Attitude

It’s your attitude that determines your altitude.  We’ve all heard that, right?  How about: Attitude isn’t the main thing, it’s the only thing?

Being around someone who has a great attitude can be a lot of fun.  We feel better about ourselves.  We’re energized, inspired, even motivated.  It’s as if our self-esteem has been given a boost.

Often times, when an employer has a special task that needs to be completed, they will ask an employee with a can do attitude to do it.  That employee may not even know how to perform the task but because of his attitude, he will find a way to do it and will do whatever it takes to complete it.

Attitudes are also an indicator of what we believe.  Typically, the person who believes hard work and persistence will yield them their dreams and desires will also have the attitude of, it can happen.  

Even the person who makes mistakes (isn’t that all of us) but has an attitude of accepting responsibility, admitting they made the mistake, wants to learn from it, and chooses to move forward, is likely to be favored by his peers.

The reality is we simply won’t see someone with a poor attitude accomplishing great things or encouraging others.  Even if you have seen them accomplish something, I’d be willing to bet, they were not very effective.

It’s the master key that can unlock many doors in life.  Countless times people who didn’t know how, were hired over the experienced poor attitude applicant, to do a job, because they instilled an attitude of, I can and I will.

Is attitude everything?  Does it really make all the difference?  Can a positive, can-do attitude even cover a multitude of weaknesses?

Without hesitation, yes!  Our attitude really is that important.  Each day we bring an attitude to our environment, whether that is our place of employment, school, organization, family or friends.  Based on their attitude, people determine if you are someone they want to continue being around.

So the next time you’re in a crowd of people, ask yourself this question: Is my attitude worth catching?

Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

To Someone... Your Words Matter

Allen had lived a great life.  He had many achievements and accomplishments over the years.  He married his high school sweetheart at age 20 and shortly thereafter, they started a family.

He was involved in his community, church and several non-profit organizations.

Over the next 65 years, Allen served on various boards and became well respected around his town.  He started a business, hired employees and grew his business to a point where he could generously give back.  Not just with money but his time.

Allen was known for helping others.  He was flexible with his employees and their family schedules so they could tend to things that were important to them.  He strived to make a difference in people and believed that instilling a positive attitudes, respect and honor into his children, were the best traits he could leave them.

One day, in his late 80’s, Allen died.  Upon his ascent into heaven, he saw a large screen that appeared to be playing various movies.  As he got closer, he realized they were segments of his life, all playing at the same time, on one screen.  Each movie was showing the difference he had made in someone’s life.  Right in front of him, he was hearing and seeing story after story how his generosity and willingness to share had made such an impact on so many.  He could not help but feel an abundance of love while seeing all of this unfold.

He also noticed on the far side of the screen, there were people whom he knew who were not talking very nice about him.  The movies showed these people spreading rumors and talking badly about him behind his back.  They made false accusations about him and unfortunately, Allen knew everyone of them.  Some were friends, neighbors and even employees whom he had paid salaries and bonuses to for years.

Upon seeing this, Allen was overcome with disbelief.  The same people whom he had given his time, energy and finances to were not only disrespectful but were also unthankful.  It only took a minute before his heart was heavy and with hurt feelings, his eyes filled with tears.  He kept thinking: how could people whom he had done so much for, be so ungrateful.

This story was given to me in a dream and is not far from reality.  All of us, at some point, have been ungrateful to those who have given to us.  The question is: do we still do it and will we continue to do it?

The next time you start to talk about someone to somebody, stop and ask yourself:  would I be saying this if that person was standing beside me?  If they were to hear your words, would it build them up or tear them down?

Life really is in the power of the tongue.  Each day, we have a choice to be thankful for what we have. Words aren’t just words they are an outward statement of what is taking place on the inside of us.  

Don’t allow yourself to think: it doesn’t matter.  Unintentional or direct, all of our words matter.

Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

Kids, Politics & Beliefs

Are you involving your kids in your voting? Such a simple question may not come with a simple answer.

Each of us talk and act based on what we believe to be true. Whether it be people, places, religion or even politics, all of us act out our beliefs.

Recently, my eldest daughter brought a few questions that were thought provoking.  Her fourth grade class has been discussing the upcoming Presidential election, the candidates and the different parties.

