happiness. Plus, you will probably find that everything you do will work better, become easier and you are far more efficient at it as well. It just kind of makes sense doesn’t it? Why wouldn’t you want to live right for your type?
Interested in knowing a little more about personality styles and whether or not you are living right for your type? You can listen to the radio show via the internet at: www.blogtalkradio.com then type in the search bar: living right 4 your type. All shows are recorded and available to listen to at any time but we are live on the air Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from 11:00 am – 12:00 pm west coast time.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
After a short amount of time and some education about the four personality types, I quickly learned a lot about myself. I learned why certain things were important to me and why I always put my relationships above most other things. Come to find out, you and I can learn a lot about who we are just from understanding what our own personality type is. Then, once we understand our self, understanding others and why they act, do and say what they say can really start to make a lot of sense. For me, the best thing I have taken away from learning this material has been to not take things so personally and I am 110% totally honest when I say it has literally been a paradigm shift within my way of thinking.
Although I have never been an avid follower of the personality styles, another thing that this material has taught me is that along with these styles come strengths and weaknesses that work better with certain types of jobs, careers or businesses. This information alone is why the name of the radio show is called: Living right for your type. The show really tries to bring to its listeners the tools a person needs to make the assessment in their own life if are they living right for their type. A common question that always seems to come up is: does my personality style compliment what I do professionally? This is a valid question that many of us should answer if we have not yet done so. When it came time for me to answer this, I can clearly see where several of the jobs I have had in the past were clearly not a good fit for my personality style.
To conclude, this is probably the main reason why I was so unhappy at those jobs too. Back then I had no concept of this information and I just thought that even if you didn’t like your job, you had to do it any way. I guess you could say I was not living right for my type and that alone gave me a tremendous amount of anger, anxiety and it was stealing my peace and joy.
Yes, I understand that at times in our life, we will need to do things that are not always fun and that there will be things we have to do that we won’t like. That is life, plain and simple. But in the big picture over the long haul, life will be far more enjoyable if we are living the right life style for our personality type. Trust me, I know this first hand, I have lived both ways and to live your life in a way that compliments who you are at the core, will be a life far more full of peace, joy and happiness. Plus, you will probably find that everything you do will work better, become easier and you are far more efficient at it as well. It just kind of makes sense doesn’t it? Why wouldn’t you want to live right for your type?
Interested in knowing a little more about personality styles and whether or not you are living right for your type? You can listen to the radio show via the internet at: www.blogtalkradio.com then type in the search bar: living right 4 your type. All shows are recorded and available to listen to at any time but we are live on the air Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from 11:00 am – 12:00 pm west coast time.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Have an Attitude of Gratitude
Showing gratitude and giving thanks this time of year seems to be a common practice for many of us. With Thanksgiving just around the corner, it is the season to give thanks for the blessings in our life. I know that despite the many challenges I have had over the last year, I still have many things to be grateful for. Yes, the list of challenges has become lengthy but the list of reasons to be thankful still continues to be bigger, and always will.
Giving thanks to the people around us is an attitude. It is a way in which we choose to act and a way we choose to treat others. I say choice because I believe it is just that: our choice. I choose to be thankful that my kids are healthy and I have a warm, dry home for them to sleep in at night. I also choose to be thankful for having some really great friends in my life that I can laugh with, pray with and lean on when I need to. Although I do not necessarily welcome the struggles, I am thankful for them because without them, I would not be the person I am today, for it is those struggles that have molded me, stretched me and pushed me into who I am today. Yes, I am thankful for many things that I have been so fortunate to be a part of and experience in this life.
Something else that being thankful does, is that it has a reciprocating law attached to it which seems to always come back around. When we show gratitude towards someone, we are rewarded by the releasing of positive energy that will come back to us, sometimes in a way of blessed friendships and sometimes in a way of more peace and love in our own life. I have also seen situations where people are genuinely appreciated and thanked for what they do, which makes them far more likely to help or be involved in a project that makes a difference in people’s lives. Releasing the attitude of gratitude is a win/win for everyone and if you can embrace it, you will quickly understand why it is some folks who seem to be grateful all the time are often some of the happiest people you know.
Yes, it is the season to be thankful for what we have. But why not adopt this attitude and be grateful all year? The worst you can get from it is that you start to feel better because you will be lifting someone else up. There is something magical in an attitude of gratitude. I have seen it at work all around me and the difference it has made in my own life over the years. In many areas of the ancient scriptures, gratitude and giving thanks is thoroughly discussed.
Take today and tomorrow and make a list of everything you are grateful and thankful for. Even if you are going through the most difficult time of your life right now and are facing serious challenges, by making a list, looking at what you have in your life and reading the list out loud, I bet you can still find many more reasons for giving thanks than what your struggles add up to.
To you and your family, have a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving.
Giving thanks to the people around us is an attitude. It is a way in which we choose to act and a way we choose to treat others. I say choice because I believe it is just that: our choice. I choose to be thankful that my kids are healthy and I have a warm, dry home for them to sleep in at night. I also choose to be thankful for having some really great friends in my life that I can laugh with, pray with and lean on when I need to. Although I do not necessarily welcome the struggles, I am thankful for them because without them, I would not be the person I am today, for it is those struggles that have molded me, stretched me and pushed me into who I am today. Yes, I am thankful for many things that I have been so fortunate to be a part of and experience in this life.
Something else that being thankful does, is that it has a reciprocating law attached to it which seems to always come back around. When we show gratitude towards someone, we are rewarded by the releasing of positive energy that will come back to us, sometimes in a way of blessed friendships and sometimes in a way of more peace and love in our own life. I have also seen situations where people are genuinely appreciated and thanked for what they do, which makes them far more likely to help or be involved in a project that makes a difference in people’s lives. Releasing the attitude of gratitude is a win/win for everyone and if you can embrace it, you will quickly understand why it is some folks who seem to be grateful all the time are often some of the happiest people you know.
Yes, it is the season to be thankful for what we have. But why not adopt this attitude and be grateful all year? The worst you can get from it is that you start to feel better because you will be lifting someone else up. There is something magical in an attitude of gratitude. I have seen it at work all around me and the difference it has made in my own life over the years. In many areas of the ancient scriptures, gratitude and giving thanks is thoroughly discussed.
Take today and tomorrow and make a list of everything you are grateful and thankful for. Even if you are going through the most difficult time of your life right now and are facing serious challenges, by making a list, looking at what you have in your life and reading the list out loud, I bet you can still find many more reasons for giving thanks than what your struggles add up to.
To you and your family, have a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Finish those things that you start
I have always found it interesting that there always seem to be a certain amount of small things in our lives that tend to weigh us down. You know, things like un-returned phone calls or that garden rake you borrowed from the neighbor, or that five dollars you owe your brother. They’re just little things really, but it always seems to be that the pile of those little things ends up turning into a lot of things. That’s when they weigh us down and take away from us rather than give to us.
Too many times, unfinished business just seems to happen. We have good intentions, we even start to take action on these intentions but for whatever reason, we just fall short. I know many times over the years I have had more than my share of these little things in my life and boy did they ever pull on me. Any of you ever experience this? Oddly enough, these unsettled dealings would always pop up in my mind and remind me that they were there at the most inconvenient times. Like at three am when I would get up to let the dog out or while I am on the phone with a client, this or that little thing would rise up to the surface and remind me of what I had either forgotten or just plain put off. All of this did one thing to me which eventually made me stand up and say, no more! It stole peace from my life.
Every time we have something to do and we put it off or forget about it, that task will stay with us. It rarely leaves us until we have completed that which we set out to do. Oh sure we can tell ourselves we will do it tomorrow or even next week on our way into town. We all have great intentions of doing just that, but if we are truthful with ourselves how many times do we just forget and not follow through? Probably more times than we care to admit. The bigger problem is, all of these unfinished tasks (regardless of how small) take our energy. Yes, it takes energy to continue to hold onto these things. Granted, maybe not very much but when you have eight or ten of these going on at the same time, it can be very noticeable.
Not too long ago I was at a client’s house and they were telling me about all of the projects they had started but never finished. They were just small things, from what I saw it maybe would have only taken them fifteen minutes to complete, yet they had dozens of them in progress. It had been this way for months as best as I could tell. When I asked them why they had not finished any of them, the response was: “oh we will one of these days.” Sadly enough, many people go through life like this and believe it or not, it does have a negative affect on us. I know this first-hand because I was one of those people.
When we complete a project or a task, emotionally, it gives us strength. We prove to our self that what we set out to do, we actually did. Not only that, we saw it through all the way to the very end. This can be a great confidence and self esteem builder. Having a father who rarely finished what he started, I had to break the cycle after I grew up and left home to live my own life. It was not easy and at times it felt like I would never be able to change. Eventually I did and once I broke the cycle I had such a freedom and release come over me that I wondered why I had not done it sooner. It was almost like I was given a huge boost of power or energy I had never known prior. Yes, finishing projects, no matter how big or small, aids each one of us in giving us more peace.
In your life, what do you need to finish? What is that you have been telling yourself for months you are going to do but still haven’t done? Do you need to take the dishpan back to the neighbor’s? Do you need to return the power tool to your in-laws? Maybe the ten dollars you borrowed from a friend has been on your mind for weeks or even months and has been bugging you. Make the decision today to settle these things at once. Be done with them and get them off your “to do” list. Plan it so that ALL of these unfinished tasks will be wrapped up in one day and then watch how much peace, confidence and energy flow into your life.
Like I did, you will be wondering why you didn’t do it sooner.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Too many times, unfinished business just seems to happen. We have good intentions, we even start to take action on these intentions but for whatever reason, we just fall short. I know many times over the years I have had more than my share of these little things in my life and boy did they ever pull on me. Any of you ever experience this? Oddly enough, these unsettled dealings would always pop up in my mind and remind me that they were there at the most inconvenient times. Like at three am when I would get up to let the dog out or while I am on the phone with a client, this or that little thing would rise up to the surface and remind me of what I had either forgotten or just plain put off. All of this did one thing to me which eventually made me stand up and say, no more! It stole peace from my life.
Every time we have something to do and we put it off or forget about it, that task will stay with us. It rarely leaves us until we have completed that which we set out to do. Oh sure we can tell ourselves we will do it tomorrow or even next week on our way into town. We all have great intentions of doing just that, but if we are truthful with ourselves how many times do we just forget and not follow through? Probably more times than we care to admit. The bigger problem is, all of these unfinished tasks (regardless of how small) take our energy. Yes, it takes energy to continue to hold onto these things. Granted, maybe not very much but when you have eight or ten of these going on at the same time, it can be very noticeable.
Not too long ago I was at a client’s house and they were telling me about all of the projects they had started but never finished. They were just small things, from what I saw it maybe would have only taken them fifteen minutes to complete, yet they had dozens of them in progress. It had been this way for months as best as I could tell. When I asked them why they had not finished any of them, the response was: “oh we will one of these days.” Sadly enough, many people go through life like this and believe it or not, it does have a negative affect on us. I know this first-hand because I was one of those people.
When we complete a project or a task, emotionally, it gives us strength. We prove to our self that what we set out to do, we actually did. Not only that, we saw it through all the way to the very end. This can be a great confidence and self esteem builder. Having a father who rarely finished what he started, I had to break the cycle after I grew up and left home to live my own life. It was not easy and at times it felt like I would never be able to change. Eventually I did and once I broke the cycle I had such a freedom and release come over me that I wondered why I had not done it sooner. It was almost like I was given a huge boost of power or energy I had never known prior. Yes, finishing projects, no matter how big or small, aids each one of us in giving us more peace.
In your life, what do you need to finish? What is that you have been telling yourself for months you are going to do but still haven’t done? Do you need to take the dishpan back to the neighbor’s? Do you need to return the power tool to your in-laws? Maybe the ten dollars you borrowed from a friend has been on your mind for weeks or even months and has been bugging you. Make the decision today to settle these things at once. Be done with them and get them off your “to do” list. Plan it so that ALL of these unfinished tasks will be wrapped up in one day and then watch how much peace, confidence and energy flow into your life.
Like I did, you will be wondering why you didn’t do it sooner.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Setting Goals?...Consider This.
As we move into late fall, many of us start to see that the holidays are coming upon us sooner than we want. Fall is such a beautiful time of year. It is almost hard to believe that some of those trees out there can produce such bright orange and yellow leaves. Warm air has been replaced by cool brisk mornings and we know that winter is knocking at the door. This also means that we are approaching the end of 2010 and, for many; it is a time to think about how different they want next year to be for them.
Right around now, many of us will start to think and lay out some goals for our selves. Work goals, weight goals and exercise goals probably top the list and it seems like every time January 1st rolls around, we jump on that band wagon and set out to create or form some new habits through setting some goals. Sound familiar to anyone? If this is you or you are thinking about setting some goals come the end of this year I want you to consider something. For now, consider that there are two different ways to move closer to those goals. Yes, hard work and persistence is and always will be the main way but there is also a way I want you to give some thought to and that is: changing your beliefs. As an example, I am going to use losing weight. Primarily because so many of us want to set new weight goals come late December.
