At One Point, We Were All Failures

Did you know each one of us could be called a failure?  It's true.  We have failed at many things.

When you and I were babies learning how to stand, we probably fell a lot.  Eventually, after a lot of practice, we learned how to stand, but in the beginning, we were failures.

Once we learned, we tried walking.  Our first step resulted in us falling.  We probably fell more times than could be counted.  We were failures.

As we grew, we wanted to learn how to ride a bicycle.  So, our parents would run beside us, keeping us from tipping over.  Once they let go, we usually fell.  Of course we got back up and tried again but sure enough, eventually we would fall again.  You could say we were failing at riding a bike.

In school, when learning math and reading, we would pronounce a word incorrectly or calculate our math problems the wrong way, and what would happen?  Once again, we were failing.  Granted, we kept trying and learned, but this also brought more failure.   Very few of us got all of our school work 100% correct.

Even when it came time to drive a car, many of us failed.  Remember your first time trying to drive a stick shift?  How many times did you kill the engine?  How many times did you over rev the engine and let the clutch out too fast, resulting in a rather scary quick start?  Turning a corner too soon or waiting too long to use the brakes and then having to press hard so you didn't over shoot the stop sign?  Every one of us have failed in our driving at some point.
 
I could go on, this list could be endless.  We live life, learn and grow based on failures.  We learn from them and they teach us.  I believe every person’s life is a history of failed events, one right after another.  The single most important key is that we learn form those failures and don’t repeat them.  

As a child, no one told us to give up after we fell when we tried walking.  No one said to put the bike back in the garage and just forget it.  No one ever said driving was not important and just drop the idea.  Instead, our parents, teachers or coaches, encouraged us to get back up and try it again. 

As adults, most of us have forgotten this way of thinking.  When did we lose the mindset of, pick your self up and give it another try?  Society seems to be filled with those who are scared of failing.  This could be due to the risk, reputation or even fear of the unknown.  The only time failure is actually failure is when we don’t learn from our mistakes. 

I have watched my youngest daughter take risks and try things over and over again that to me, seemed senseless.  My adult perspective didn’t want to see her fail.  What she has reminded me of is that part of being a child is to not fear failure.

Life really is about failing forward and learning as we go.  We make mistakes and regardless of the outcome, we keep moving forward.  Kids, have this pegged to a tee!  We could learn a lot from kids and their persistence when it comes to not taking failure as defeat.

How many times have we been afraid of failing so we wouldn’t take the first step?  What if you and I never got back up after we fell when learning how to walk?  Life sure would be a whole lot different for all of us!

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Raising Kids With a Healthy Mindset

We are not just raising kids; we are raising moms, dads, business people and tomorrows leaders. Are we giving them all the preparation they need? I have heard countless times we are never quite ready to have kids, let alone raise them. Never ready? There are a lot of things we can get ready for and I believe raising kids is one of them. What we need is the understanding and awareness of what being ready means. There are multiple aspects to raising kids, none which are very easy. As parents, we need to be aware of these aspects and understand how they work and affect us. Our kid’s mental and emotional health is at stake. Doesn’t it make sense that we need to equip them as best we can? It use to be considered enough to love and provide for our kids. That old school way of thinking did not account for our children's mental, emotional and self image. These are rarely spoken of but play a huge roll in raising successful kids. The saying, “We are never really ready to raise kids,” does not set well with me, I could not disagree more. Our society has helped to shape our thinking as the only way to be ready, is financially. Although important, it is far from the only item on the, “being ready” list. What about self love and emotional stability? Positive self talk and parental verbal reinforcement are important. Anger issues, if any, should be dealt with. Ignoring them will not make them go away. Of all these, there is one common denominator and that is, choice. We can ignore these, or work on them but that is a choice. Aside from inherited disorders, there are no predestined elements. We can make them workable and manageable in our own lives so our kids receive double benefits. This introduction is the first of a series on raising kids with a healthy mindset. Kids need their parents, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. The problem is, too many parents are leaving out the last two of the three. Where does a healthy self image come from? It mostly comes from the parents and their surroundings. Are we showing and teaching our kids everything we should be? It could be what we are not doing that causes the most harm and were probably not even aware of it. Next week, we will dive into what it means to be ready. There are multiple things we can do for our kids, so that they can be ready for life and that we program them in a healthy way. I have never met anyone who wanted to be a failure at raising kids. My hope is this series will increase your awareness to be an even more successful parent. Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

