Good bye 2010...Hello 2011!

With the New Year underway and moving forward, I think a lot of us are glad that 2010 is behind us. It was a tough year for a lot of people in many different ways. Jobs were being lost, finances became thin and marriages were strained like never before. Homes were lost and retirement accounts suffered. I watched people all around me deal with all of these and unfortunately, life was not always fun. I, too, had my own set of struggles to deal with.

One thing we all need to understand is if we are going to hope, pray and expect great things for 2011, we need to stop focusing on what was. Now I don’t want to be to harsh here and insensitive but we truly need to let 2010 be and stop dwelling on it. It is what it is and there is not one thing we can do to change it. If we could have changed it, we probably did to some degree and to the best we could. Continuing to live in the past is not and will not do any of us any good. The unfortunate events that took place, happened to many of us, not just a few. I think we need to realize: Yes, it happened…but it does not mean it will continue to happen nor does it mean it will happen all through 2011.

I have learned the hard way that what we focus our attention and thoughts on will lead us to where we get more of just that: what we focus on most. Rather than focusing on what you don’t want, start focusing on what you do want. Stop talking about what you don’t want and start talking about what you do want. I believe if you want a better year for you and your family in 2011, you have to start by speaking it. Say what you want over and over again. Let go of 2010 with your words and thoughts and start thinking and speaking of how much better you want this year to be. Do you want a better job? Start speaking it. Want your old income back? Start claiming it by verbalizing what it is you want, not what you don’t want. Like it or not, the glory days when everything came real easy (2006 – 2008) are not coming back, so let go of it and focus on a brand new 2011 which has not even been shaped yet.

Yes, I am well aware our economy is not real hot right now. Yes, I am well aware many people are still out of work and yes, I know the amount of homes being foreclosed on each month and it is all very unfortunate. None of these things do I ignore or pretend they are not a problem. I do know, though, there is very little I can do about any of it. So for this reason, I choose to not dwell on or waste my time trying to make them better. If I did, I would be greatly disappointed. The one thing you and I do have all the control over, is ourselves. How we spend our time, what we focus on and what we give our energy to is all in our control. Because I believe that 85% of what happens to us we have no control over and the remaining 15% we have all the control over, I believe it only makes sense to focus on the 15%.

Take what you have right now and do with it what you can. Regardless of what it is, take this first step. I believe there is something magical for those who use what they have, for where they are. God has an amazing way of filling in the gaps in our life when we are in need and when we step out in faith with the expectation of something greater. I say this not because it has just been told to me … but because I have seen it work first-hand in my own life.


Have a great 2011 everyone and be blessed.

Merry Christmas and a Thank You.

On the Christmas Eve 2010, I want to say thank you and wish you a warm Merry Christmas.

I have been so blessed by the responses I have received from many of you on how my weekly Friday messages have touched your lives. I truly enjoy and welcome the feed back and feel very fortunate to share the gift I have been given with you. I have always said that if we have a gift, but do not share it, then what good is it.

As we move into 2011, I will be working harder on myself as to how I can give to others and bless others with my gift. Sharing little secrets or tools to those who are looking for answers, is what I am passionate about. Every time I encourage and inspire someone to grow through life, I am refueled and energy seems to come my way. I love it!

Fridays Thoughts are now 2 years old and my commitment to you is that with each passing year, I will continue to grow and get better so that more and more people who want to, can make better choices and have healthier beliefs which in return will give them better results. I always try to write about things that matter. Stuff that all of us struggle with at some point and topics that hit us on different levels. Many times, I have had people email me about things that are difficult for them or losses they have endured and based on those emails and responses, I think I am on track with relating to most on some degree or another.

As you move into 2011, I truly wish great things for you. 2010 was a hard year for many of us as we all endured many challenges and struggles. As you and I move forward, we need to remind ourselves that 9 times out of 10, things will not change all by themselves. Instead, we (you and I) need to change and do things differently if we are to expect a different outcome. Do not leave it up to your spouse, or your boss, your job or even the marketplace to get a different result. It simply is not going to happen. If we are to get a different result …then we must do something different. This is my quote for me for 2011 and if you want to change some things in your life for the year ahead, I hope you will adopt this as your own.