Because the beliefs we hold about our self are such a huge limiting factor within each of us, I am going to start with that. Let’s say that I weigh 200 lbs and wanted to lose 40 lbs over the next 6 months, bringing me to an ideal weight (for my size) of 160 lbs. When I first think about this as a goal and start to consider it and even write it down, my deep rooted program (my belief about what I currently weigh) is going to start rejecting my new thoughts and actions. In fact, upon it hearing that I want to weigh 40 lbs less, it will start to put up a fight, maybe even throw a fit. It will tell you all the reasons why you can’t lose 40 lbs: You love food too much, you can’t exercise, you can’t give up those sweets and we can do that next year and so on and so on. Literally, it will throw every reason in the world at you as to why it just can’t happen and all of it is nothing more than a mental battle. Yes, it is all going to happen between our ears. The truth of the matter is you and I can lose as much weight as we want. It is our programmed belief that 9 times out of 10 will hold us back and most of us don’t even realize it.
Our belief about our self will mostly dictate nearly everything we do or want to do. When it comes to goal setting, if we want to be more effective, what we have to do is before we set that weight goal, is start to tell our selves that we can lose weight. Verbal, out loud affirmations usually work best at things like this. First we give our current program something to consider, (I can lose the weight) then we tell our self this over and over and over again. This starts the “re-programming of your belief”. Yes, that old program will push back, I can promise you but you will need to keep pushing forward. Until your belief is changed or has started to be changed about what you should weigh, starting any kind of new diet, exercise program or goals you have set, will most likely come up short. Simply because you will be not only battling your body and what it wants, you will also be in a mental battle. You and I are better off to get all the tools we can on our side if we are going to be successful, especially when are trying to change a built in program.
While there are many people who can charge forward without changing this belief first, they appear to be the ones with an extreme amount of will power, determination and a lot of drive. There will always be those folks who can and do reach their goals this way. It seems that later, after they have started the physical change in their body (through diet and exercise) that the belief is then changed secondary. If the belief is not changed, this is often when we see people bounce back to their old ways and old weight. The program in their mind (belief) was never changed.
For the rest of us though… this might be that one tool that will help give us that edge we have been looking for when it comes to making changes in our life. I don’t claim this as an elite tool for everyone I just know that what we believe to be true, is in fact true for us. If we can change our belief, we can change our actions. Change our actions and we can have a different outcome.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Right around now, many of us will start to think and lay out some goals for our selves. Work goals, weight goals and exercise goals probably top the list and it seems like every time January 1st rolls around, we jump on that band wagon and set out to create or form some new habits through setting some goals. Sound familiar to anyone? If this is you or you are thinking about setting some goals come the end of this year I want you to consider something. For now, consider that there are two different ways to move closer to those goals. Yes, hard work and persistence is and always will be the main way but there is also a way I want you to give some thought to and that is: changing your beliefs. As an example, I am going to use losing weight. Primarily because so many of us want to set new weight goals come late December.
Because the beliefs we hold about our self are such a huge limiting factor within each of us, I am going to start with that. Let’s say that I weigh 200 lbs and wanted to lose 40 lbs over the next 6 months, bringing me to an ideal weight (for my size) of 160 lbs. When I first think about this as a goal and start to consider it and even write it down, my deep rooted program (my belief about what I currently weigh) is going to start rejecting my new thoughts and actions. In fact, upon it hearing that I want to weigh 40 lbs less, it will start to put up a fight, maybe even throw a fit. It will tell you all the reasons why you can’t lose 40 lbs: You love food too much, you can’t exercise, you can’t give up those sweets and we can do that next year and so on and so on. Literally, it will throw every reason in the world at you as to why it just can’t happen and all of it is nothing more than a mental battle. Yes, it is all going to happen between our ears. The truth of the matter is you and I can lose as much weight as we want. It is our programmed belief that 9 times out of 10 will hold us back and most of us don’t even realize it.
Our belief about our self will mostly dictate nearly everything we do or want to do. When it comes to goal setting, if we want to be more effective, what we have to do is before we set that weight goal, is start to tell our selves that we can lose weight. Verbal, out loud affirmations usually work best at things like this. First we give our current program something to consider, (I can lose the weight) then we tell our self this over and over and over again. This starts the “re-programming of your belief”. Yes, that old program will push back, I can promise you but you will need to keep pushing forward. Until your belief is changed or has started to be changed about what you should weigh, starting any kind of new diet, exercise program or goals you have set, will most likely come up short. Simply because you will be not only battling your body and what it wants, you will also be in a mental battle. You and I are better off to get all the tools we can on our side if we are going to be successful, especially when are trying to change a built in program.
While there are many people who can charge forward without changing this belief first, they appear to be the ones with an extreme amount of will power, determination and a lot of drive. There will always be those folks who can and do reach their goals this way. It seems that later, after they have started the physical change in their body (through diet and exercise) that the belief is then changed secondary. If the belief is not changed, this is often when we see people bounce back to their old ways and old weight. The program in their mind (belief) was never changed.
For the rest of us though… this might be that one tool that will help give us that edge we have been looking for when it comes to making changes in our life. I don’t claim this as an elite tool for everyone I just know that what we believe to be true, is in fact true for us. If we can change our belief, we can change our actions. Change our actions and we can have a different outcome.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Friday, October 15, 2010
What Happened to That Dream?
Remember when you were a child and you had dreams of becoming a fire fighter or maybe a doctor, an astronaut or even a business owner? Maybe your dream was to travel the world and see the sights of Rome, Africa or Alaska. At one time, I had a dream to be a race car driver, which later turned into being a stunt man. Those dreams, when we were in our younger years, seemed fairly obtainable didn’t they? No one told us we couldn’t do this, that or the other. No one even told us that it was going to be hard to go after that dream. We just kept visualizing in our minds over and over again how it would be, what our life would be like. We visualized what it would be like to be in that moment, living our dream and actually doing what we pictured ourselves doing. Can you remember this? Remember how you felt? If you look deep enough, it’s still there, probably buried down deep under a mountain of stuff, but I assure you, it’s there.
Whatever happened to us chasing those dreams? How did they become so buried? In nearly every conversation I have had with someone who has followed their dreams, somewhere in the conversation they have always added that they never stopped thinking about their dream and never stopped believing they could have it, regardless of their age. Could it be then, that the rest of us have let life take over and get in the way? Stop for a moment and ask yourself, “What happened to those dreams I had as a kid?”
As an adult, I believe those dreams we had as children were not an accident, a coincidence or a bleep in our imaginations. You and I have the ability to dream, believe and create things from virtually nothing. We were given this from the ultimate creator, God Himself. Not only have we been given this gift, we have also been given the necessary tools to follow through with our dreams. For thousands of years people have done this, from the Bible to history books to successful people like Bill Gates. It all starts with a dream, the vision of what we want to achieve. I have heard it said that everything in this world has been created twice. The first time, in someone’s mind and then in its physical form. All of it started with a dream.
As we grow, we also dream new dreams. Maybe they are dreams with a deeper meaning, focused on helping people. As we mature, often times our dreams mature along with us. Now that I am 41 I no longer have a dream to be a race car driver or a stunt man. However, I still have dreams and the further down the path of life and maturity I go, the larger my dreams have become.
So, I want to ask you: What is your dream? What is inside of you that has been sticking around and will not go away? Have you buried it? If so, it may require you to search inside and pull your dream out, dust it off and spend a little time with it. I believe the dream is there. On some level each one of us, regardless of who we are, carry a song in our heart and a dream to entertain. For some, it raises its head up once in awhile and says, “Hey, remember me?” Your dream… it is still there… can you see it?
I once was being counseled by a very wise mentor of mine who posed this question, “Scott, if it is God that plants dreams within us and we choose not to follow those dreams, could we be missing the blessing and the calling He has upon our life?” Needless to say, his question got me thinking.
Dreams give us a focus, a direction, something to help give life meaning and purpose. You may have a dream to be the best mother or the best father possible and through that, give your kids every possible tool to become all they can be. Or, you may have a dream to open up a community center offering a place for kids to play sports and games, or for families to participate in activities together. Regardless of what it is, or how big or how small it is, it is your dream and it takes the same amount of time and energy to dream a small dream as it does a big dream. Nurture it, protect it and believe in it because if it were not obtainable or even worthwhile… it would have never become your dream.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.co.
Whatever happened to us chasing those dreams? How did they become so buried? In nearly every conversation I have had with someone who has followed their dreams, somewhere in the conversation they have always added that they never stopped thinking about their dream and never stopped believing they could have it, regardless of their age. Could it be then, that the rest of us have let life take over and get in the way? Stop for a moment and ask yourself, “What happened to those dreams I had as a kid?”
As an adult, I believe those dreams we had as children were not an accident, a coincidence or a bleep in our imaginations. You and I have the ability to dream, believe and create things from virtually nothing. We were given this from the ultimate creator, God Himself. Not only have we been given this gift, we have also been given the necessary tools to follow through with our dreams. For thousands of years people have done this, from the Bible to history books to successful people like Bill Gates. It all starts with a dream, the vision of what we want to achieve. I have heard it said that everything in this world has been created twice. The first time, in someone’s mind and then in its physical form. All of it started with a dream.
As we grow, we also dream new dreams. Maybe they are dreams with a deeper meaning, focused on helping people. As we mature, often times our dreams mature along with us. Now that I am 41 I no longer have a dream to be a race car driver or a stunt man. However, I still have dreams and the further down the path of life and maturity I go, the larger my dreams have become.
So, I want to ask you: What is your dream? What is inside of you that has been sticking around and will not go away? Have you buried it? If so, it may require you to search inside and pull your dream out, dust it off and spend a little time with it. I believe the dream is there. On some level each one of us, regardless of who we are, carry a song in our heart and a dream to entertain. For some, it raises its head up once in awhile and says, “Hey, remember me?” Your dream… it is still there… can you see it?
I once was being counseled by a very wise mentor of mine who posed this question, “Scott, if it is God that plants dreams within us and we choose not to follow those dreams, could we be missing the blessing and the calling He has upon our life?” Needless to say, his question got me thinking.
Dreams give us a focus, a direction, something to help give life meaning and purpose. You may have a dream to be the best mother or the best father possible and through that, give your kids every possible tool to become all they can be. Or, you may have a dream to open up a community center offering a place for kids to play sports and games, or for families to participate in activities together. Regardless of what it is, or how big or how small it is, it is your dream and it takes the same amount of time and energy to dream a small dream as it does a big dream. Nurture it, protect it and believe in it because if it were not obtainable or even worthwhile… it would have never become your dream.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.co.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Part 2 - "it is what we continually say that matters."
Last week, I suggested that you say to yourself, out loud: I am important and I am valuable. Did you do this? If it felt odd or even difficult to say, it is because your subconscious did not believe it when you said it. Not only did it not believe it, but it simply did not line up with what you believe about yourself. Now that might be a little hard for some people to hear but I will assure you it is true. A low self esteem can be seen the easiest when we say something positive and supportive about ourselves, to ourselves and then watching inward to see how we feel after saying it. Is there an uncomfortable or a push back feeling when you say this?
I have seen many people walk down a hall or a sidewalk with their head hanging low, looking at the ground in front of them. They rarely ever notice the people around them. It is as if they are in some kind of withdrawn state of mind. All to themselves, looking at no one and noticing nothing around them. Years ago, I often wondered why it was that people did this. I even caught myself doing it a few times. I wondered what this behavior was and why people do it. I had a boss of mine at one time that hung his head down low everywhere he walked, looking at the ground. Something within me just stirred and I wanted to know where this came from and why do people do this?
Today, many people all around us suffer from low self esteem or a bad self image. It seems that there are no common denominators as to who is affected and who is not. White collar, blue collar, young and old, people from all walks carry around a poor self image. The one thing that we can tie all of this together with is that at some point, in our past, those of us affected by this condition had a less than supportive atmosphere we lived in or spent time around. Maybe it was an abusive situation or there was a lack of affection or love. Maybe it was that we never got the approval of someone who we looked up to and admired or were put down verbally by our parents, Aunts or Uncles, even siblings. Many ingredients are mixed into us to produce a self image.
Recently, I heard an old kids saying that I had not heard in literally, 20 plus years. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Upon hearing this, I thought back to my youth and how kids can sometimes unintentionally say the meanest things. While this is true that names cannot hurt us, what should have been added to this little phrase was: as long as I don’t believe in what is being said to me. Name calling has been going on for thousands and thousands of years. It is not the name calling that affects us, it is when we start believing what we hear, then, the words can do more than just hurt us, they can sink us! Unfortunately though, if our subconscious here’s something over and over again, it will start to believe it.
You and I need to be on guard with not just what people say to us, but what we continually hear, over and over again. This is where the damage can be done and it doesn’t happen over night. It happens slowly, over time, day in and day out. We have to guard our ears but we need to guard even more than that. We need to guard what we believe about our self. Do you believe you are an ugly person or do you believe you are a beautiful person? Do you believe you are a caring, thoughtful person or do you believe you are selfish? Chances are what you have been repeatedly told or what you have been telling yourself is what is true for you. Right or wrong way of thinking is not relevant here… it is what you believe that changes everything, especially when it comes to YOU.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
I have seen many people walk down a hall or a sidewalk with their head hanging low, looking at the ground in front of them. They rarely ever notice the people around them. It is as if they are in some kind of withdrawn state of mind. All to themselves, looking at no one and noticing nothing around them. Years ago, I often wondered why it was that people did this. I even caught myself doing it a few times. I wondered what this behavior was and why people do it. I had a boss of mine at one time that hung his head down low everywhere he walked, looking at the ground. Something within me just stirred and I wanted to know where this came from and why do people do this?
