It's Your Attitude

Your attitude is not the main thing ...it is the only thing.  

I read this the other day and it made me think for a moment.  Really?  It's the only thing?  This needed an answer, and after investing a little time into this quote, several ideas emerged.
 

Life has a way of beating us up now and then.  Eleanor Roosevelt made the statement: "85% of what happens to you, you have no control over".  If this is true, then everyone of us need to understand it is not what happens to us but rather how we handle it that makes all the difference in how our life works out.
 
This does not mean everything is good and there are no problems or challenges.  I know better and you should too.  By simply saying everything is great when it is not, is not the right answer, nor is it emotionally healthy.
 
Choosing to have a good attitude is just that, a choice, just like you chose to get up this morning and you chose the clothes you wanted to wear.  We make choices everyday, every hour and sometimes, every minute.  So we too choose our attitudes.
 
I have been told by friends, more than once, I am the most positive person they know.  Although I do not claim to be purposefully positive, I do admit to choosing to be happy.  From everything I can see, being positive is just a by-product. 
 
I really don't know if a good attitude makes everything ok or helps to solve every problem we face.  I do know though, having a poor attitude makes life far more difficult than it needs to be and is downright draining.  Who in their right mind wants to be around someone with a crappy attitude?  It's exhausting!

Life is too short to get hung up on what will be thrown at you.  Ask any 90 year old and they will tell you, life goes by faster than you can imagine.  Why spend the short amount of time we have together getting hung up on the small stuff?  Years ago my mentor used to ask me: "Scott, will this matter five years from now?"  The majority of time, the answer was an obvious no.

Chances are, today will not be perfect nor will tomorrow or next week or next month.  But today you can choose to look beyond the struggles of the moment and enjoy the gifts and blessings all around you.  If your happiness and joy are on the line here, why would you let that be taken from you?

Have a great Friday and Happy New Year everyone, be blessed.
 

Something is Missing at Christmas

With it only being days away from Christmas, a lot of excitement is building… but there is something missing, or rather, someone missing.

Christmas trees are up, stockings are hung and gifts are wrapped.  Families have confirmed the times they will be getting together and anticipation has begun to build.

Kids are excited as they watch the amount of presents under the tree grow, in hopes that they will get everything on their list they asked for.  Parents everywhere go 90 miles an hour up until Christmas trying to have everything perfect.

But for some, not everything will be perfect, no matter how hard you try.  In your heart, you know there is a hole and not even the best Christmas dinner or the most expensive of gifts will fill the void.  Oh some may try, but none will succeed.

The hole is there because someone close to you, a child, parent or family member was taken before it was their time.  Maybe due to cancer, an auto accident or other unfair circumstances.  Regardless of the why, they will not be sitting at the dinner table nor sharing in the joy this holiday season.

Life is not always fair, we know this.  It does, however, provide us with laughter, joy and fond memories, plus the emotional connection we have with those whom we love.  Sometimes not even the strongest and deepest of love is enough to cover the hole of that person being taken from us.

Had I known the Christmas of 1990 would be the last one with my mom, I would have done a few extra things to make it more memorable.  Sadly enough, I don’t remember much of that Christmas but I clearly remember the following year when Mom was not there.  As you could imagine, it was not even a little bit enjoyable.

People all around us will be celebrating Christmas without someone they love.  Although they may not say it and will hold back their emotions in public, inside, they are hurting.  The sadness felt is real and heavy.  Most would be willing to trade years of their life for just a few more minutes with their special person. 

I know this well because I have lived it.  While my heart is joyful watching my daughter’s glee with excitement, the other side mourns, knowing my mom never got to see her granddaughters open their gifts, or have cookies and milk with them at Christmas time.

This season, folks everywhere will have aching hearts.  Christmas won’t be the same but yet it will come and go, just like it always has.

Take a little time this holiday season to remember the good times you had with them.  Take those warm memories and replay them in your mind.  Let yourself smile and allow yourself to feel the joy you once shared with them.  It’s what they would want.

From my house to yours, have a great Christmas everyone, be blessed.

Is Your Past Hindering Your Future

The only time our future is determined by our past is when we allow it to be.

I read a quote a while back that reminded me that each of us get to choose our level of happiness and healthiness as we move through life.  It is: “make peace with your past so it does not interfere with your future.” 

As I read this, thoughts of past events, heartaches, disappointments, failed relationships and confrontations between family members stirred in my thoughts.  Most of these have all been dealt with and laid to rest.  Their memories live on while the pain has been squelched through forgiveness and communication.

What if these things had not been dealt with?  Even having half of them not dealt with will have a significant pull on us emotionally and mentally.  The more common term for this: skeletons in the closet.

Our subconscious mind holds onto past events, emotions and feelings long after they have happened.  The conscious mind however (the part of the mind we are well aware of)

helps us focus on our day-to-day tasks and doing what needs to be done.  Therefore it is all too easy to forget the power of the subconscious and the strongholds it can keep.

Even the slightest hurts and disappointments are kept and not forgotten by the subconscious.  Over the years it is easy to see how a long compiled list can be kept and not dealt with in the subconscious.  What does this mean for us?

Think of the subconscious like a filter.  It filters events from the time we are born.  What happens is the filter tends to become plugged and can no longer do its job.  Think of it like an air filter on a car.  When the filter is no longer capable of doing its job, the rest of the car’s engine starts to suffer and becomes less efficient.  The same principal holds true in you and I.