From my family to yours, have a very Merry Christmas and be blessed.

Give thanks to those who supported us on our journey

As I am approaching my 42nd birthday, there have been a handful of things that I have noticed about my life that I used to never give much thought to. Over the last fifteen years or so, I have come to gain a much deeper understanding of what life really is and what it is supposed to be about. I like to refer to it as, “the further you go, the more you can see and the more you can see, the further you want to go”.

But as I count my blessings and give thanks during this time of year, the one thing I am probably most thankful for and has made the biggest impact on me during this time is the people around me. Those who have supported me, encouraged me and those who have played a mentor / coaching role in my life. These are the people who have truly helped me to see my potential, lifted me up and helped to shape me into the person I am today. Yes, it has taken the interest of many over the years for me to become… well, me.

I have a mentor that is always telling me: Scott, any and all success will in fact require the collaboration and cooperation of other people. Had he told me this a few years ago, I am not sure I would have believed it, at least not to the extent I do today. This statement is so true. If you think about it for a moment, no matter what we are going to pursue, follow or go after, it will require the cooperation of others. No matter if you are starting a business, becoming a top salesperson, advancing at your job, chasing your dreams or even becoming a hermit. Yes, even if you want to go live in a cave away from everyone, it will still require the cooperation from others because they will have to agree to leave you alone.

Along my path of life, I have indeed had some very dynamic and gifted people enter in. What is equally important is that I have known it when they showed up. I can’t tell you how I just knew that I knew. I also have come to understand that most of the time these important people only stayed in my life for a season. A season upon which I needed them to help me get to the next level of my life. A few of them were so crucial that had they not shown up at that point in time, I know for a fact my life would have turned out to be very different from what it is today.

So, we need the collaboration of people, no matter where we are, to help us. They are usually the folks who have walked down the path of life before us and often, have the answers we seek. I want to encourage you that if you have or have had these folks in your life, those who have made a profound difference and have taken an interest in you, thank them. Not just with a “thank you”, but with a heart-felt message of what a difference they have made to you. I believe a sincere display of gratitude to those who have taken an interest in us, is the least we should do to give back to them.

Throughout time, great leaders, pastors, teachers, coaches and mentors have all come to be great because they too had someone or somebody’s who lifted them up and supported them. They simply could not have done it without the collaboration and cooperation of others. This week, make sure to give a heart-felt “thank you” to those who have supported you. Without them, who is to say how differently your life would have turned out and the blessings you have right now may have never shown up.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Admitting when you were wrong

For as long as I can remember, I have seen leaders and people in some type of authority position try to cover up for poor choices they have made. We have all seen this, right? The C.E.O. who claims he or she knew nothing about the embezzlement, or the Politician who says they never said this or that. Even locally we hear of someone trying to dodge the bullet of responsibility or to be held accountable for their actions. My guess is they do this all in the name of trying to retain their character or image. Granted, it is not everyone or everywhere, but when it happens, we hear about it.

I am far from the guy who goes around pointing the finger or talking about the latest scandal. To be frank about it, I have no interest in it whatsoever. People’s problems or situations are just that: they are their problems, not mine. What interests me about this is how and why people go to such great lengths to either justify their actions or claim their innocence. People have even gone on national television and pleaded with the country, only to hear later that they were, in fact, not being totally honest. It’s unfortunate and sad that this happens. I say this because I know first-hand making mistakes is part of being human. We all do it. At one time or another, every one of us have made a poor choice that resulted in a not-so- good ending. It may have been minor or very damaging, but along the way all of us have landed somewhere in between.

Remembering back to my days of Boy Scouts, I recall the scout masters and leaders teaching us what it was to not be just a good leader, but a great leader. Still, twenty five plus years later, I am reminded of those teachings and the experiences that came along with being in Boy Scouts. I was taught if you were a leader and made a wrong choice or a poor decision, admitting you were wrong and asking for forgiveness was the right thing to do. Not only was it the right thing, it was the only thing and to do anything but this was to be dishonest and a disgrace.