Today, many people all around us suffer from low self esteem or a bad self image. It seems that there are no common denominators as to who is affected and who is not. White collar, blue collar, young and old, people from all walks carry around a poor self image. The one thing that we can tie all of this together with is that at some point, in our past, those of us affected by this condition had a less than supportive atmosphere we lived in or spent time around. Maybe it was an abusive situation or there was a lack of affection or love. Maybe it was that we never got the approval of someone who we looked up to and admired or were put down verbally by our parents, Aunts or Uncles, even siblings. Many ingredients are mixed into us to produce a self image.
Recently, I heard an old kids saying that I had not heard in literally, 20 plus years. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Upon hearing this, I thought back to my youth and how kids can sometimes unintentionally say the meanest things. While this is true that names cannot hurt us, what should have been added to this little phrase was: as long as I don’t believe in what is being said to me. Name calling has been going on for thousands and thousands of years. It is not the name calling that affects us, it is when we start believing what we hear, then, the words can do more than just hurt us, they can sink us! Unfortunately though, if our subconscious here’s something over and over again, it will start to believe it.
You and I need to be on guard with not just what people say to us, but what we continually hear, over and over again. This is where the damage can be done and it doesn’t happen over night. It happens slowly, over time, day in and day out. We have to guard our ears but we need to guard even more than that. We need to guard what we believe about our self. Do you believe you are an ugly person or do you believe you are a beautiful person? Do you believe you are a caring, thoughtful person or do you believe you are selfish? Chances are what you have been repeatedly told or what you have been telling yourself is what is true for you. Right or wrong way of thinking is not relevant here… it is what you believe that changes everything, especially when it comes to YOU.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
Friday, October 1, 2010
It is what we repeatedly say out loud that matters most
Recently, I heard a story of a young boy who loved to play baseball. He spent a lot of time studying and watching baseball games on TV, trying to understand everything about the game that he could. One day, in his backyard, he was working on his batting. Being by himself, he would throw the ball up, grab his bat and swing at the ball. He would tell himself: “I am the greatest batter who ever lived” and then swing at the ball. On his first attempt of doing this, he missed. So he reached down, grabbed the ball and said out loud to himself: “I am the greatest batter who ever lived”, threw the ball up and swung again, missing for a second time. But he would not allow himself to get discouraged. He reached down for a third time, grabbed the ball and again repeated the words: “I am the greatest batter who ever lived” and then swung. Unfortunately, he missed and the ball landed beside him again. Without getting mad, he paused for a moment, smiled and then said: “I may not be the world’s best batter, but I am certainly the world’s greatest pitcher.”
What you and I tell ourselves makes a big difference in how we see ourselves. Primarily because what we repeatedly say, our subconscious will believe. As well as this being good news, it can also be very bad news. I know recently I have written on this subject yet something more has stirred inside me. For weeks now, I have had many people confess that at times, the words they used when talking to themselves were not very positive. In fact, when they made a mistake or forgot to do a task, on many occasions the self talk they used was actually down right destructive. A handful of people even told me they had been doing this for as many years as they could remember.
Upon hearing this, what we need to remember is that it is not necessarily what we say or think everyday that matters most. Instead, it is what we repeatedly say out loud to our selves that make all the difference in the world. Our subconscious will take those words in as “truth” and mark them as our “belief,” thus helping to shape our self image and self esteem.
In this story, the young boy would not allow negative self talk to come into his mind. Simply put, he did not focus on his faults, he focused on what he was good at. In addition to his focus, he verbalized his success with what he saw in his mind. What he wanted is what he spoke from his mouth. These are the principals and the keys needed for us to acquire a better self image and higher self esteem. I know how natural it is for those negative self defeating thoughts to come into our minds. For years I battled this. After some extensive searching, one thing that helped me defeat the negative self talk and destructive thoughts, was that I realized that my thoughts are “NOT” who I am. Once I truly got this, it gave me permission to look at myself in a whole new dimension. “You mean I am not a failure?” “You mean I am actually a very important person?” “I really can make a difference in those around me in my community?” The answer is easy. Yes you do and yes you can!
Don’t give in to the negative thoughts and destructive self talk. You are valuable and, yes, you are unique. God only made one of you and it was not by accident. What He has created in you, only you can do. Not me, not your spouse, not your Pastor nor your parents. He created you for a special assignment. You and I need to always be on guard for things that try to tell us: “Oh you can’t do that” or “Why are you even trying, you will never make anything of it.” Those thoughts do not come from God and there is only one way on earth that they will ever hold any truth, and that is, if you allow them to!
Take a moment after reading this and say to yourself, out loud: “I am important and I am valuable.” Then, say it again and again and yet one more time. Does it feel strange? Do you find it uncomfortable to say this? If you do, then I want you to read next week’s message because I have more to share on this and you are NOT going to want to miss it!
For now, be blessed and have a great Friday everyone.
What you and I tell ourselves makes a big difference in how we see ourselves. Primarily because what we repeatedly say, our subconscious will believe. As well as this being good news, it can also be very bad news. I know recently I have written on this subject yet something more has stirred inside me. For weeks now, I have had many people confess that at times, the words they used when talking to themselves were not very positive. In fact, when they made a mistake or forgot to do a task, on many occasions the self talk they used was actually down right destructive. A handful of people even told me they had been doing this for as many years as they could remember.
Upon hearing this, what we need to remember is that it is not necessarily what we say or think everyday that matters most. Instead, it is what we repeatedly say out loud to our selves that make all the difference in the world. Our subconscious will take those words in as “truth” and mark them as our “belief,” thus helping to shape our self image and self esteem.
In this story, the young boy would not allow negative self talk to come into his mind. Simply put, he did not focus on his faults, he focused on what he was good at. In addition to his focus, he verbalized his success with what he saw in his mind. What he wanted is what he spoke from his mouth. These are the principals and the keys needed for us to acquire a better self image and higher self esteem. I know how natural it is for those negative self defeating thoughts to come into our minds. For years I battled this. After some extensive searching, one thing that helped me defeat the negative self talk and destructive thoughts, was that I realized that my thoughts are “NOT” who I am. Once I truly got this, it gave me permission to look at myself in a whole new dimension. “You mean I am not a failure?” “You mean I am actually a very important person?” “I really can make a difference in those around me in my community?” The answer is easy. Yes you do and yes you can!
Don’t give in to the negative thoughts and destructive self talk. You are valuable and, yes, you are unique. God only made one of you and it was not by accident. What He has created in you, only you can do. Not me, not your spouse, not your Pastor nor your parents. He created you for a special assignment. You and I need to always be on guard for things that try to tell us: “Oh you can’t do that” or “Why are you even trying, you will never make anything of it.” Those thoughts do not come from God and there is only one way on earth that they will ever hold any truth, and that is, if you allow them to!
Take a moment after reading this and say to yourself, out loud: “I am important and I am valuable.” Then, say it again and again and yet one more time. Does it feel strange? Do you find it uncomfortable to say this? If you do, then I want you to read next week’s message because I have more to share on this and you are NOT going to want to miss it!
For now, be blessed and have a great Friday everyone.
Friday, September 24, 2010
It's our Attitude
The other night my wife and I were playing a board game with our daughters prior to their bedtime. It was a school night so we were trying to move the game along quickly so they would not stay up too late, resulting in a “tired morning” for them. The game was Chutes and Ladders. A great game for younger kids as it helps them to count and focus.
About 15 minutes after starting the game, my wife was the first one to reach the finish line, making her the winner. My daughters and I continued to play and a short while later, my youngest reached the finished line as well. By this time, I was about done with the game mentally and it was getting closer to their bedtime. So I left the game and my wife stepped in to fill my spot. About ten minutes later, I heard my oldest daughter yelling down the hall: YEAH….WOO HOO! I put two and two together and realized she had crossed the finish line! A moment later as she walked down the hall to where I was, I asked her if she was at all upset because she had not won the game. Her reply to me left me almost speechless, “What do you mean Dad, I did win, I beat you.”
Of all the tools you and I carry around with us perhaps our attitude is the most critical and the most powerful. It can help us soar to new heights or aid us in temporary setbacks. My daughter’s attitude at that moment was so positive it literally made all the difference in the world for her. The difference between struggling, being upset and procrastinating going to bed or ending her day knowing she had just beaten her Dad at a game. Yes, I was very proud of her, that she chose to look at the glass half-full rather than half-empty. Maybe some of my “can do” attitude is rubbing off on her!
Looking back on this fun family night, what I find most interesting is the game we played had an ending no one could predict. None of us knew who would come in first and who would come in last. No one knew who would be sent back to the bottom and who would advance to the top. The game was played out the only way it could have been. This is very much like our lives, isn’t it? We rarely know what tomorrow is going to bring and usually don’t even know what the next hour will bring. Yet all the way through to the end we have an “attitude.” Good, bad or indifferent, it is there and we move forward with it the best we can. Just as a game is played or our lives are lived, there is our attitude. And yes, I agree, that it truly is our attitude that determines our altitude.
My daughter’s attitude toward how the game ended made a world of difference for her, which resulted in making the bedtime routine a little easier for my wife and me. So really, not only does it have an immediate effect on ourselves but others around us as well. I know that not all the time do our kids have a good attitude. When they do, it might be a good idea to show them the difference it makes to everyone around them. They, too, need to understand when they have the right attitude in life it can lift them to new heights, or destruct the best well thought out plan. For this reason alone, I am a firm believer in kids being involved, to some degree, in sports. It teaches them not only how to work as a team, but to be a winning team they ALL need to have a “can do” attitude, not just one or two of them.
Regardless of what you and I do, where we go or who we see, we are going to do it with a very radiant attitude. You see, we get to carry our attitude with us every where we go and anyone around us will be able to see it. We can choose that attitude each and every day in everything we do. Granted, some days it may be easier to choose a good attitude, but none the less, it is still our choice. It’s not your spouse’s choice, your boss’s choice or your family’s choice. It is your choice and I want to encourage you to choose wisely. Regardless of what or where tomorrow leads you, choose to have a great attitude. One of my local favorite restaurants I take my family to has a sign on the wall and it reads: “Ask yourself a question, is my attitude worth catching?
Have blessed Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
About 15 minutes after starting the game, my wife was the first one to reach the finish line, making her the winner. My daughters and I continued to play and a short while later, my youngest reached the finished line as well. By this time, I was about done with the game mentally and it was getting closer to their bedtime. So I left the game and my wife stepped in to fill my spot. About ten minutes later, I heard my oldest daughter yelling down the hall: YEAH….WOO HOO! I put two and two together and realized she had crossed the finish line! A moment later as she walked down the hall to where I was, I asked her if she was at all upset because she had not won the game. Her reply to me left me almost speechless, “What do you mean Dad, I did win, I beat you.”
Of all the tools you and I carry around with us perhaps our attitude is the most critical and the most powerful. It can help us soar to new heights or aid us in temporary setbacks. My daughter’s attitude at that moment was so positive it literally made all the difference in the world for her. The difference between struggling, being upset and procrastinating going to bed or ending her day knowing she had just beaten her Dad at a game. Yes, I was very proud of her, that she chose to look at the glass half-full rather than half-empty. Maybe some of my “can do” attitude is rubbing off on her!
Looking back on this fun family night, what I find most interesting is the game we played had an ending no one could predict. None of us knew who would come in first and who would come in last. No one knew who would be sent back to the bottom and who would advance to the top. The game was played out the only way it could have been. This is very much like our lives, isn’t it? We rarely know what tomorrow is going to bring and usually don’t even know what the next hour will bring. Yet all the way through to the end we have an “attitude.” Good, bad or indifferent, it is there and we move forward with it the best we can. Just as a game is played or our lives are lived, there is our attitude. And yes, I agree, that it truly is our attitude that determines our altitude.
My daughter’s attitude toward how the game ended made a world of difference for her, which resulted in making the bedtime routine a little easier for my wife and me. So really, not only does it have an immediate effect on ourselves but others around us as well. I know that not all the time do our kids have a good attitude. When they do, it might be a good idea to show them the difference it makes to everyone around them. They, too, need to understand when they have the right attitude in life it can lift them to new heights, or destruct the best well thought out plan. For this reason alone, I am a firm believer in kids being involved, to some degree, in sports. It teaches them not only how to work as a team, but to be a winning team they ALL need to have a “can do” attitude, not just one or two of them.
Regardless of what you and I do, where we go or who we see, we are going to do it with a very radiant attitude. You see, we get to carry our attitude with us every where we go and anyone around us will be able to see it. We can choose that attitude each and every day in everything we do. Granted, some days it may be easier to choose a good attitude, but none the less, it is still our choice. It’s not your spouse’s choice, your boss’s choice or your family’s choice. It is your choice and I want to encourage you to choose wisely. Regardless of what or where tomorrow leads you, choose to have a great attitude. One of my local favorite restaurants I take my family to has a sign on the wall and it reads: “Ask yourself a question, is my attitude worth catching?
Have blessed Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Friday, September 17, 2010
What are you telling yourself
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and heard them say: “I am such an idiot” or, “I can’t believe I was so stupid to have done that.” I know I have heard it and I must say I just cringe inside every time I do. Not only do I cringe but my heart almost skips a beat. That is a pretty strong statement to say, especially to our self.
Just last week I found myself in this kind of situation. I was carrying on a meaningful conversation with a gentleman whom I have know for a few years when all of a sudden, right out of left field he says: “Dang it… I am such an idiot, how could I have forgotten that!” Of course I stood there in shock, almost in disbelieve of what I had just heard. But, being the kind of person I am I just had to know: why did he say that about himself. So I asked and like I thought he might say, his response was one of light hearted, no big deal answer. I however, do believe that it is a very big deal. Calling yourself an idiot? No big deal? Really?