Her questions were sincere, honest and that of an unbiased opinion (which is rare in itself).  In the past, we had discussed such things but not at the level she was asking.  It was clear that the time had come to start teaching her about politics and Government.

Overall, I am not interested in partisan politics.  It is an argument that could go on forever.  I’m referring to one’s core beliefs about why they think one candidate is better than the other. How what we believe causes us to make choices accordingly, which helps determine who we will be voting for.

Religion, personal interest and even political affiliation are largely inherited.  That is, we follow the footsteps of those who have programmed us.  Parents, family or someone who is an authority in our lives.

Parents always want what’s best for their kids.  But what determines what is best?  Our beliefs determine what is best but that does not mean those beliefs are healthy or favorable.  We can only teach our kids what we know and understand. Why does one person believe the Democrats have all the right answers while the guy across the street is convinced the Republicans do?  It’s all because of what we believe to be true.

Most of the time, there is nothing wrong with teaching our kids our persuasion.  But if we truly want the best for them, shouldn’t we take it deeper?  What about teaching them core values?  Why not teach them that our Government’s choices have brought the country to the place where it is currently?  And, if those results are not favorable, then moving forward, the choices need to be different.  You do realize choices always equal an outcome… right?

Seek wisdom when doing this. If we truly want a better tomorrow, we have to start with the healthy programming of our younger generation.  That is, it starts with us, right now, today.  Not brainwashing, rather healthy beliefs and understanding.

How we interact with our children when it comes to understanding our Government and the democracy we live in, will define the tomorrow we help create.  Choose wisely, your choices today are creating your tomorrow.

Have a great weekend, be blessed.

Your Choices...Your Life

The life you are living right now is the result of the choices you have made up to this point.

Most folks don’t realize that they have choices.  Many run on auto-pilot, making each day look a lot more like chance than choice.  But just the opposite is true.  Everything is a choice!

It wasn’t until I reached my mid 30’s that I truly grabbed hold of this reality.  Each day, I could choose what I would do, where I would go, my activities, attitude…all of it.  Granted, the majority of those choices were obvious and easy…but I still got to choose.

Each new day brings with it the seed of choice.  How you start your day, what you will wear, will you exercise, will you have a good attitude and will you be on time to your first meeting.  All of these choices and you haven’t even left your house yet!

Left to chance?  I don’t believe there is such a thing.  Even if one tries to make a case for this, the fact is, you can still choose to do nothing, and that is a choice.

Look back on your life.  How many times have you come to a crossroads where a major choice was before you?  How did you handle it?  Did you weigh your options, look at all sides and try to make the best choice possible?

In the past, have you made poor choices?  If so, what did you learn from them?  Sometimes, wrong choices today give us opportunities to excel in the future because learning and choosing differently next time, brings about favor and wisdom.

Once in awhile, the crossroads of life are not always so clear and then the choice we have to make can be a struggle.  Yet still, we are forced to make a choice.

Choice is the reason we can create the life we want.  It’s one of God’s greatest gifts to us.

We also need to keep in mind that for every choice we make, there are or can be lasting consequences.  Choosing to forgo exercise every morning and eat a donut may bring short-term satisfaction, but over the long-term, it’s detrimental to your health. 

After reading this, you will make a choice to either ignore it, or think about it.  Regardless, each day, what we choose affects not only our self but often, those around us as well.

Once we realize and grasp this concept, there can be no more blame game.  You can’t play the victim card, nor can you point fingers at others and say it’s their fault for your circumstances.

Will you decide to start choosing wisely?  Can you see that your choices equal the person you are today?

Want a different job?  Make different choices.  Want a better relationship with your spouse?  Make better choices.  Want to lose some weight and feel attractive again?  It’s easier than you think…just make different choices.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

If God is Real...Why Can't I see Him?

Is the question, does God exist?  OR… is my mind open to see it?
 
Recently, I was sitting at a table with friends and family enjoying a meal when the discussion surfaced…does God exist. 

I admit, I thoroughly enjoy this type of topic.  By nature, I am a listener.  Listening to people talk and use words in a specific manner creates knowledge.  You can find the answer to nearly every question by listening, if you get good enough at it.