Dealing with all the hurts of our past, no matter how small, ensures us of a healthy mental and emotional future.  It is the unseen things that are holding us back. Healthy discussions with a counselor, Pastor or a friend with whom you have deep trust, who has the ability to genuinely listen, are all great resources to help you.

We cannot change the past but we can surely deal with it and put it to rest, no matter how little or significant those events might be. Don’t think this does not matter, it matters greatly!

Deal with your past.  Put it to rest.  Forgive and let go.  This does not mean we forget, it does mean we refuse to let the past hold us back from a future filled with peace and happiness.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Why Not Ramp Up Now?

This year has gone by fast and now we find ourselves in the last weeks of 2011.  With a new year only days away, many of us will be putting new goals and resolutions in place for the upcoming year.  What I constantly see is that too many people wait on implementing those new goals until it is too late, thus setting themselves up for failure.

The body can only go where the mind is willing to lead and who has control over the mind?  You do, or at least you should.  Meaning, we take control over what we want and where we want to go in life by our thoughts.  With that being said, if we are going to make changes, set goals and change our life, why not start ramping up now?  We can do this by choosing what we think about.

Years ago, I discovered that when I set a goal or want to make a substantial change in my life, I need to ramp up mentally.  That is, weeks in advance, I purposefully start to look at things differently and start to think and focus on the changes I need to make in order to turn in the direction of my goals.  This not only gives me mental readiness, it also strengthens me.  This technique has made a world of difference for me in not only setting goals, but sticking with them, regardless of what tries to detour me.

People everywhere, from all walks of life, want to make changes.  Changes in their weight, jobs, relationships and income are the most common.  The thing that occurs all too often is a lack of follow-through.  When it gets hard, or inconvenient, the goal that was once the answer now becomes the problem, so people quit.  If this is you, I am not trying to make you feel bad, I only want to help you break through this roadblock and find success in achieving what you want.

Changing our daily routine and habits is not easy, not for any of us.  So, let’s get real with ourselves for a moment.  Doing more of what did not work in the past will not make it work any better in the future.  This is just a fact of life.  Accept it and move on.  There is no reason to keep spinning your wheels to only be disappointed with yourself down the road.  Understand that something different must be implemented.

When you set your goals, do something that will support and encourage where you want to go.  Like it was for me, maybe mentally ramping up could make all the difference.  Begin to think about your goal.  Study it and mentally bring it to your conscious thinking.  Then, by the time you write the goal down (because that is critical with any goal) you are ahead of the game and are already committed, both in your heart and mind.

Take the next couple of weeks and think about what you really want to change.  Maybe you feel like God is calling you in a certain direction and until now, you have been a little hesitant.  Has it been on your mind to start a business?  How about losing that last 20 lbs?  Start now and mentally lay out a plan of what and how that will look like.  Then, write it down.

Don't wait!  Now is the time for action because, thoughts do become things.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

At One Point, We Were All Failures

Did you know each one of us could be called a failure?  It's true.  We have failed at many things.

When you and I were babies learning how to stand, we probably fell a lot.  Eventually, after a lot of practice, we learned how to stand, but in the beginning, we were failures.

Once we learned, we tried walking.  Our first step resulted in us falling.  We probably fell more times than could be counted.  We were failures.

As we grew, we wanted to learn how to ride a bicycle.  So, our parents would run beside us, keeping us from tipping over.  Once they let go, we usually fell.  Of course we got back up and tried again but sure enough, eventually we would fall again.  You could say we were failing at riding a bike.

In school, when learning math and reading, we would pronounce a word incorrectly or calculate our math problems the wrong way, and what would happen?  Once again, we were failing.  Granted, we kept trying and learned, but this also brought more failure.   Very few of us got all of our school work 100% correct.

Even when it came time to drive a car, many of us failed.  Remember your first time trying to drive a stick shift?  How many times did you kill the engine?  How many times did you over rev the engine and let the clutch out too fast, resulting in a rather scary quick start?  Turning a corner too soon or waiting too long to use the brakes and then having to press hard so you didn't over shoot the stop sign?  Every one of us have failed in our driving at some point.
 
I could go on, this list could be endless.  We live life, learn and grow based on failures.  We learn from them and they teach us.  I believe every person’s life is a history of failed events, one right after another.  The single most important key is that we learn form those failures and don’t repeat them.  

As a child, no one told us to give up after we fell when we tried walking.  No one said to put the bike back in the garage and just forget it.  No one ever said driving was not important and just drop the idea.  Instead, our parents, teachers or coaches, encouraged us to get back up and try it again. 

As adults, most of us have forgotten this way of thinking.  When did we lose the mindset of, pick your self up and give it another try?  Society seems to be filled with those who are scared of failing.  This could be due to the risk, reputation or even fear of the unknown.  The only time failure is actually failure is when we don’t learn from our mistakes. 

I have watched my youngest daughter take risks and try things over and over again that to me, seemed senseless.  My adult perspective didn’t want to see her fail.  What she has reminded me of is that part of being a child is to not fear failure.

Life really is about failing forward and learning as we go.  We make mistakes and regardless of the outcome, we keep moving forward.  Kids, have this pegged to a tee!  We could learn a lot from kids and their persistence when it comes to not taking failure as defeat.

How many times have we been afraid of failing so we wouldn’t take the first step?  What if you and I never got back up after we fell when learning how to walk?  Life sure would be a whole lot different for all of us!

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.