The fact is that it is a very big deal, much bigger then you can realize. Our subconscious minds are always in the mode of taking in information that it hears. Things we say and the things we hear others say. Every day, all day, everywhere we are. It’s main function is to take in data and store it so that it can use it later. If you have ever read any books on human psychology and human nature, you know exactly what I am talking about. This can be though a curse and a blessing all at the same time. A curse because everything it hears and hears enough of, it takes in as “truth” and “belief.” Yes, I said EVERYTHING.
The blessing is that through this sub conscious mind, we have the ability to change the way we think and what we believe. This alone should give everyone of us a hope that regardless of where we have been or where we come from, we can alter our current path and even re program our thinking to gain a different result in our life. I know for me… this is what I had to do to overcome my past.
What you and I tell ourself, each and ever day is critical to where we will be, 2, 5 or even 10 years from now. Our self image and self esteem is dependent upon it. I know this first hand because I was one of those people who beat myself up verbally when I screwed up or made a mistake and the problem I constantly faced was that I always felt bad and not worthy after I said it yet I could never figure out why.
Don’t kid yourself here. Your subconscious mind is well aware of what it hears. If you are someone who has been guilty of repeatedly saying things like this, you might want to stop consider what it is that you are doing to yourself. Your self esteem and your self image are on the line. Simply put: It will believe and become what it is told. We need to be careful of what it is that we are saying. To our kids, our spouse and especially to ourself. Our minds are a lot like a computer program. What we put into them, is what will come out.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Just last week I found myself in this kind of situation. I was carrying on a meaningful conversation with a gentleman whom I have know for a few years when all of a sudden, right out of left field he says: “Dang it… I am such an idiot, how could I have forgotten that!” Of course I stood there in shock, almost in disbelieve of what I had just heard. But, being the kind of person I am I just had to know: why did he say that about himself. So I asked and like I thought he might say, his response was one of light hearted, no big deal answer. I however, do believe that it is a very big deal. Calling yourself an idiot? No big deal? Really?
The fact is that it is a very big deal, much bigger then you can realize. Our subconscious minds are always in the mode of taking in information that it hears. Things we say and the things we hear others say. Every day, all day, everywhere we are. It’s main function is to take in data and store it so that it can use it later. If you have ever read any books on human psychology and human nature, you know exactly what I am talking about. This can be though a curse and a blessing all at the same time. A curse because everything it hears and hears enough of, it takes in as “truth” and “belief.” Yes, I said EVERYTHING.
The blessing is that through this sub conscious mind, we have the ability to change the way we think and what we believe. This alone should give everyone of us a hope that regardless of where we have been or where we come from, we can alter our current path and even re program our thinking to gain a different result in our life. I know for me… this is what I had to do to overcome my past.
What you and I tell ourself, each and ever day is critical to where we will be, 2, 5 or even 10 years from now. Our self image and self esteem is dependent upon it. I know this first hand because I was one of those people who beat myself up verbally when I screwed up or made a mistake and the problem I constantly faced was that I always felt bad and not worthy after I said it yet I could never figure out why.
Don’t kid yourself here. Your subconscious mind is well aware of what it hears. If you are someone who has been guilty of repeatedly saying things like this, you might want to stop consider what it is that you are doing to yourself. Your self esteem and your self image are on the line. Simply put: It will believe and become what it is told. We need to be careful of what it is that we are saying. To our kids, our spouse and especially to ourself. Our minds are a lot like a computer program. What we put into them, is what will come out.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Friday, September 10, 2010
Timing...it really is everything
Almost four years ago, I was fortunate enough to cross paths with a gentleman who planted seeds of greatness into my life. This is someone I looked up to and respected. I am sure you know what I am talking about, that many of you at some point have had someone you looked up to, to give you a critical key to life which helped you make a difference. For me, this was a much needed “piece of the puzzle” I was needing.
Steven Fulmer, a life coach and the Creator of LifeQuest Mapping, gave me something at just the right time in my life when I was ready to hear it. He said this:
If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you’ve always got. If you always get what you’ve always got, then you’ll always think the way you’ve always thought. Then if you always think the way you have always thought, you will always feel the way you have always felt. So if you always feel the way you’ve always felt, then you will always do what you’ve always done and so finally, you will always get what you’ve always got.
Yes, it is Socrates and not only did it make a lot of sense to me, it brought me to a whole new level of awareness. Maybe some of you have heard this statement before - it is profound. What I find most interesting about this quote is not just the message it holds but the timing of it and how hard it hit me just when I was ready to hear it.
Since then I have learned that timing truly is everything. I have no doubt that many, many times the right message has been given to me, but I was simply not ready to hear it or know it was the right message or that it was for me. I believe many of us, everyday, are given critical “keys to life and the life we desire” but are simply not ready to hear it. We have all heard the old cliché, “when the student is ready the teacher will appear.” There is a lot more truth to that than most of us realize. Many times throughout my life, the right people have been near and/or around me. Although it was so obvious, I just wasn’t ready mentally or possibly even emotionally.
The more I see, the more I want to see and the more I realize that throughout each of our lives, the timing of certain events are critical. Have you ever heard that opportunity knocks on every door? I believe that statement to be very true. The best and greatest opportunity in the world could be right in front of you. If you’re not ready and aware, it won’t manifest itself in your life and you will miss it. The good news is, it could possibly come back around at some point. However, if you’re not ready, it won’t matter, you will miss it again.
Starting today, look around you and pay attention to who it is that is in your life and who it is that will come into your life over the next 30 days. If you watch closely and seek answers for what your heart truly wants, you might find the keys you need to unlock the next door are closer than you realize.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
Steven Fulmer, a life coach and the Creator of LifeQuest Mapping, gave me something at just the right time in my life when I was ready to hear it. He said this:
If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you’ve always got. If you always get what you’ve always got, then you’ll always think the way you’ve always thought. Then if you always think the way you have always thought, you will always feel the way you have always felt. So if you always feel the way you’ve always felt, then you will always do what you’ve always done and so finally, you will always get what you’ve always got.
Yes, it is Socrates and not only did it make a lot of sense to me, it brought me to a whole new level of awareness. Maybe some of you have heard this statement before - it is profound. What I find most interesting about this quote is not just the message it holds but the timing of it and how hard it hit me just when I was ready to hear it.
Since then I have learned that timing truly is everything. I have no doubt that many, many times the right message has been given to me, but I was simply not ready to hear it or know it was the right message or that it was for me. I believe many of us, everyday, are given critical “keys to life and the life we desire” but are simply not ready to hear it. We have all heard the old cliché, “when the student is ready the teacher will appear.” There is a lot more truth to that than most of us realize. Many times throughout my life, the right people have been near and/or around me. Although it was so obvious, I just wasn’t ready mentally or possibly even emotionally.
The more I see, the more I want to see and the more I realize that throughout each of our lives, the timing of certain events are critical. Have you ever heard that opportunity knocks on every door? I believe that statement to be very true. The best and greatest opportunity in the world could be right in front of you. If you’re not ready and aware, it won’t manifest itself in your life and you will miss it. The good news is, it could possibly come back around at some point. However, if you’re not ready, it won’t matter, you will miss it again.
Starting today, look around you and pay attention to who it is that is in your life and who it is that will come into your life over the next 30 days. If you watch closely and seek answers for what your heart truly wants, you might find the keys you need to unlock the next door are closer than you realize.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Loss
Looking back on our lives from time to time is and can be a healthy thing to do. Reflecting helps us to see where we have made both good and not so good choices. Successes and setbacks, love and loss, happy times and sad times, all of these, you and I can learn from (if we choose to) and use them as a springboard for the future. The one thing thing though that you and I will experience and continue to go through no matter how old, how young, rich or poor, is loss at various stages of life.
The losses we have endured are not always fun to talk about. Most all of us would agree it to be a negative topic and one that we rarely discuss in open. Loss is part of everyday life and although it can stir up strong emotions, there is a lot we can learn from what loss does to us and how we can grow from it. Loss comes in many different forms. There is the loss of a spouse, child, pet, losing money, a limb, a job, a best friend, income, jewelry, sight or hearing, a neighbor, a home, a Grand parent, a soldier in the military, an aunt or uncle. Even in the ancient text, in the very first recording of humans, Adam and Eve lost their privilege of living in the Garden that God provided for them. Loss is everywhere, isn’t it?
I bet if we were to take fifteen minutes and make a list, it would astonish us as to how much loss we have dealt with. What, though, does all of this loss tell us? What does it say? I know people who seem to go from one loss to another to another before the first loss can even be healed from. When you really think about it, why is life filled with so much of it?
A good friend and mentor of mine said, “It is not easy being human.” To that I would have to agree. It isn’t easy, or always pleasant, and it is not always fun. But I don’t think that life was ever meant to be that way. Going back to that story in the first days, Adam and Eve experienced some of the same loss that you and I do today. Could it be that loss is by design? If so, then why? Many books have been written on this topic. Many professional speakers, Pastors and Preachers have spoken on this topic. It has been addressed from the beginning. So if loss has been around that long and appears to be by design, what are we to take from it and do with it?
The only thing I personally can say about this topic is that there is reason to believe that while we are healing from losses in our life, maybe we are supposed to learn some things as well. I have no magical answers here, nor was I there in the early days but humans are learning creatures. We can think on our own, make decisions based on information available to us, and seek more information. That can very well set us at the top of creation with all of our unique and individual abilities. We learn and grow (change) from experiences everyday, every time, in every facet of life. Could that mean we learn from loss too? I say astoundingly, yes!
Loss teaches us about the value of life and all that is in it. We tend to become more thankful and grateful after we have suffered some kind of loss. Why? Because we realize what we once had and how truly important it was to us. Life tends to take on a new meaning after we have suffered loss. Many times people will come to realize those things which are truly important and those which are not. Our hearts can also grow fonder of people around us, and humbleness can set in as well.
Overall, we realize no matter what we have, it can and sometimes will be taken from us. There are no guarantees that the people you love and care about will be around tomorrow. None of us own the crystal ball of life. What we can do is accept, appreciate, love and be thankful for what we have in our lives right now, today. Loss is coming, I promise you. There is no avoiding it and there is no running from it. We might as well learn to deal with it and grow from it so that we can help, support and be a better friend to those around us so when they deal with those unfortunate events of loss, we can be there for them.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
The losses we have endured are not always fun to talk about. Most all of us would agree it to be a negative topic and one that we rarely discuss in open. Loss is part of everyday life and although it can stir up strong emotions, there is a lot we can learn from what loss does to us and how we can grow from it. Loss comes in many different forms. There is the loss of a spouse, child, pet, losing money, a limb, a job, a best friend, income, jewelry, sight or hearing, a neighbor, a home, a Grand parent, a soldier in the military, an aunt or uncle. Even in the ancient text, in the very first recording of humans, Adam and Eve lost their privilege of living in the Garden that God provided for them. Loss is everywhere, isn’t it?
I bet if we were to take fifteen minutes and make a list, it would astonish us as to how much loss we have dealt with. What, though, does all of this loss tell us? What does it say? I know people who seem to go from one loss to another to another before the first loss can even be healed from. When you really think about it, why is life filled with so much of it?
A good friend and mentor of mine said, “It is not easy being human.” To that I would have to agree. It isn’t easy, or always pleasant, and it is not always fun. But I don’t think that life was ever meant to be that way. Going back to that story in the first days, Adam and Eve experienced some of the same loss that you and I do today. Could it be that loss is by design? If so, then why? Many books have been written on this topic. Many professional speakers, Pastors and Preachers have spoken on this topic. It has been addressed from the beginning. So if loss has been around that long and appears to be by design, what are we to take from it and do with it?
The only thing I personally can say about this topic is that there is reason to believe that while we are healing from losses in our life, maybe we are supposed to learn some things as well. I have no magical answers here, nor was I there in the early days but humans are learning creatures. We can think on our own, make decisions based on information available to us, and seek more information. That can very well set us at the top of creation with all of our unique and individual abilities. We learn and grow (change) from experiences everyday, every time, in every facet of life. Could that mean we learn from loss too? I say astoundingly, yes!
Loss teaches us about the value of life and all that is in it. We tend to become more thankful and grateful after we have suffered some kind of loss. Why? Because we realize what we once had and how truly important it was to us. Life tends to take on a new meaning after we have suffered loss. Many times people will come to realize those things which are truly important and those which are not. Our hearts can also grow fonder of people around us, and humbleness can set in as well.
Overall, we realize no matter what we have, it can and sometimes will be taken from us. There are no guarantees that the people you love and care about will be around tomorrow. None of us own the crystal ball of life. What we can do is accept, appreciate, love and be thankful for what we have in our lives right now, today. Loss is coming, I promise you. There is no avoiding it and there is no running from it. We might as well learn to deal with it and grow from it so that we can help, support and be a better friend to those around us so when they deal with those unfortunate events of loss, we can be there for them.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
Friday, August 20, 2010
The 5 Love Types
There is no doubt marriages take a lot of work. The day to day pressures our lives can be under have a way of weighing on us over time. Often, it is easy to forget what our spouse may or may not need. I guess you could say the “comfort zone” is way too easy to fall into when we are simply trying to get through the daily grind and stay up on our responsibilities.
Recently, I have been studying the five love styles commonly referred to as “love languages.” These are essential yet very simple ways in which each of us can give and receive love. We are all born with a style. What intrigues me the most is that every one of us operates from a certain style (a primary) and that we all have a secondary style.