In this 35 minute discussion, I rarely spoke.  There was no reason to.  No one at the table was interested in answers.  They were far more interested in sharing their thoughts and ideas.  While sitting there, I realized something profound!
 
In this setting, the real rooted question was not about weather God existed or not.  The real subject was if he exists, why can't I see Him.  The short, black and white answer to this is easier than you might think.The discussion went several different ways with opinions, ideas and thoughts.  As I sat there intently listening, one phrase that kept being repeated was “it is hard to believe in God because you can't see Him and I can only believe in what I see.” 
 

What we believe and hold in our mind as truth, determines most every aspect of our life because all of our choices are based around what we believe.  If you can’t see God, maybe it’s because your personal belief system is not letting you.
 
Largely formed from our past, our belief system holds all of the good and the bad experiences.  Hurts, pain, pleasures and memories.  Books you have read and people you have associated with, parents, successes and tragedies.  It's all accounted for and all of it has created you and what you hold as truth.
 
This means, each of us hold an image of what we think God looks like, where He is and what He does.  Some hold the belief that He is like a step father with a zero tolerance for error and punishes swiftly.  Others see Him as a gentle, loving, caring, guiding Dad who holds unconditional love for His children.  The way you see Him or think of Him is in large, based on your programming. (Experiences)
 
Those who don't believe, it could be your personal set of beliefs do not line up with what God is suppose to look like.  Therefore, He must not exist.  After all, what kind of God would allow so much destruction, hate, hunger and evil in the world, right?  
 
If your own belief system does not line up with the image of what God is suppose to look like for you, your belief system will dismiss it as invalid.  Therefore, making it only logical to take the stance that God doesn't exist.
 
I know for a fact that several of my family sitting around the table that night have had miracles in their life.  A few, more than once.  Yet they still struggle with believing that God exists. 

One could ask, where do miracles come from?  After all, if we will only do a little searching, we will see that miracles happen all around us, sometimes every day. 
 
Science has gone to great length to prove there is no God.  Yet, the search itself has raised more questions than can be answered.  Even if they are answerable, it requires faith in the science itself to accept its answers.  
 
Believing in God is more of a faith thing than it is a seeing thing.  Yes, many have seen and experienced things that make no sense as to why or how.  Personally, I fit into this category.  Many have seen miracles happen in their own life and yet still refuse to accept that God had anything to do with it.  Even when claiming God is the only half way reasonable answer, they still cannot bring themselves to accept it.   
 
Pride and ego also play a factor. If a person is more interested in being right then seeking the truth, all the proof in the world will not be enough to convince.
 
I have heard that coincidences are when God chooses to remain anonymous. Personally, I am ok with that.  I don't need a mathematical equation to answer every coincidence that happens in my life. 

If you do, that’s ok.  Just remember, there is no proof the sun will come up tomorrow.  We believe it will come up because we have faith.  That faith comes from the past, seeing it rise and set many times before.  Yes, even faith, is built on what we have and have not seen.
 
Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

Finding Your Calling ~ Part 5

A relationship can hold the most value in your search for your calling, but what kind of relationship?

This week is part 5, Finding Your Calling.
 
Books, meetings, church...even your spouse, are valuable for you to find your calling.  But a relationship with the right person, at the right time is invaluable.  Ever heard the old phrase, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear?  
 
There is magic to be found in the pursuit of something.  That is, genuinely searching for answers produces the magic.  The world has a way of holding onto answers until a person is truly ready.
 
There are people everywhere who want answers.  The problem is, they are willing to do little, if anything, to get them.  This includes seeking a meaningful relationship with a person who can effectively mentor and coach them.  Why on earth would someone invest time and even pay someone whom they have never met or known very well?  Because they have invaluable information you do not have and they did not get it by luck or chance, but by pursuit.
 
The answers to what you are seeking are not mysteries.  They do however tend to be clothed in camouflage.  Answers do not appear for everyone.  I have read that answers are reserved for those who have to know, not merely want to know.  
 
Coaches and mentors have been a part of my life for many years, even back to a time when I didn't know that's what they were.  Unfortunately, I didn’t have a dad or a mom who made a good coach.  Other people stepped up to help guide me when I needed it.  In my twenties, I realized just how much of an asset they were.  John Maxwell says:  “What you learn is important but who you learn it from is even more important.”
 
