Due to demand, next week, I am going to start a 7 Part series where we will do an overview of living in healthy relationships. Much like we need to have a healthy body, healthy activities and a healthy mind, we also need to have the same in our relationships.
Years ago, I had a wake-up call to the number of relationships all around us that consist of guilt, manipulation, anger, bitterness, resentment, belittling and enabling. Some may have only one or two components of these, while others may have more. Either way, any relationship that holds any of these characteristics in it, are not healthy and can cause or will add personal destruction.
I am going to take one of these dysfunctions each week and do an overview of them and discuss exactly why these take place, why people allow them into there relationships and what you can do to end this destructive behavior.
So stay tuned, next week we will kick off week one and cover the basics of these destructive behaviors. Hopefully this will shed light on what some refer to as a “dark subject”.
Until then, be blessed and have a great weekend everyone.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Staying Persistant
Working with and being around as many people as I do, I am fortunate enough to hear a lot of great stories about people’s lives and their struggles. I have always enjoyed hearing listening to those “defining moments” when someone’s life could have went several different ways and quite frankly, I never seem to get tired of hearing about peoples lives.
I have heard stories about what it was like being raised by parents who made it through the great depression (and their beliefs and behaviors because of that) as well as what it is like to be married to the same person for 60 years. Years ago, I heard a story about a little Girl who had the privilege of sitting on her great, great Grandfather’s knee for the first time when she was just four years old. Only days before he passed away. Rarely do I ever hear the same story twice and always enjoy those times when I am told about a small piece of time from someone’s life. With these stories...there often seems to be a "turning point" or a "fine thread" that has held someone’s life together while they were going through or enduring an event that was in their life’s path.
Our history books are full of stories about men and women who have gone through great trials and struggles on their life’s journey. We can pick up a book and read about them almost anywhere. Yet, the common denominator with the ones who overcame and came out on top were that they all seemed to persist, no matter what happened to them or what they had to go through. Just the other night, I was watching a TV show called: "I Shouldn’t Be Alive". There were several stories of people who were faced with life and death challenges and when all the odds were against them, they still overcame and chose life, all because they took one more step and persisted. Now I am sure this is not the case for every single person, but this common thread of persistence, demands further attention.
A few examples here are the real life stories of average people who refused to give up and more importantly, they refused to give up on themselves. Time and time again we can look back and see where persistence paid huge dividends. Truth be known, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Kernel Sanders, Babe Ruth, Winston Churchill and Walt Disney, were all failures. Many, MANY times they tried and worked and pushed to only be rejected, and were met with disappointment. The one thing every one of them did, regardless of what happened to them, they persisted and continued to move forward! Back in their days, few people knew of these great men. Today though, everybody knows who they are and what they did, simply because of one common trait: persistence.
Jack Canfield, the Co-Author of Chicken Soup for the Soul approached 124 publishers before he finally found one that said yes to his book. Today, the Chicken Soup for the Soul series has reached millions of homes all over the globe and has been printed into 54 different languages. Back then, no one really knew who Jack Canfield was, but today everyone knows of his Chicken Soup for the Soul series, largely due to his persistence.
I know it is easy to become frustrated and want to quit. When I was younger, I quit several things. But as I grew up, I realized that the price for giving up too soon was very costly and, in some cases, could be life altering. If all of those men I mentioned had given up too soon, what would our world look like today? How different would we be living? Sure, other people may have stepped in and filled their roles, but because they persisted, you and I get to enjoy the fruits of their accomplishments. Overall, I think there is everything to gain by being persistent and there is everything to lose by not.
In tough and hard times, above all, persist. If you think about it, the other choice (quitting) is not really a choice at all. If you will keep pushing forward, no matter what comes your way, no matter how bad it seems, as long as you don’t quit, the only thing that can eventually happen for you is success. Thousands and thousands of men and women before us have already proven that persistence pays off. So go ahead…keep going... persist! Your reward is waiting for you!
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
I have heard stories about what it was like being raised by parents who made it through the great depression (and their beliefs and behaviors because of that) as well as what it is like to be married to the same person for 60 years. Years ago, I heard a story about a little Girl who had the privilege of sitting on her great, great Grandfather’s knee for the first time when she was just four years old. Only days before he passed away. Rarely do I ever hear the same story twice and always enjoy those times when I am told about a small piece of time from someone’s life. With these stories...there often seems to be a "turning point" or a "fine thread" that has held someone’s life together while they were going through or enduring an event that was in their life’s path.
Our history books are full of stories about men and women who have gone through great trials and struggles on their life’s journey. We can pick up a book and read about them almost anywhere. Yet, the common denominator with the ones who overcame and came out on top were that they all seemed to persist, no matter what happened to them or what they had to go through. Just the other night, I was watching a TV show called: "I Shouldn’t Be Alive". There were several stories of people who were faced with life and death challenges and when all the odds were against them, they still overcame and chose life, all because they took one more step and persisted. Now I am sure this is not the case for every single person, but this common thread of persistence, demands further attention.
A few examples here are the real life stories of average people who refused to give up and more importantly, they refused to give up on themselves. Time and time again we can look back and see where persistence paid huge dividends. Truth be known, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Kernel Sanders, Babe Ruth, Winston Churchill and Walt Disney, were all failures. Many, MANY times they tried and worked and pushed to only be rejected, and were met with disappointment. The one thing every one of them did, regardless of what happened to them, they persisted and continued to move forward! Back in their days, few people knew of these great men. Today though, everybody knows who they are and what they did, simply because of one common trait: persistence.