The five styles are as follows: Physical touching, acts of service, words spoken, giving of gifts and quality time. Each of us fit into one or two of these five categories. You may be aware of these, but I want to encourage you to take a few minutes and really learn them. Knowing what matters most to your spouse and to your kids about how they “feel loved” is very important. It is free, short and you may just learn something about yourself as well. When you have a moment, go to: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ and take this short quiz.
I believe during tough times we all need to be aware of these little things. I say little because it does not take much effort or energy to show your kids or your spouse you love them by just simply doing for them what they need done in order to feel loved. It sure sounds like a little thing… but I promise, to feed a relationship and make or keep it healthy is not a little thing. It is huge and can make a world of difference.
A past mentor of mine told me repeatedly: “Scott, even the people who love you and are around you all the time still do not see, feel or need the same things as you.” It actually took me a while to completely learn this, but my mentor was 100% correct. In any relationship, marriage or being a parent, we need to show those around us we love them, the way it is important to them, not the way we think, because chances are, they are two different languages.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
.
Recently, I have been studying the five love styles commonly referred to as “love languages.” These are essential yet very simple ways in which each of us can give and receive love. We are all born with a style. What intrigues me the most is that every one of us operates from a certain style (a primary) and that we all have a secondary style.
The five styles are as follows: Physical touching, acts of service, words spoken, giving of gifts and quality time. Each of us fit into one or two of these five categories. You may be aware of these, but I want to encourage you to take a few minutes and really learn them. Knowing what matters most to your spouse and to your kids about how they “feel loved” is very important. It is free, short and you may just learn something about yourself as well. When you have a moment, go to: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ and take this short quiz.
I believe during tough times we all need to be aware of these little things. I say little because it does not take much effort or energy to show your kids or your spouse you love them by just simply doing for them what they need done in order to feel loved. It sure sounds like a little thing… but I promise, to feed a relationship and make or keep it healthy is not a little thing. It is huge and can make a world of difference.
A past mentor of mine told me repeatedly: “Scott, even the people who love you and are around you all the time still do not see, feel or need the same things as you.” It actually took me a while to completely learn this, but my mentor was 100% correct. In any relationship, marriage or being a parent, we need to show those around us we love them, the way it is important to them, not the way we think, because chances are, they are two different languages.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
.
Friday, August 13, 2010
This Thing Called Happiness
Far too many times I have heard someone say, “I will be happy when…” or, “He makes me happy…she makes me happy.” I think most people have a misunderstanding of what happiness and being happy is and where they can be found.
Personally, I have never found happiness “in” something, like a person or going to a place or even some new gadget I just bought. Even going on a long awaited vacation or trip has never brought me happiness. I know you might be shocked that I said that, I bet some of you will even disagree with me. If we are going to seek this thing called happiness, we first must know what it is and what it is not. Then, we will know better of what we are looking for and where to find it.
While it is fun to get new things, make a lot of money, buy toys and go on trips, this is actually not happiness. If it were happiness, then our lives would be spent on a roller coaster of emotions as those things can come and go in and out of our life. We would spend our days and nights chasing them, thinking they would bring us the happiness we long for. When we “get something new” (like a car) yes, we are happy, but that is not the same as true happiness. When we make a lot of money from our job or a sales commission, yes, it makes us happy, but it does not bring us happiness. Before our kids, my wife and I were fortunate enough to go to Hawaii twice. That was pretty cool! I felt very fortunate and very blessed to be able to do that. Did it make me joyful, excited, motivated and energetic? Absolutely! But no where in there was happiness to be found. Why? Because true happiness must be found on the inside, not the outside.
There is a younger man I know from the church I attend. I have spoken with him a handful of times over the last two years. He does not have much in the way of material things. I believe he only works part time, he is not married nor does he have a girlfriend. Yet every time I see him, he is so full of happiness, joy and is “high” on life. He smiles and hugs people often. At first, even I struggled with his profound positive outlook on life. So one day, being the shy, withdrawn person I am, I walked over to him and asked him. “I just have to know, are you ever not happy?” He looked at me a little strangely and without missing a beat he said: “Why would I ever not be?”
If we are able to really get a grasp of his answer, it can change our lives!
Simply put: happiness is a frame of mind. It’s an attitude that we choose to have or to believe in each and every day. It’s looking at the positive side of things rather than the negative. Yes, the negative things exist and yes crap happens but we can choose to focus on the more positive things instead.
Many things have changed for many people over the last couple of years. A lot of folks have gone through hard times. Yet happiness is not and should never be tied to the economy, your checkbook or your job. We get satisfaction, excitement, joy and more options in life from them, not happiness.
Decide to become happy with where you are right now. It doesn’t matter what you do or do not have. Take a moment today to go to a private place where there is a mirror, and look into it. Tell yourself that today you are going to be happy. Not your spouse, your boss nor even your kids can “make” you happy. The only person who can make you happy is looking back at you in that mirror.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
Personally, I have never found happiness “in” something, like a person or going to a place or even some new gadget I just bought. Even going on a long awaited vacation or trip has never brought me happiness. I know you might be shocked that I said that, I bet some of you will even disagree with me. If we are going to seek this thing called happiness, we first must know what it is and what it is not. Then, we will know better of what we are looking for and where to find it.
While it is fun to get new things, make a lot of money, buy toys and go on trips, this is actually not happiness. If it were happiness, then our lives would be spent on a roller coaster of emotions as those things can come and go in and out of our life. We would spend our days and nights chasing them, thinking they would bring us the happiness we long for. When we “get something new” (like a car) yes, we are happy, but that is not the same as true happiness. When we make a lot of money from our job or a sales commission, yes, it makes us happy, but it does not bring us happiness. Before our kids, my wife and I were fortunate enough to go to Hawaii twice. That was pretty cool! I felt very fortunate and very blessed to be able to do that. Did it make me joyful, excited, motivated and energetic? Absolutely! But no where in there was happiness to be found. Why? Because true happiness must be found on the inside, not the outside.
There is a younger man I know from the church I attend. I have spoken with him a handful of times over the last two years. He does not have much in the way of material things. I believe he only works part time, he is not married nor does he have a girlfriend. Yet every time I see him, he is so full of happiness, joy and is “high” on life. He smiles and hugs people often. At first, even I struggled with his profound positive outlook on life. So one day, being the shy, withdrawn person I am, I walked over to him and asked him. “I just have to know, are you ever not happy?” He looked at me a little strangely and without missing a beat he said: “Why would I ever not be?”
If we are able to really get a grasp of his answer, it can change our lives!
Simply put: happiness is a frame of mind. It’s an attitude that we choose to have or to believe in each and every day. It’s looking at the positive side of things rather than the negative. Yes, the negative things exist and yes crap happens but we can choose to focus on the more positive things instead.
Many things have changed for many people over the last couple of years. A lot of folks have gone through hard times. Yet happiness is not and should never be tied to the economy, your checkbook or your job. We get satisfaction, excitement, joy and more options in life from them, not happiness.
Decide to become happy with where you are right now. It doesn’t matter what you do or do not have. Take a moment today to go to a private place where there is a mirror, and look into it. Tell yourself that today you are going to be happy. Not your spouse, your boss nor even your kids can “make” you happy. The only person who can make you happy is looking back at you in that mirror.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
Friday, August 6, 2010
Losing someone we love
One of life’s many guarantees is that, at some point, some day, we will pass on and leave this earth . We are not immortal (although MANY teenagers think otherwise). It’s by design this should take place, as it is part of the bigger plan.
This week is the nineteenth anniversary of when I lost my Mom. It was a Monday night and I had stopped in to have dinner with my folks. As I was getting ready to leave and head home for the night (I remember it very clearly, just as if it were yesterday), I told her, “Mom, I love you.” I then hugged her and walked out the door. I had no idea this would be the last time I would get to see or talk to my Mom.
Death is never an easy thing to deal with. The loss we feel of losing someone we love hurts us to the core. To some, it paralyzes them, making any task or chore near impossible. I have even heard stories of people who not only became paralyzed from the loss they felt initially, but were never fully able to recover. That deep, hard-hitting sense of “why” and “disbelief” are very real and very powerful and can leave a sting that dwells within for years and even decades.
The twenty-two years I had with my Mom will always hold a special place in my life. I feel blessed that I was close with her, that we always communicated, hugged and loved often. The biggest thing I am grateful for is not necessarily that we were close, but that I have no regrets of the time I had with her. I am able to look at her picture on the wall, smile and know there is nothing I wish we would have done differently. We loved, laughed and lived life as much as a mother and son could have.
I do however, like many people, wish that she could have been able to see, hold and play with her granddaughters. In fact, there is not a day goes by that I do not wish this had happened. I am sure many of you reading this have had your own similar situation. The feeling that you were “cheated out of time” with them is fairly common. I know I have felt like this many times. Is this redundant because you already said “not a day goes by”?
Through the loss of my Mom, I learned that not only is life too short, it is very precious and fragile. We are not given a guarantee for tomorrow, we can only hope and believe it will come. We cannot control when it is our time or the time of someone we love. What we can control is making the most of the time we have with them in our lives. Take today and make being with them a priority. In fact, put them at the top of your list. Don’t wait for next month, next year or until the next convenient day. Today is a gift. Use today to tell and show them you care about them. That way, you will never have to say, “I wish we could have...”
In the last days of a person’s life, I have never heard anyone say, ”You know, I just wish I would have put in a few more hours at the office rather than with my family.”
To all of you who have lost someone close to you, this Friday’s Thought is dedicated to you. I am sorry for your loss and my heart is heavy along with you as you deal with the pain.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
This week is the nineteenth anniversary of when I lost my Mom. It was a Monday night and I had stopped in to have dinner with my folks. As I was getting ready to leave and head home for the night (I remember it very clearly, just as if it were yesterday), I told her, “Mom, I love you.” I then hugged her and walked out the door. I had no idea this would be the last time I would get to see or talk to my Mom.
Death is never an easy thing to deal with. The loss we feel of losing someone we love hurts us to the core. To some, it paralyzes them, making any task or chore near impossible. I have even heard stories of people who not only became paralyzed from the loss they felt initially, but were never fully able to recover. That deep, hard-hitting sense of “why” and “disbelief” are very real and very powerful and can leave a sting that dwells within for years and even decades.
The twenty-two years I had with my Mom will always hold a special place in my life. I feel blessed that I was close with her, that we always communicated, hugged and loved often. The biggest thing I am grateful for is not necessarily that we were close, but that I have no regrets of the time I had with her. I am able to look at her picture on the wall, smile and know there is nothing I wish we would have done differently. We loved, laughed and lived life as much as a mother and son could have.
I do however, like many people, wish that she could have been able to see, hold and play with her granddaughters. In fact, there is not a day goes by that I do not wish this had happened. I am sure many of you reading this have had your own similar situation. The feeling that you were “cheated out of time” with them is fairly common. I know I have felt like this many times. Is this redundant because you already said “not a day goes by”?
Through the loss of my Mom, I learned that not only is life too short, it is very precious and fragile. We are not given a guarantee for tomorrow, we can only hope and believe it will come. We cannot control when it is our time or the time of someone we love. What we can control is making the most of the time we have with them in our lives. Take today and make being with them a priority. In fact, put them at the top of your list. Don’t wait for next month, next year or until the next convenient day. Today is a gift. Use today to tell and show them you care about them. That way, you will never have to say, “I wish we could have...”
In the last days of a person’s life, I have never heard anyone say, ”You know, I just wish I would have put in a few more hours at the office rather than with my family.”
To all of you who have lost someone close to you, this Friday’s Thought is dedicated to you. I am sorry for your loss and my heart is heavy along with you as you deal with the pain.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
Friday, July 30, 2010
A new way of thinking
The other day I was reminiscing about a fun past time I used to take part in. In my early twenties, some friends and I would take our four wheel drive trucks and head for the mountains. We would then find some old logging roads and trails to drive on and go do a little exploring. Combine that with a little skeet shooting throughout the day and all of us would have a great time! Sometimes, we would find ourselves on dirt / mud roads and our four wheel drive would be a must.
I recall back to a certain time when our small group came across a steep muddy. Several of us tried to climb the hill but had very little luck because it was just to slick. After about fifteen minutes or so, I noticed a friend of mine was letting some of the air out of his tires on his Ford Bronco. As several of us witnessed this, we began to laugh at him asking him why he was letting the air out of his tires? He said he was flattening his tires. He took our criticism well and just told us to watch him.
Minutes later, we were in shock and awe as he was the only one able to climb that steep muddy hill and, he did it with ease! I have to admit, I was in a bit of disbelief. There was no way he could have just done that... he made it look easy! Several of us tried the hill again but still could not get up it. In our way of thinking and what we knew to be true, simply letting some of the air out of your tires could not make that much difference.
Even though a handful of us witnessed this, we still could not believe it. Primarily (looking back on it) because it did not line up with what we believed to be true. We had never tried this, nor had we ever heard of it. To the majority of us, this just could not be true. Quite the opposite though… this was in fact a great way to get more traction, we had just never known it.
Today, as I look around our society, I see many people who hold the same old belief day in and day out. They are going by what they have always known and continue to do things the way they have always done them. Truth be known, often times, there is a better way out there but very few people are open minded enough to entertain a new idea. This was me back then. I thought I knew the best way. In my mind I had all the answers, so why consider knew ones? After all, my parents always did things the same way over and over again. So I was just going off of what my parents taught me.