The key is to find one who you trust and feel in-sync with.  My friend Tammi Brannan created the Instinctive Life several years ago.  Her site, http://www.instinctivelife.com/  is dedicated to help people see their natural instinctive abilities, traits, thoughts and likes, then set them on a course in that direction.
 
Author Lori Chance coaches those who want to write their first book.  http://www.authorshipforexperts.com/home/.  There can be many landmines and pitfalls in writing your first book and taking on the task alone could prove to be overwhelming.  Irregardless, both of these ladies have a tremendous amount of value to offer when it comes to finding some of life’s answers.  The insight, wisdom and knowledge of having a coach is a great way to find the answers you are searching for.
 
I once heard Dr. Mike Murdock share that everything you are wanting is only a relationship away. The right person in the right season of your life can help advance you further than you could ever dream possible.  I can say this because I have experienced it.
 
Next week, we will do an overview on the topic of finding your calling.  Until then, write down what actions you are going to take to move forward with finding your calling.  We will touch base on those then.
 
Have a great Memorial Weekend everyone, be blessed.    
 

Expectations & Communication ~ Part 10

What are your expectations regarding Mr. or Ms. Right?

This is part 10 in the series of Attracting Healthy Love.

It has been said that some of the most brilliant ideas are also some of the most obvious.  I would say that communicating your expectations falls right in line with this.

Although communicating your expectations will probably not be something you do right off the bat when dating, but it will be vital if you can see yourself long-term with this person.  Because of this, sharing your beliefs and coming to a mutual understanding on certain topics is essential.

I have heard stories about couples who got married and failed to discuss financial matters, having or raising children, beliefs in God, family values and individual goals beforehand.  I can’t understand how things of such importance were overlooked, but they were.  Don’t let this be you.

Here are several things to consider: how does each of you view money?  Do you save or spend?  Do both of you like / want kids?  If so, how many?  What are your individual parenting styles?  Will God be a part of your marriage?  Where will you attend church?  Have you clearly shared your dreams, goals and aspirations with each other?  Will you live where you currently are or is re locating an option for the future?

Another area which is often not communicated is sexual expectations.  Although this can be a difficult area of discussion, it is important.  Past partners (if any) can sometimes set standards that may or may not be realistic for Mr. or Ms. Right. 

Society, certain magazines, pornography and Hollywood-like influences can also create unrealistic expectations.  Be aware of this.  The pressure to be a sexual superstar runs high in our culture.  Communicate your feelings and thoughts from the beginning.  Then there is never a void between the two of you.  If you can talk openly about sex, chances are you can talk about everything else that is important.

Your best policy is to keep the line of communication open right from the beginning with regard to what you hold sacred, what you value and what your non-negotiables are.

Make sure you are able to share your frustrations and concerns.  The art of genuinely listening is rare and should be held in high regard.  Most times people don’t want an answer, they want to be heard and understood.  Make sure your special someone is a listener.  The last thing anyone wants is to be fixed after going through a tough day at work.

Of the marriages that fail, a lack of communication is generally at the heart of the problem.  If you can master heartfelt communication early on, you will substantially increase your odds of attracting and keeping healthy love.

Next week is part 11, the final chapter in this series of Attracting Healthy Love.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Your Attitude ~ Part 8