I don’t ever want to judge people for what they are accused of, it’s not my place. That is between them and God. I just can’t help but wonder, though, how different things would be if leaders everywhere simply admitted fault and asked for forgiveness when it deemed needed. From everything I can see, most people will forgive if they are asked to, providing they are asked from a humble heart and a place of brokenness. I know in my life I have been given much grace, over and over again, so when needed, I have much grace to give back. I think the majority of us feel the same way, we just want to know the motive to do so is sincere.

From what I can see, admitting we are wrong and asking for forgiveness from those whom we affected is far more admirable and honorable, as opposed to trying to pass the buck onto someone else. Cities, businesses and the communities where we live long to have leaders who are not necessarily perfect, but who are accountable and responsible for their actions. Many times I have made the wrong choice when I thought it was the right one, and many times I have found myself being humbled and asking for forgiveness. Leaders who can set aside their ego and do this, are far more likely to gain respect and gain people who will follow them, as opposed to justifying, denying or passing blame. It takes a level of maturity to do this and it makes a good leader, a great leader.

If you are in a leadership position, do not be afraid to admit you were wrong. Contrary to popular belief, it is ok to be wrong. You are never going to be right 100% of the time. The key here is to grow from being wrong and be able to take that experience and the emotion it gave you and not make the same mistake again. Living your life like this is what most would call “working your way to success.” It is learning from your mistakes and moving forward, making better choices the next time around.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Are You Living Right For Your Type

Several months ago, I was fortunate enough to have been asked to be a regular guest on a weekly radio show. The focus of the radio show is centered toward creating awareness around personality types and styles in the work place, friendships, marriage and even within family. Every one of us has a dominant personality style and a secondary style that guides us and leads us in the way we communicate with others. During this time, I have learned a great deal about why it is that we respond and react to people the way we do. It has been extremely enlightening.

After a short amount of time and some education about the four personality types, I quickly learned a lot about myself. I learned why certain things were important to me and why I always put my relationships above most other things. Come to find out, you and I can learn a lot about who we are just from understanding what our own personality type is. Then, once we understand our self, understanding others and why they act, do and say what they say can really start to make a lot of sense. For me, the best thing I have taken away from learning this material has been to not take things so personally and I am 110% totally honest when I say it has literally been a paradigm shift within my way of thinking.

Although I have never been an avid follower of the personality styles, another thing that this material has taught me is that along with these styles come strengths and weaknesses that work better with certain types of jobs, careers or businesses. This information alone is why the name of the radio show is called: Living right for your type. The show really tries to bring to its listeners the tools a person needs to make the assessment in their own life if are they living right for their type. A common question that always seems to come up is: does my personality style compliment what I do professionally? This is a valid question that many of us should answer if we have not yet done so. When it came time for me to answer this, I can clearly see where several of the jobs I have had in the past were clearly not a good fit for my personality style.

To conclude, this is probably the main reason why I was so unhappy at those jobs too. Back then I had no concept of this information and I just thought that even if you didn’t like your job, you had to do it any way. I guess you could say I was not living right for my type and that alone gave me a tremendous amount of anger, anxiety and it was stealing my peace and joy.

Yes, I understand that at times in our life, we will need to do things that are not always fun and that there will be things we have to do that we won’t like. That is life, plain and simple. But in the big picture over the long haul, life will be far more enjoyable if we are living the right life style for our personality type. Trust me, I know this first hand, I have lived both ways and to live your life in a way that compliments who you are at the core, will be a life far more full of peace, joy and happiness. Plus, you will probably find that everything you do will work better, become easier and you are far more efficient at it as well. It just kind of makes sense doesn’t it? Why wouldn’t you want to live right for your type?

Interested in knowing a little more about personality styles and whether or not you are living right for your type? You can listen to the radio show via the internet at: www.blogtalkradio.com then type in the search bar: living right 4 your type. All shows are recorded and available to listen to at any time but we are live on the air Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from 11:00 am – 12:00 pm west coast time.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.