Aside from principles, morals, values and ethics, a new way of thinking or doing things is not very far out of reach. In fact, often it is lurking just around the corner. Being willing to listen, consider or entertain a new way of thinking can very well be the seed towards living a more fulfilling life. It is those old ways of thinking that like to hold us captive and keep us from a higher level of understanding. If you and I can allow ourselves to listen more and resist less, we might just find that we don’t have all the answers.
Like the old saying goes: “Your mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is open” could very well be the gateway to getting more of the things we want in life and I personally, believe that having an open mind is the best way to go through this life. Then, let your gut feeling or your discernment be your guide to what you should believe.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
I recall back to a certain time when our small group came across a steep muddy. Several of us tried to climb the hill but had very little luck because it was just to slick. After about fifteen minutes or so, I noticed a friend of mine was letting some of the air out of his tires on his Ford Bronco. As several of us witnessed this, we began to laugh at him asking him why he was letting the air out of his tires? He said he was flattening his tires. He took our criticism well and just told us to watch him.
Minutes later, we were in shock and awe as he was the only one able to climb that steep muddy hill and, he did it with ease! I have to admit, I was in a bit of disbelief. There was no way he could have just done that... he made it look easy! Several of us tried the hill again but still could not get up it. In our way of thinking and what we knew to be true, simply letting some of the air out of your tires could not make that much difference.
Even though a handful of us witnessed this, we still could not believe it. Primarily (looking back on it) because it did not line up with what we believed to be true. We had never tried this, nor had we ever heard of it. To the majority of us, this just could not be true. Quite the opposite though… this was in fact a great way to get more traction, we had just never known it.
Today, as I look around our society, I see many people who hold the same old belief day in and day out. They are going by what they have always known and continue to do things the way they have always done them. Truth be known, often times, there is a better way out there but very few people are open minded enough to entertain a new idea. This was me back then. I thought I knew the best way. In my mind I had all the answers, so why consider knew ones? After all, my parents always did things the same way over and over again. So I was just going off of what my parents taught me.
Aside from principles, morals, values and ethics, a new way of thinking or doing things is not very far out of reach. In fact, often it is lurking just around the corner. Being willing to listen, consider or entertain a new way of thinking can very well be the seed towards living a more fulfilling life. It is those old ways of thinking that like to hold us captive and keep us from a higher level of understanding. If you and I can allow ourselves to listen more and resist less, we might just find that we don’t have all the answers.
Like the old saying goes: “Your mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is open” could very well be the gateway to getting more of the things we want in life and I personally, believe that having an open mind is the best way to go through this life. Then, let your gut feeling or your discernment be your guide to what you should believe.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
Friday, July 16, 2010
Kids and Gifts
The more I watch my daughters with what they say, how they act and how
they respond to others, the more I realize how much I am blessed. Just
watching kids be themselves and interact with other kids and adults can
say a lot about them. Currently, my oldest is seven and my youngest is
four. Both are obviously at different places of learning and interaction but
there is one thing that just touches my heart that they both do at this stage
of their young lives and that is, what and how they give gifts to those they
care about.
Children this age are so pure and innocent. They do not understand this
big old world could very well one day beat them up and spit them out.
Because of this, their actions and thoughts mostly follow the same way. I
am not counting sibling influence here or the influence of other kids but
they really do not know yet about materialism or what money can do. (Last
year, though, I did start teaching my oldest about money.)
As adults, we tend to give gifts to our spouses or family members that
usually cost money. Of course this is not a bad thing. This is the way of
our society. Kids, who do not yet understand about our society and how it
works, use their natural God-given abilities - their hearts and imagination.
My girls can create the most amazing homemade cards for my wife and
me. The time they spend on them, the colors, their imagination, the way
they think and see us as a family. All of these things they use to draw on
an "I love you card." Anyone who has or has had young kids understands
what I am talking about.
They just know how to make you smile with these
kinds of gifts. I have to admit, after receiving several of these, I did find
myself becoming a bit numb and almost irritated. But I think the main thing
we have to remember here is that this is the most pure, heartfelt gift a child
could give! There is no ulterior motive behind the gift and it is simply
because they want to. I believe little things like this are also a way in which
God reminds us not all gifts need to be big and expensive. Even the
smallest things sent from the heart, can have the most meaning in showing
someone how we feel about them. Grandmas and Grandpas also know
what I am talking about here when they receive these gifts.
Yes I know eventually, we as parents will have boxes full of things that our
kids have made for us. I am one of those parents. I also know those items
my daughters share with me or make and give to me show they love me
and they are happy. Kids don't always know how to voice how they feel,
that is something they have to learn along the way. But to make something
from scratch and give it as a gift could very well be the highest form of
showing love.
Have a great Friday everyone and an even better weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
they respond to others, the more I realize how much I am blessed. Just
watching kids be themselves and interact with other kids and adults can
say a lot about them. Currently, my oldest is seven and my youngest is
four. Both are obviously at different places of learning and interaction but
there is one thing that just touches my heart that they both do at this stage
of their young lives and that is, what and how they give gifts to those they
care about.
Children this age are so pure and innocent. They do not understand this
big old world could very well one day beat them up and spit them out.
Because of this, their actions and thoughts mostly follow the same way. I
am not counting sibling influence here or the influence of other kids but
they really do not know yet about materialism or what money can do. (Last
year, though, I did start teaching my oldest about money.)
As adults, we tend to give gifts to our spouses or family members that
usually cost money. Of course this is not a bad thing. This is the way of
our society. Kids, who do not yet understand about our society and how it
works, use their natural God-given abilities - their hearts and imagination.
My girls can create the most amazing homemade cards for my wife and
me. The time they spend on them, the colors, their imagination, the way
they think and see us as a family. All of these things they use to draw on
an "I love you card." Anyone who has or has had young kids understands
what I am talking about.
They just know how to make you smile with these
kinds of gifts. I have to admit, after receiving several of these, I did find
myself becoming a bit numb and almost irritated. But I think the main thing
we have to remember here is that this is the most pure, heartfelt gift a child
could give! There is no ulterior motive behind the gift and it is simply
because they want to. I believe little things like this are also a way in which
God reminds us not all gifts need to be big and expensive. Even the
smallest things sent from the heart, can have the most meaning in showing
someone how we feel about them. Grandmas and Grandpas also know
what I am talking about here when they receive these gifts.
Yes I know eventually, we as parents will have boxes full of things that our
kids have made for us. I am one of those parents. I also know those items
my daughters share with me or make and give to me show they love me
and they are happy. Kids don't always know how to voice how they feel,
that is something they have to learn along the way. But to make something
from scratch and give it as a gift could very well be the highest form of
showing love.
Have a great Friday everyone and an even better weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Friday, June 25, 2010
Preparing our kids
Late last fall on a Saturday afternoon, I heard knocking at my door. I was the only one home at the time so I sat down the magazine I was reading, walked to the door and opened it. To my surprise, there was a young girl standing there whom I had never seen before. At first, I thought maybe it was one of my eldest daughter’s new friends from school. I soon realized this was not the case. Before I could ask her name or how I could help her, the little girl began to tell me she was on a mission to help her school and she had some books for me to look at to purchase.
I wasn't surprised by her request and what it was she was doing. What caught me off guard was how good this young girl was at talking. She was positive, cheerful, clear, precise and confident. She looked me in the eye the entire time, never showing fear or that she was even the least bit nervous. Not even once! I am telling you, not only did she put the Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman to shame, he could learn a few things from this young girl!
I was impressed and also in awe of her sales skills at such an early age. I was a stranger and she never even flinched! After about 30-45 seconds of standing on my front porch and listening to her trying to gain my confidence, I had to stop her. I then asked her name and how old she was. She told me her name and said she was 9 years old! I said, "Nine years old? Where did you learn how to talk like that and be such a good salesman?" Her only answer was this, "My Dad says I am the entrepreneur in the family and I am going to own my own business one day." Not only was I still in a bit of shock, I was smiling inside to see such a confident young girl trying to sell me something. She made it look all so easy.
She was amazing! Shortly after she left, I began to think: How did she get like that? How was it she carried herself with so much maturity and self esteem? It is also easy to believe she has some natural God given talents and when you combine that with parents who encourage and support her ...look out!
I have learned over the last several years that kids rarely ever lack capacity, what they lack are teachers. Kids can learn things far easier than most adults. At times they even hunger for knowledge, if we will just take the time to give it to them. I have no doubt someone has spent time with this young girl who visited me and taught her skills in dealing with people. Every week I try to teach my daughters something new and introduce them to something they were not aware of. Why? I want them to grow, I want them to learn, and I want them to stretch. Kids will be far more equipped and ready to deal with the various curve ball's life tends to throw out us if we will only prep, support and invest our time into them.
Are you preparing your kids? Are you spending the time with them that they need? Do you encourage them to excel? Kids love praise and in most cases, will put forth a lot of energy to get it, especially from a parent. Not every seed we plant within our kids will reap a harvest. Scriptures tell us that. But what you and I have to do is plant enough seeds where there will be a harvest down the road and the harvest bears fruit, giving our kids the necessary tools they need to be a success in life. Raising and parenting a child to be an entrepreneur is not for everyone, I understand that. Yet what are you doing today to give your kids the essential tools they need, to be who God created them to be?
Have a great Friday everyone and may you be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
I wasn't surprised by her request and what it was she was doing. What caught me off guard was how good this young girl was at talking. She was positive, cheerful, clear, precise and confident. She looked me in the eye the entire time, never showing fear or that she was even the least bit nervous. Not even once! I am telling you, not only did she put the Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman to shame, he could learn a few things from this young girl!
I was impressed and also in awe of her sales skills at such an early age. I was a stranger and she never even flinched! After about 30-45 seconds of standing on my front porch and listening to her trying to gain my confidence, I had to stop her. I then asked her name and how old she was. She told me her name and said she was 9 years old! I said, "Nine years old? Where did you learn how to talk like that and be such a good salesman?" Her only answer was this, "My Dad says I am the entrepreneur in the family and I am going to own my own business one day." Not only was I still in a bit of shock, I was smiling inside to see such a confident young girl trying to sell me something. She made it look all so easy.
She was amazing! Shortly after she left, I began to think: How did she get like that? How was it she carried herself with so much maturity and self esteem? It is also easy to believe she has some natural God given talents and when you combine that with parents who encourage and support her ...look out!
I have learned over the last several years that kids rarely ever lack capacity, what they lack are teachers. Kids can learn things far easier than most adults. At times they even hunger for knowledge, if we will just take the time to give it to them. I have no doubt someone has spent time with this young girl who visited me and taught her skills in dealing with people. Every week I try to teach my daughters something new and introduce them to something they were not aware of. Why? I want them to grow, I want them to learn, and I want them to stretch. Kids will be far more equipped and ready to deal with the various curve ball's life tends to throw out us if we will only prep, support and invest our time into them.
Are you preparing your kids? Are you spending the time with them that they need? Do you encourage them to excel? Kids love praise and in most cases, will put forth a lot of energy to get it, especially from a parent. Not every seed we plant within our kids will reap a harvest. Scriptures tell us that. But what you and I have to do is plant enough seeds where there will be a harvest down the road and the harvest bears fruit, giving our kids the necessary tools they need to be a success in life. Raising and parenting a child to be an entrepreneur is not for everyone, I understand that. Yet what are you doing today to give your kids the essential tools they need, to be who God created them to be?
Have a great Friday everyone and may you be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Lessons Learned
I always find it interesting and helpful to look back at my life and reflect at what went well and what didn’t go so well. I believe our past mistakes or setbacks can be one of the very best tools we can use in moving forward in our lives. After all, you have to admit, lives do have a way of “educating us” along the way.
I will be the first person to admit I have not always made the best choices, but I will say those choices have helped to mold and shape not only the person I am today, but the person I am becoming. For over ten years now, I have shared the following quote with probably several hundred people: “We are given a lesson over and over again until we finally learn that lesson.” Why? Because I think this is something of which we all need to be aware. It is true we will continue to be given lessons over and over again until we think differently or change our actions and learn from them. For me, some lessons I learned very quickly, others not so much. It seemed I had to continue beating my head against the wall until not only did it hurt, but a lot of damage was done.
As I counsel, coach and inspire people to live healthier, more effective and meaningful lives, I am consistently amazed at how many people struggle to acknowledge this principal. Time and time again, they continue to repeat those self-destructive thoughts and actions that always seem to yield results they do not want. Over and over again, year after year, I see it all unfold right in front of them, yet they cannot seem to see it. I must say, not only is it disheartening to me, it is expresses the great definition of being insane: Doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results.
If you and I are ever going to grow, leave poor choices of the past behind us and attract things in life that our hearts truly want, we must be able to not only learn from but grow from our past. What are the most important steps in doing this? First, we have to “want” to. Many years ago I had a mentor repeat the following words: “Scott… You just gotta wanna.” Secondly, reflect back and accept responsibility for the life you’ve lived. No one other person is in charge or is responsible for your life, it’s your responsibility. Last, tell yourself daily you are no longer going to make those bad choices you “used” to make and look for ways to make better choices today and tomorrow.