Do you have the right attitude to attract Mr. or Ms. Right? 
 This is part 8 in the series of Attracting Healthy Love.
 There is an old saying that says:  Is your attitude worth catching?    This valid question demands and answer.  Combine this with searching for the perfect person and we create an interesting dynamic within ourselves.
 Many years ago, prior to dating my wife, I sometimes browsed the personal ads in newspapers.  (this was before the on line dating scene)  While viewing them, several common denominators became clear to me about the people looking for that special someone.  In large, most seemed to be looking for what they could get, not what they could give. 
 Creating and building a healthy loving relationship is an attitude.  It is a mindset that expresses our core beliefs about the way we think a relationship should be.  As I said earlier in this series, if the results you have received up to this point have not yielded you the results you are looking for, then something needs to change.
 That change, more than likely, is your attitude.  Very few people want to be around someone who has a poor attitude.  It's draining and repelling.  I have met people who some would call successful but have a crappy attitude.  The result is, people don't want to be around them.  On the other side of the coin, I have met people who have little but their attitude shines like the sun and they attract multitudes of friends.
 Carrying a positive, supportive attitude around with you each day is essential if you are going to attract the right kind of person into your life.  You cannot have a poor attitude and expect that special person to show up in your life and bring you a positive one.  To think this way is naive.
 Take an honest look at yourself.  Is your attitude worth catching?  Ask your employer.  They will tell you the truth.  Better yet, look at your last performance review.  This could be a good way for you to see how others view your attitude.  The attitude you carry at your work, should be the same attitude you carry in your personal life.  If it's not, you may want to ask yourself why this is. 
 Having a good attitude does not mean everything is perfect either.  It means you are choosing to look past the struggles and challenges of the present and not let it bring you down.  Yes, attitude is a choice and it will make all the difference in the world when it comes to you attracting the kind of spouse you desire.
 So, if Mr. or Ms. Right presented themselves today, can you say your attitude would be one they would want to be around? 
 Next week is part 9 in the series of Attracting Healthy Love.
 Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed. 

Attracting Healthy Love ~ Part 7

Remember the list I asked you to make several weeks ago?  Did you do it?  This week, we are going to touch base on your list and what it means to you.  

If you do not have a list made or are unsure of what I am referring to, feel free to go back to the first and second weeks of this series.
 
This is week seven in the series: Attracting Healthy Love.
 
There is power in a written list.  People who are goal setters are well aware of this.  Writing heartfelt things and reviewing them often, tends to have magic in it.  That magic is more of an attraction.
 
Your list should include things that are important to you in finding your special someone.  As a reminder, there should not be anything on the list which includes the words: I do not want or I do not like...  If you have this on your list, remove it immediately.  

As a general rule, 20 things might be too much and 10 might not be enough.  Feel free to be specific, as it is not the same as being picky.  This is your life we are talking about, your lifelong spouse, friend and companion

Too often people sell themselves short in finding what they really want.   They are too afraid they will never find the right someone, so they settle for second or third best.  When they do this, we know how the story turns out.  For a period of time they deal with it.  Then they become frustrated, and finally, they find themselves miserable.

As we grow in maturity and responsibility, so do our needs and desires.  There is nothing wrong with this.  Just make sure your list is as accurate to your true inner self as possible.
 
A few things to remember: In the bigger picture, our bodies, desires and interests can and do change.  That is life.  When I was 21, I had most of the hair I was born with.  By the age of 28, I had very little.  Now, what is left is turning grey!  Oh how lucky I am.

Keep the main things the main things and let go of the insignificants.  If you’re hung up on an exact height and weight and refuse to deviate, you may need a checkup from the neck up.
 

Read your list, out loud, several times a week, even daily if possible.  You need to hear yourself say out loud what you want in a spouse.  Then continue to work on yourself.  Deal with the past and get through the hurts.  You can never be too good for Mr. or Ms. Right.

Next week, we will look at part 8 on Attracting Healthy Love.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed!


 

Part 5 of 7 "Beliefs"

We are now on week 5 of 7 with regard to making our beliefs work for us rather than against us. If need be, go back to the weeks prior and freshen up or reflect back. Doing so will help you to get the most from this week’s message. All past writings can be found on my blog site.

Last week I encouraged you to challenge the why it is you believe those things you wrote down on your list. No matter if you had 5 items written down or 15, they need to be tested. Are they all really yours? My guess is you found some that actually were not. If you did then congratulations is in order. Just the activity of you seeking out where they came from has given you the personal power you need to get rid of them and never take them back. Personal awareness of who we are and how we have become like we are opens the door way to letting go and growing personally.

Now let me remind you that in this process, I am not recommending or suggesting you challenge every belief you have. That is not the point of this exercise. If those things in which we believe help us or bring positive things into our life, they more than likely need not be addressed. This idea of challenging what you believe is to help empower you and break loose those chains that tie you down. Upon doing this, you are likely to experience a new-found freedom within yourself. Maybe it is a small thing or maybe it is something substantial. The point here is to sort through them one by one and put them in their rightful places, all the while you get the benefit of removing those beliefs which have held you back and obtaining those things in life that you long for.