Jack Canfield, the Co-Author of Chicken Soup for the Soul approached 124 publishers before he finally found one that said yes to his book. Today, the Chicken Soup for the Soul series has reached millions of homes all over the globe and has been printed into 54 different languages. Back then, no one really knew who Jack Canfield was, but today everyone knows of his Chicken Soup for the Soul series, largely due to his persistence.
I know it is easy to become frustrated and want to quit. When I was younger, I quit several things. But as I grew up, I realized that the price for giving up too soon was very costly and, in some cases, could be life altering. If all of those men I mentioned had given up too soon, what would our world look like today? How different would we be living? Sure, other people may have stepped in and filled their roles, but because they persisted, you and I get to enjoy the fruits of their accomplishments. Overall, I think there is everything to gain by being persistent and there is everything to lose by not.
In tough and hard times, above all, persist. If you think about it, the other choice (quitting) is not really a choice at all. If you will keep pushing forward, no matter what comes your way, no matter how bad it seems, as long as you don’t quit, the only thing that can eventually happen for you is success. Thousands and thousands of men and women before us have already proven that persistence pays off. So go ahead…keep going... persist! Your reward is waiting for you!
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Adding Value to Others
Something I have come to learn and understand about raising two daughters is that it is not always easy. Rewarding? Yes, very much so, but it has brought along its fair amount of challenges. With both of my daughters currently being under the age of ten, I am already trying to instill in them what it is to have chores and pick things up after they use them, putting their clothes where they belong and just teaching them responsibility. Personally, I don’t think there is too young of an age to teach this, we just need to make sure that, as parents, were are not being unrealistic in what to expect from them.
My Mom and Dad taught me how to work and how to be responsible fairly early in my life. I am so thankful for this because as I became a teenager and entered the work force, it was easy for me show up on time and do the best job I could, wherever I was working. Calling in sick was just something I don’t ever remember doing. I am sure I did once or twice, but I never used that as an excuse to not go to work. In the words of my dad, “You signed up to do a job, by golly you better be there to do it.”
As I get older and continue to learn more about life and the world around me, the more I realize there is a big element kids need today that even I was not taught growing up. In fact I don’t even recall ever hearing much about it until I was in my late twenties and even then, still did not totally understand what it was and how it affected me. High schools don’t teach it. I am not even sure many colleges teach it. What I am talking about here is adding value: value to our employers and value to the people that we serve. But what does this term really mean? What does it mean to add value to others?
When we add value to somebody we are going above the standard of what we are called to do. Adding value can also come through our willingness or our perception of things. Our personal efficiency at a task could be considered adding value. Some would say it is a lot like being an over-achiever. All of these things bring value to others, no doubt, but to take this a little deeper, what I am talking about here is a mindset and an attitude to back it up.
Unfortunately, our society is making a shift toward the mindset of: “what’s in it for me.” I hate to say it but it is true. Taking on a mindset of adding value to others is completely contradictory to this selfish way of thinking. When I hear our younger generation say this, I respond with, “Everything is in it for you if you will understand it is not about you”. Adding value is about giving, not about taking and when we give more to others than they are expecting, we build them up and help to increase them. In return, by building them up, we are also building ourselves up at the same time. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we grow when we give more and add value to someone else.
Take this next week and think of ways you can add more value to someone around you. How can you build them up and help them to succeed? Even if it is only in a small way, bringing more value to someone will come back to each of us, once we have given it. Then, as we bring more value to others, we become more valuable. It’s a win / win circle. Not only that, people like to be around givers, they don’t usually like to be around takers.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
My Mom and Dad taught me how to work and how to be responsible fairly early in my life. I am so thankful for this because as I became a teenager and entered the work force, it was easy for me show up on time and do the best job I could, wherever I was working. Calling in sick was just something I don’t ever remember doing. I am sure I did once or twice, but I never used that as an excuse to not go to work. In the words of my dad, “You signed up to do a job, by golly you better be there to do it.”
As I get older and continue to learn more about life and the world around me, the more I realize there is a big element kids need today that even I was not taught growing up. In fact I don’t even recall ever hearing much about it until I was in my late twenties and even then, still did not totally understand what it was and how it affected me. High schools don’t teach it. I am not even sure many colleges teach it. What I am talking about here is adding value: value to our employers and value to the people that we serve. But what does this term really mean? What does it mean to add value to others?
When we add value to somebody we are going above the standard of what we are called to do. Adding value can also come through our willingness or our perception of things. Our personal efficiency at a task could be considered adding value. Some would say it is a lot like being an over-achiever. All of these things bring value to others, no doubt, but to take this a little deeper, what I am talking about here is a mindset and an attitude to back it up.
Unfortunately, our society is making a shift toward the mindset of: “what’s in it for me.” I hate to say it but it is true. Taking on a mindset of adding value to others is completely contradictory to this selfish way of thinking. When I hear our younger generation say this, I respond with, “Everything is in it for you if you will understand it is not about you”. Adding value is about giving, not about taking and when we give more to others than they are expecting, we build them up and help to increase them. In return, by building them up, we are also building ourselves up at the same time. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we grow when we give more and add value to someone else.
Take this next week and think of ways you can add more value to someone around you. How can you build them up and help them to succeed? Even if it is only in a small way, bringing more value to someone will come back to each of us, once we have given it. Then, as we bring more value to others, we become more valuable. It’s a win / win circle. Not only that, people like to be around givers, they don’t usually like to be around takers.
Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.
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