If you will make a commitment to do these things because “YOU” want to, I assure you, your life will start to look different and feel different almost immediately. Six months to a year from now, you will have transformed your life, all because you made a decision today to change just a few simple things.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
I will be the first person to admit I have not always made the best choices, but I will say those choices have helped to mold and shape not only the person I am today, but the person I am becoming. For over ten years now, I have shared the following quote with probably several hundred people: “We are given a lesson over and over again until we finally learn that lesson.” Why? Because I think this is something of which we all need to be aware. It is true we will continue to be given lessons over and over again until we think differently or change our actions and learn from them. For me, some lessons I learned very quickly, others not so much. It seemed I had to continue beating my head against the wall until not only did it hurt, but a lot of damage was done.
As I counsel, coach and inspire people to live healthier, more effective and meaningful lives, I am consistently amazed at how many people struggle to acknowledge this principal. Time and time again, they continue to repeat those self-destructive thoughts and actions that always seem to yield results they do not want. Over and over again, year after year, I see it all unfold right in front of them, yet they cannot seem to see it. I must say, not only is it disheartening to me, it is expresses the great definition of being insane: Doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results.
If you and I are ever going to grow, leave poor choices of the past behind us and attract things in life that our hearts truly want, we must be able to not only learn from but grow from our past. What are the most important steps in doing this? First, we have to “want” to. Many years ago I had a mentor repeat the following words: “Scott… You just gotta wanna.” Secondly, reflect back and accept responsibility for the life you’ve lived. No one other person is in charge or is responsible for your life, it’s your responsibility. Last, tell yourself daily you are no longer going to make those bad choices you “used” to make and look for ways to make better choices today and tomorrow.
If you will make a commitment to do these things because “YOU” want to, I assure you, your life will start to look different and feel different almost immediately. Six months to a year from now, you will have transformed your life, all because you made a decision today to change just a few simple things.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
Friday, June 11, 2010
What has Happened to Accountability
For some time now, I have felt the need to talk about a social topic that rarely ever gets mentioned. Something that our society just seems to ignore or be very passive about. Rarely do I even hear leaders mention much about this and truth be told, it concerns me. We have all heard of the analogy of the "Pink Elephant in the Corner." We all know it is there but no one wants to talk about it.
What I am getting at is: When was the last time you actually heard someone stand up, take responsibility and admit they were wrong or they made a mistake? You know, a personal (or public if needed) acknowledgment of making a bad choice. Why is it that so many people these days seem to "dodge that bullet" at whatever cost they can? What happened to taking responsibility and just admitting you made a mistake? Is that really so hard to do anymore? Is this traditional way of thinking on its way out the door? Worse yet, what message and example are we sending to our kids by acting like this?
From big corporations, Wall Street, government and all the way down to our local communities, trying to push blame onto someone else seems to run rampant these days. Why? I suspect that due to a lack of self responsibility and accountability, it just seems easier to "pass the buck" when in fact, I believe, just the opposite. Yes, personally, I do think trying to avoid responsibility for our actions does have far greater consequences and impact than just taking the bitter medicine of admitting and accepting.
I admit I have made poor choices in my life (I bet you are shocked to hear that, right?). I have not done things the best way I could. There are things I wish I could go back and change, but I can't. History is set in stone, not in the sand! But when I needed to, I acknowledged, admitted and asked for forgiveness. Yeah, there were probably more times I did this than I want to recall. Why? Because in my heart, I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew if I didn't "come clean" I would carry it around with me for the rest of my life. That burden, was simply not worth carrying. We are only human, we all make mistakes and we all make poor choices from time to time. Hopefully though, after realizing we made a poor choice, we learned enough from it that we won't repeat it. Seriously, why would anyone want to carry the lie and dishonesty around with them for the rest of their life? Is it really worth it? I say no!
I have never sat at the head of a multibillion dollar organization and no, I have never had to answer to shareholders staring me in the face. But trust me, I have been put in the pressure cooker a few times and it is NOT fun. The principals of accepting responsibility and being accountable are all equal, regardless of your "status". You are either accountable or you are not, there is no room for middle ground. I know in my own life, I have been given a lot of grace from many people, even when the outcome was very damaging. I think deep down, most of us have grace to give at all levels but they first want to hear the person or group of people admit they were wrong, then have them take responsibility. It also helps if the person has a "back up plan" to remedy the situation rather then call it quits. Then, when that level of accountability is reached, grace can be released.
In this era, I can see by owning up to our faults rather than pushing them off on someone else, is the right thing to do and it is the right way to raise our kids. It is also the right way to run a business, or organization and to lead people. I don't believe any one person expects you and I to be perfect, but they do expect us to be responsible.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
What I am getting at is: When was the last time you actually heard someone stand up, take responsibility and admit they were wrong or they made a mistake? You know, a personal (or public if needed) acknowledgment of making a bad choice. Why is it that so many people these days seem to "dodge that bullet" at whatever cost they can? What happened to taking responsibility and just admitting you made a mistake? Is that really so hard to do anymore? Is this traditional way of thinking on its way out the door? Worse yet, what message and example are we sending to our kids by acting like this?
From big corporations, Wall Street, government and all the way down to our local communities, trying to push blame onto someone else seems to run rampant these days. Why? I suspect that due to a lack of self responsibility and accountability, it just seems easier to "pass the buck" when in fact, I believe, just the opposite. Yes, personally, I do think trying to avoid responsibility for our actions does have far greater consequences and impact than just taking the bitter medicine of admitting and accepting.
I admit I have made poor choices in my life (I bet you are shocked to hear that, right?). I have not done things the best way I could. There are things I wish I could go back and change, but I can't. History is set in stone, not in the sand! But when I needed to, I acknowledged, admitted and asked for forgiveness. Yeah, there were probably more times I did this than I want to recall. Why? Because in my heart, I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew if I didn't "come clean" I would carry it around with me for the rest of my life. That burden, was simply not worth carrying. We are only human, we all make mistakes and we all make poor choices from time to time. Hopefully though, after realizing we made a poor choice, we learned enough from it that we won't repeat it. Seriously, why would anyone want to carry the lie and dishonesty around with them for the rest of their life? Is it really worth it? I say no!
I have never sat at the head of a multibillion dollar organization and no, I have never had to answer to shareholders staring me in the face. But trust me, I have been put in the pressure cooker a few times and it is NOT fun. The principals of accepting responsibility and being accountable are all equal, regardless of your "status". You are either accountable or you are not, there is no room for middle ground. I know in my own life, I have been given a lot of grace from many people, even when the outcome was very damaging. I think deep down, most of us have grace to give at all levels but they first want to hear the person or group of people admit they were wrong, then have them take responsibility. It also helps if the person has a "back up plan" to remedy the situation rather then call it quits. Then, when that level of accountability is reached, grace can be released.
In this era, I can see by owning up to our faults rather than pushing them off on someone else, is the right thing to do and it is the right way to raise our kids. It is also the right way to run a business, or organization and to lead people. I don't believe any one person expects you and I to be perfect, but they do expect us to be responsible.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Are you using the gifts you have been given?
From time to time, I will be reading a book or listening to a CD and have one of those "ah ha" moments. I like to describe it as a time where all of a sudden, things start to make sense. Things that used to be kind of foggy in my mind, now come together. Ah ha moments always seem to happen at just the right time in our lives. These special awakenings seem to be there just when we need them. This time, it came to me through a book I was reading.
The book was an overview of the various gifts we as individuals possess. It said that in one form or another, all of us possess a minimum of one or several of the following gifts: hospitality, creativity, craftsmanship, discernment, effective communication, wisdom, influence, management, healing, humor, clerical and even entrepreneurship. The gift of motherhood, fatherhood and friendship are a part as well. These, to some degree, on some level, we carry within us. This is just one thing that makes us all unique and different.
Looking back on my own life, in my twenties and thirties, my life was full of things; jobs and activities that did not utilize my gifts. Today, I understand why I never felt my life had much meaning. I had not yet "awakened" those gifts. It was almost like they were sitting on a shelf waiting for me to take them down, dust them off and put them to work doing what they were supposed to do.
I know many people, every day, throughout our cities and our towns, are looking for their spot in life of where they belong or where they fit. What are they supposed to do? How do they make a living doing it and how can they find it? I will tell you this: One of the first key steps to finding your "lot" in this life is to search where your gifts are. What is it that you are talented at? The scriptures tell us if we will search, we will find. I believe discovering what you are good at is a great first step in getting there. Chances are what you are good at you will usually enjoy doing and that is a huge bonus.
Although I did not learn until almost twelve years ago what my own gifts were, I was not sure how to use or apply them. After much seeking, I made a discovery. The gift of encouragement is something which gives me energy when I share it. It lifts me up and gives me strength. It can take my mind off a negative situation and I become fulfilled when I share it. But that's how gifts are supposed to work. They are part of your core. When you use your gifts, you are helping to fulfill your life's work. If you know what your gifts are, use them to the fullest. Don't put them on a shelf and become covered in dust like I did. There are people waiting for your gift because it is from only you that they can be touched. If you will actively seek out this part of your life, I assure you, fulfillment in your life, job or career is heading your way.
Have a great Friday and an even better Memorial Weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
The book was an overview of the various gifts we as individuals possess. It said that in one form or another, all of us possess a minimum of one or several of the following gifts: hospitality, creativity, craftsmanship, discernment, effective communication, wisdom, influence, management, healing, humor, clerical and even entrepreneurship. The gift of motherhood, fatherhood and friendship are a part as well. These, to some degree, on some level, we carry within us. This is just one thing that makes us all unique and different.
Looking back on my own life, in my twenties and thirties, my life was full of things; jobs and activities that did not utilize my gifts. Today, I understand why I never felt my life had much meaning. I had not yet "awakened" those gifts. It was almost like they were sitting on a shelf waiting for me to take them down, dust them off and put them to work doing what they were supposed to do.
I know many people, every day, throughout our cities and our towns, are looking for their spot in life of where they belong or where they fit. What are they supposed to do? How do they make a living doing it and how can they find it? I will tell you this: One of the first key steps to finding your "lot" in this life is to search where your gifts are. What is it that you are talented at? The scriptures tell us if we will search, we will find. I believe discovering what you are good at is a great first step in getting there. Chances are what you are good at you will usually enjoy doing and that is a huge bonus.
Although I did not learn until almost twelve years ago what my own gifts were, I was not sure how to use or apply them. After much seeking, I made a discovery. The gift of encouragement is something which gives me energy when I share it. It lifts me up and gives me strength. It can take my mind off a negative situation and I become fulfilled when I share it. But that's how gifts are supposed to work. They are part of your core. When you use your gifts, you are helping to fulfill your life's work. If you know what your gifts are, use them to the fullest. Don't put them on a shelf and become covered in dust like I did. There are people waiting for your gift because it is from only you that they can be touched. If you will actively seek out this part of your life, I assure you, fulfillment in your life, job or career is heading your way.
Have a great Friday and an even better Memorial Weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Kids: Amazing Aren't They?
There is no doubt that kids are just amazing. The things they do and say continue to amaze me over and over again. The creative ability of a young child is something adults can learn a lot from. How they ask for things, how they present us (their parents) with options rather than just a yes or no question. You have to admit, they are pretty good at asking for what they want. But they can also not fully comprehend the power of the words they say.
I have two daughters and the youngest one is three years old. From time to time, I will challenge her to do something she never has done before, like riding her bicycle (with training wheels of course) in the grass or through a patch of gravel. Something that will not hurt her but will challenge her. When I do this, often her response to me is, "But I can't." Which I always reply in a stern voice, "Don't tell me you can't, tell me you can."
My kids, like everyone else's, don't always do what they are supposed to do. They don't always listen and even once in a while, they will test their boundaries with me. All of these things I can handle, accept and deal with in the right manner but hearing my child say "I can't" strikes a nerve within me that makes me cringe! “Don't tell me you can't, tell me you can” is something I think more kids need to hear on a regular basis. Why? Because I believe kids can and do grow up to do great things if they believe they can. Hearing positive reinforcement and encouraging words from their parents may very well be one of the best things we can give them.
Our subconscious mind does not know the difference between "I can't” and “I can." It just knows whatever it hears, over and over again, is what it accepts as truth. The words we speak into our children of all ages, is nothing more than programming. This goes into their memory or subconscious mind so that in their future, they will have a "guide" to go by, helping them make choices and decisions as they go through life. The stories of young kids, some even as young as seven or eight years old, accomplishing extraordinary tasks, all started with a parent, a teacher, a mentor and/or even a friend telling them "you can do it" early on in their life. It all started with what they heard.
I have never met a parent who did not want their kids to have a better life than they did. One of the best ways to help them have a better life is to speak the right words into them. I don't need my kids to be the next Albert Einstein or even be a winner on American Idol. Ultimately, that decision is between them and God. But I do want them to be confident and secure enough in who they are and their belief in themselves. Then they can have, earn and achieve anything in this world their hearts desire.
Speak life and encouragement into your kids. Down the road you will be glad you did.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
I have two daughters and the youngest one is three years old. From time to time, I will challenge her to do something she never has done before, like riding her bicycle (with training wheels of course) in the grass or through a patch of gravel. Something that will not hurt her but will challenge her. When I do this, often her response to me is, "But I can't." Which I always reply in a stern voice, "Don't tell me you can't, tell me you can."
My kids, like everyone else's, don't always do what they are supposed to do. They don't always listen and even once in a while, they will test their boundaries with me. All of these things I can handle, accept and deal with in the right manner but hearing my child say "I can't" strikes a nerve within me that makes me cringe! “Don't tell me you can't, tell me you can” is something I think more kids need to hear on a regular basis. Why? Because I believe kids can and do grow up to do great things if they believe they can. Hearing positive reinforcement and encouraging words from their parents may very well be one of the best things we can give them.