I have always found it interesting the way which we as humans are wired. Most of us hold a deep longing to know the why behind nearly every answer. Think about this for a moment. Every time you and I are told an answer to something that we are interested in, after processing that answer, the very next thing we want to know is why. Primarily because it’s the way God created us. It is the why that helps to set us free and not remain in bondage. This “why” factor is the main reason I am spending a fair amount of time on this subject. There inside of your why, lie the keys to unlocking the changes you will need to make to give yourself the kind of life you want. No, we cannot change the why, nor should we even try. But inside each one of us is the need to know why and once we have that, it becomes far easier to move on and push through to the direction we want to go. So know your why and know it intimately, not for anyone else but yourself because if you don’t get this part of the exercise, the entire process of changing your beliefs to work for you rather than against you will have little impact in your life.

If you now have the why to all of those beliefs you have challenged, you are ready to move forward and begin “replacing them.” Yes, you are going to replace those beliefs with different beliefs, ones that work for you. Let me give you an example of what I am talking about here. If I have believed all rich people are evil and I have now realized the why of this belief, then I can change it with something like this: Not all rich people abuse and take advantage of others, there are many rich people who are very giving and do great things with their money. Then we tell ourselves statements like this out loud daily. In addition to the verbal affirmation, we also need to be looking around us at the evidence to confirm the statement we just made. We make a conscious effort and each day, choose to do this. It will not happen by itself, we must make the effort and stay consistent until we start to believe in this new way of thinking but by doing this, it will give us different results.

Next week, I will share more on verbal affirmations and the power in what we tell ourselves. Until then, have a great Friday and be blessed.

Part 1 of 7: Our Beliefs

Last week I gave you some insight into how what we believe, controls and mostly dictates our life. I said that we are a Prisoner to our Beliefs . If you did not read last week’s message on this, I want to encourage you to go back and read it first before reading this one. In doing so, you will gain a deeper understanding of what we are going to cover this week: Realizing those deep- rooted personal beliefs that hold us back.

Ok, first things first here. Do you truly want to change some things about your life? Do you really want a different outcome than what you have been getting? If you are serious about making some changes, then I have some good news for you: Yes, you can change your life and it will start by changing what you believe. No, I am not going to try to make you believe you can defy gravity or with enough positive thinking you can make it stop raining outside. What I am talking about is you and your beliefs. It has nothing to do with the external but everything to do with the internal.

You and I have developed our beliefs usually by our past experiences; how we were raised and what our surroundings taught us. True, it does not matter if it is wrong or right, it just is what it is. It’s a program that runs in our brains and every time we want to know if something is true or not, good or bad, right or wrong, our minds turn to that old file (what we experienced or were taught or what we saw in the past). It then gives us a belief which results in an answer for what we are seeking. This is the basis of every belief you and I have ever had. It does not matter what the subject is, it just matters we understand every one of us operates from this place.

If you want a different outcome from what you have been experiencing in your life, you will need to change what it is you believe. To do this is not rocket science, nor is it complex. It will, however require that you truly want a different outcome, and make a conscious effort every day to do so. If you can be true to yourself with these two requirements, then yes, you can create a different outcome and get what you truly want out of life. You see, our minds are nothing more than a computer (A darn good one I might add) and as with any computer, it can be reprogrammed. I know, because I have done it and have met many other people who have also done it. Like I said, this is not rocket science, but the process of reprogramming your own computer will not be easy. So if you are going to do this, your desire will have to be strong enough to carry you through the difficult times during the process. Trust me on this, it will be well worth it! I am a living testimony of reprogramming what we believe.

For now, you will need to make a list of the things you want to change about yourself. Yes, write it down. No, a mental list is not good enough, you need to see and read those things which you put on your list. There is power in doing this, don’t take it lightly. Your list might only be a few things or it might be a dozen things. There is no right or wrong here, it’s your list. An example of some beliefs you might put on your list could be: I have always weighed too much so I always will; I don’t deserve to be happy; I know I will never be rich; I have always been this way and always will be; I guess I deserve to be alone.

Go ahead and make your list. What do you believe to be true about yourself but wish you could change? Next week we will dive into part 2 of this re-programming process.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.