Our subconscious mind does not know the difference between "I can't” and “I can." It just knows whatever it hears, over and over again, is what it accepts as truth. The words we speak into our children of all ages, is nothing more than programming. This goes into their memory or subconscious mind so that in their future, they will have a "guide" to go by, helping them make choices and decisions as they go through life. The stories of young kids, some even as young as seven or eight years old, accomplishing extraordinary tasks, all started with a parent, a teacher, a mentor and/or even a friend telling them "you can do it" early on in their life. It all started with what they heard.
I have never met a parent who did not want their kids to have a better life than they did. One of the best ways to help them have a better life is to speak the right words into them. I don't need my kids to be the next Albert Einstein or even be a winner on American Idol. Ultimately, that decision is between them and God. But I do want them to be confident and secure enough in who they are and their belief in themselves. Then they can have, earn and achieve anything in this world their hearts desire.
Speak life and encouragement into your kids. Down the road you will be glad you did.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Loosing Someone we Love
Funerals are never easy to attend. Some of us will even go out of our way to avoid them. I think the harsh reality of losing someone who was once a part of our life, can hurt enough that it is easier to avoid attending the event. We do this, certainly not out of disrespect, but from trying to avoid our own pain it will cause us.
I personally do not try to avoid them but I have to say, I recently did attend a funeral service that was very difficult attend. A friend of mine, only four years older then I, finally lost his battle with cancer. This friend was an inspiration to me and many others. Despite how he felt, he always seemed to find the positive in most every situation, regardless of how "ugly" it was. During those five short years I spent with him, not once did I ever hear him say anything derogatory about another person. We had many lunches together, hundreds of laughs and we even shared some tears together. The stories he told me will forever hold a spot in my memory bank, and when I think of them I will smile and maybe even chuckle.
Death is just one of those things that I don't think we are ever really "ready" for. When a friend, family member, spouse or even a co-worker passes on, we are left with a void inside. It can't be explained very well, but it hurts and we question "why" this had to happen.
When I was twenty two, in a tragic event, I lost my Mom. I remember hurting and hurting until I didn't think I could go on. I cried out to God and over and over again asked him why this happened.
Losing loved ones to death hurts us to the core and can be so tragic. While we are here in this life, the reality is, we may never know why things had to happen like they did. Maybe losing a loved one before we felt they should have gone, and in our heart believing it was not their time, nor was it fair. My friend left behind young daughters and a beautiful wife, not to mention tons of friends. I think it would only be normal to ask: How is this fair?
I don't have any "magical" answers to why things work out like they do, all I can do is come back to the fact that a very long time ago God gave us something called "free will". Although this was one of His greatest gifts to His children, it also came with ramifications for our actions. Even this can be hard to grasp in a time of mourning. Myself and nearly everyone else who has lost someone they loved has had to learn to go on with their life and search for the answers which will bring about some kind of closure.
For me, I am giving thanks for the times I had with my friend and Mother, I will always treasure them. I encourage you to do the same. Make every day count. Spend time laughing and doing things that bring you happiness. I heard it best said several years ago: Death can be viewed a lot like a huge raffle drawing. The chances of you actually having your number called are very, very slim but when it is called, you can't simply draw another number, your number is up.
Have a great Friday everyone and make sure to thank a service man or woman this weekend in honor of Armed Services Day.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
I personally do not try to avoid them but I have to say, I recently did attend a funeral service that was very difficult attend. A friend of mine, only four years older then I, finally lost his battle with cancer. This friend was an inspiration to me and many others. Despite how he felt, he always seemed to find the positive in most every situation, regardless of how "ugly" it was. During those five short years I spent with him, not once did I ever hear him say anything derogatory about another person. We had many lunches together, hundreds of laughs and we even shared some tears together. The stories he told me will forever hold a spot in my memory bank, and when I think of them I will smile and maybe even chuckle.
Death is just one of those things that I don't think we are ever really "ready" for. When a friend, family member, spouse or even a co-worker passes on, we are left with a void inside. It can't be explained very well, but it hurts and we question "why" this had to happen.
When I was twenty two, in a tragic event, I lost my Mom. I remember hurting and hurting until I didn't think I could go on. I cried out to God and over and over again asked him why this happened.
Losing loved ones to death hurts us to the core and can be so tragic. While we are here in this life, the reality is, we may never know why things had to happen like they did. Maybe losing a loved one before we felt they should have gone, and in our heart believing it was not their time, nor was it fair. My friend left behind young daughters and a beautiful wife, not to mention tons of friends. I think it would only be normal to ask: How is this fair?
I don't have any "magical" answers to why things work out like they do, all I can do is come back to the fact that a very long time ago God gave us something called "free will". Although this was one of His greatest gifts to His children, it also came with ramifications for our actions. Even this can be hard to grasp in a time of mourning. Myself and nearly everyone else who has lost someone they loved has had to learn to go on with their life and search for the answers which will bring about some kind of closure.
For me, I am giving thanks for the times I had with my friend and Mother, I will always treasure them. I encourage you to do the same. Make every day count. Spend time laughing and doing things that bring you happiness. I heard it best said several years ago: Death can be viewed a lot like a huge raffle drawing. The chances of you actually having your number called are very, very slim but when it is called, you can't simply draw another number, your number is up.
Have a great Friday everyone and make sure to thank a service man or woman this weekend in honor of Armed Services Day.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Friday, April 30, 2010
What we believe
I grew up outside of a small town and across the street from a golf course. It was kind of a nice view, even though it was probably a hundred yards or so out past our front window. All year long, we would always see people golfing. If it was raining, they just simply put on their raincoats, opened up their umbrellas, and went on with their game. Rarely did anything ever slow them down. From as far back as I can remember, when it would rain, I recall my dad looking out our window at the golfers and saying, “Look at those crazy golfers! They would have to be nuts to be out there in the rain like that.” Then, some time as a teenager, it hit me one day. Why was it that my dad would always say how crazy the golfers were to be out in the rain but he would never even think twice about spending the day on the river, or at a lake fishing while it poured down rain all day?
Even today, it amazes me just how much of our parent’s beliefs and attitudes we have adopted as our own. You see, truth be told, they are not really our own, most times we have never taken the time to process things like this for ourselves. We just heard it when we were younger from someone we respected and looked up to and our minds put him or her into our belief system as true. Then later, down the road of life, we would retrieve that particular belief from our memory when engaged in a conversation. In this case, for me when I was a boy, it was that anyone who golfed in the rain had to be crazy. However, is that true? Are all golfers who golf in the rain crazy? Based on your beliefs, right now, you have already answered that question.
Of course, there are those foundational beliefs that our parents give us: morals, values, love, respect, ethics, belief in God and honesty. I believe these are all key components to a fulfilling life but you have to ask yourself where you think most racist beliefs come from. Is it inherited, passed down from generation to generation or does it come from personal experience? One person believes that those who live up on the hill are lucky and good fortune has favored them while others believe that luck is non-existent and hard work, along with the successful thinking and habits will get them what they want in life. Which one is right? As you read this, based on your beliefs, you have already answered this question for yourself.
You and I need to be aware of what it is that we believe and why that is. Are those mindsets we carry with us our own or are they simply something we picked up from someone along the way? Beliefs control a large part of what it is that we do and how we act. Therefore, our actions will produce a result and perhaps one of the biggest questions you will need to answer for yourself, is this: Are my beliefs producing the kind of results that I want for my life? If the answer is a no, then I encourage you to take a long hard look at why it is you believe what you do.
Have a great Friday everyone and an even better weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Even today, it amazes me just how much of our parent’s beliefs and attitudes we have adopted as our own. You see, truth be told, they are not really our own, most times we have never taken the time to process things like this for ourselves. We just heard it when we were younger from someone we respected and looked up to and our minds put him or her into our belief system as true. Then later, down the road of life, we would retrieve that particular belief from our memory when engaged in a conversation. In this case, for me when I was a boy, it was that anyone who golfed in the rain had to be crazy. However, is that true? Are all golfers who golf in the rain crazy? Based on your beliefs, right now, you have already answered that question.
Of course, there are those foundational beliefs that our parents give us: morals, values, love, respect, ethics, belief in God and honesty. I believe these are all key components to a fulfilling life but you have to ask yourself where you think most racist beliefs come from. Is it inherited, passed down from generation to generation or does it come from personal experience? One person believes that those who live up on the hill are lucky and good fortune has favored them while others believe that luck is non-existent and hard work, along with the successful thinking and habits will get them what they want in life. Which one is right? As you read this, based on your beliefs, you have already answered this question for yourself.
You and I need to be aware of what it is that we believe and why that is. Are those mindsets we carry with us our own or are they simply something we picked up from someone along the way? Beliefs control a large part of what it is that we do and how we act. Therefore, our actions will produce a result and perhaps one of the biggest questions you will need to answer for yourself, is this: Are my beliefs producing the kind of results that I want for my life? If the answer is a no, then I encourage you to take a long hard look at why it is you believe what you do.
Have a great Friday everyone and an even better weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Thursday, April 22, 2010
It is who we become that counts the most.
A while ago, I made a personal decision to focus more on who I was becoming rather then what I was getting. Simply put, it is not the getting that makes us valuable but rather the becoming. The person we become will determine where we will be and what we will do with our life.
The other day I was reading in the New Testament about Judas. Now if you don’t know who Judas is, the scriptures tell us that he was one of the chosen twelve disciples that followed Jesus. I had probably read this story a handful of times prior but it was not until this last time that I actually “got it” and wow did it ever hit me!
Scriptures tell us that Jesus’ ministry grew and became very successful; healing, praying and teaching folks everywhere He went. In fact He became so successful throughout the land the Pharisee’s caught wind of what was going on and wanted it stopped as they felt threatened. Not only did they want it stopped, they wanted Jesus arrested for blaspheme.
Well, there was probably no better way to get to Jesus than to have someone close to him “give him up”. So the authorities called upon Judas. According to the scriptures, they paid Judas a sizeable fortune (30 pieces of silver) to take them to Jesus and reveal Him to them, and that is exactly what happened. Judas gave up his best friend for a fortune of wealth. Then, Jesus was taken into the hands of the people who would then beat and torture Him.
Afterward, it did not take Judas long to figure out that he clearly made the wrong choice in giving up his friend. In fact, he took his fortune back to the very folks with whom he made the agreement with and “threw” the silver back to them, trying to convince them to let Jesus go. They would do no such thing and both Judas’ and Jesus’ fate were sealed. This is where I “got it”.
In the beginning, Judas only thought of the wealth. He thought of all the things he could buy with his money. The finer things in life would soon be his, and I bet he even believed all of his dreams of material things would soon come true. Just the opposite happened!
You see, eventually, Judas could not live with himself and who it was that he had become, because he had become a traitor. Not only did he give up his friend in exchange for immediate wealth, he also gave up his ideals, morals, character and most importantly, he gave up who he was. Later in the story, we hear that Judas eventually took his own life because of who he became.
Everyday, most of us go out into this big bad world and exchange either goods, products, or services for money, which we call a pay check. This is the way our world is set up and obviously there is nothing wrong with it. But after reading this story, I learned something very powerful.
The person you and I become is and always will be far more important than what we get in return. It does not matter if we make a million dollars at “something.” If that particular “something” does not help us become somebody we admire, look up to and love. Then really…have we gained anything?
Have a great Friday and an even better weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
The other day I was reading in the New Testament about Judas. Now if you don’t know who Judas is, the scriptures tell us that he was one of the chosen twelve disciples that followed Jesus. I had probably read this story a handful of times prior but it was not until this last time that I actually “got it” and wow did it ever hit me!
Scriptures tell us that Jesus’ ministry grew and became very successful; healing, praying and teaching folks everywhere He went. In fact He became so successful throughout the land the Pharisee’s caught wind of what was going on and wanted it stopped as they felt threatened. Not only did they want it stopped, they wanted Jesus arrested for blaspheme.
Well, there was probably no better way to get to Jesus than to have someone close to him “give him up”. So the authorities called upon Judas. According to the scriptures, they paid Judas a sizeable fortune (30 pieces of silver) to take them to Jesus and reveal Him to them, and that is exactly what happened. Judas gave up his best friend for a fortune of wealth. Then, Jesus was taken into the hands of the people who would then beat and torture Him.
Afterward, it did not take Judas long to figure out that he clearly made the wrong choice in giving up his friend. In fact, he took his fortune back to the very folks with whom he made the agreement with and “threw” the silver back to them, trying to convince them to let Jesus go. They would do no such thing and both Judas’ and Jesus’ fate were sealed. This is where I “got it”.
In the beginning, Judas only thought of the wealth. He thought of all the things he could buy with his money. The finer things in life would soon be his, and I bet he even believed all of his dreams of material things would soon come true. Just the opposite happened!
You see, eventually, Judas could not live with himself and who it was that he had become, because he had become a traitor. Not only did he give up his friend in exchange for immediate wealth, he also gave up his ideals, morals, character and most importantly, he gave up who he was. Later in the story, we hear that Judas eventually took his own life because of who he became.
Everyday, most of us go out into this big bad world and exchange either goods, products, or services for money, which we call a pay check. This is the way our world is set up and obviously there is nothing wrong with it. But after reading this story, I learned something very powerful.
The person you and I become is and always will be far more important than what we get in return. It does not matter if we make a million dollars at “something.” If that particular “something” does not help us become somebody we admire, look up to and love. Then really…have we gained anything?
Have a great Friday and an even better weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
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