What is Reality

Have you heard someone say, “that’s not reality?” To that, ask, “what is reality?” Oddly enough, most people don’t understand what reality is. Is reality the world around us? Is reality our lives as we know it? It has been said that reality is what is factual and true too each of us. Factual and true, if this is the case, what we believe to be true is our reality. Our beliefs, healthy or unhealthy, largely determine our reality. Because of this we all have a slightly different view of reality because we all believe differently. Why is it that some believe making a million dollars a year in income is not reality while others do it? Their reality is different. This does not mean are beliefs can break universal laws. The only place we can find success before work, is in the dictionary. Just as gravity grounds us, universal laws work 100% of the time. It is our reality that works with these laws and makes the difference. What do we believe to be true for ourselves and our life? These beliefs we have total control over. Our self image, confidence, what we expect from ourselves and what value we set on ourselves control a large part of our reality. Association also plays a roll in our reality. Like attracts like so our friends say a lot about how we see ourselves. My mentor years ago had an income well above 100,000 a year. It had been this way for years. It didn’t matter what he did. His strengths worked in his favor, but more than anything, he believed this was what he was worth and how he was to provide for his family. It wasn’t a big deal to him he was actually quite humble about it. His reality was different from most people. Have you ever thought, “I could never make 150,000 a year?” If so, it is because of your belief. You don’t believe you’re worth that much. My mentor not only believed it, he expected it and got it! The beliefs we hold internally can only express themselves externally, which comes in the form of our actions. Your beliefs and reality have brought you to where you are now. If you choose different beliefs, you will create a different reality. Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Part 7 of 7 on The Mindset of Success

Paying the price. What does this mean to you? Last week, I gave you some things to think about when it comes to paying the price for success. Now, be honest for a moment with yourself. Did you have thoughts run through your mind that maybe not everyone pays the price? Maybe there are some who get away without paying a huge price. Did you have these thoughts? No matter who you are, what your age, what your financial position or where you are from, everyone will pay some sort of price when striving to become a success. Yes, those prices may look and feel different. Some may have less work while others take greater risks. Others may not pay the price with money and use their sweat equity but I assure you, a price will be paid. There is simply no other alternative. No get-rich-quick scheme on planet earth will make you a success, nor will any one person make you a success because success on any level, will involve the cooperation and collaboration of other people. Not only will a price be paid, but the price is not negotiable. You can’t reason with it, buy it, barter with it…these things are simply not possible. To become a true success on any level will require sincere commitment, passion and the willingness to grow, change and become. (Hey didn’t we talk about “becoming” in part five of this series?) All these things are part of the price which must be paid. This is why, when I began this series, I spoke about passion in my first few messages. It is passion that will push us through. It is the passion from within that will cause us to do things that may make us look a little crazy to the rest of the world. Passion, regardless of what it is, will give us the fuel to pay the price when the price might not always be fun. Have you dug down deep and thought about what your passion is? What is it that gets you excited and gives you energy? Do you have something in your life that you really want to accomplish or work toward? Do you feel like you are called to do it? Can you see it in your mind? Can you visualize what you want to do? If we are going to be a true success, all of these questions demand an answer. I am not talking about making a lot of money, we have already addressed that aspect. I am talking about taking on a noble cause or working in a very specific direction to become the very best of something in a specific field. To become known as an industry expert at something you are passionate about. Oh yes, you will pay a price to get there. No, you cannot negotiate and take the easy road. I love hearing the stories of great achievers and the price they paid to get where they are. Some I have listened to many times and every time I do, I am inspired in my own walk of what I see my own success to be one day. I am enjoying (although I will admit it is not always convenient) paying the price for what I can one day see my own success to be. I think we all have to, to some degree. It is the “becoming” while paying the price, that consistently defines who we are and how seriously we are taking our passion. Above all, I pray this seven part series has shown you and aided you to realize what real success is and how it is obtained. I hope within you, I have either cultivated those seeds or planted seeds in your life that one day will lead to a harvest. But that decision will be entirely up to you. Not your spouse, not your boss, not the company you work for and not me. It is all up to you and what you do every day from this point forward which will determine your own personal success at whatever level that might be. I wish you nothing but the best on your journey and remember, find your passion, feed it, then follow it, because that is where you will find your own success. Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

Part 6 of 7 The Mindset of Success

Material things, big incomes, fulfillment, and who are we becoming. We have covered a lot of important topics in this seven part series on the Mindset of Success. I am hoping you are getting valuable ideals and thought-provoking discussion from all of this. There are some great topics here that are very enlightening when it comes to success. This is week six of seven in this series and this week and next, I am going to discuss the price that must be paid when it comes to achieving success. So many times, so often, from so many people, I continue to hear things that disturb me regarding achievement and success. There is always someone who has the magic “shortcut” to success. You can find them on late night TV, cable channels and everywhere on the internet. Literally, if you go looking for them you can find them everywhere. I admit, when I was younger, get-rich-quick schemes caught my eye all too often. I wanted to make a lot of money and I really didn’t care how I did it. I even came up with a few crazy ideas (thank God I never followed through on them) of my own that today I laugh about. But as I have matured and grown wiser with time, I have a very different belief of what it truly means to ”pay the price for success.” I heard Jack Canfield (Co-Author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series) say: “if a person is willing to do a lot for a little, one day, he or she can then expect to get a lot while doing very little.” Jack is referring here to paying the price for success. What are we willing to do today that may not pay much of a return right now, but down the road, could pay us back a lot? I have met and spoken with countless people who have made their businesses a success over time. The one consistent common denominator I hear over and over again is that when they started their business, they worked, worked and worked some more for very little pay and in some cases, no pay at all. I know some of you may think this is crazy. To work and work and not get paid? That makes no sense. Yet all across our country and as far back as the biblical days, there are stories of this commitment time and time again. People who sowed seeds, worked and sowed more seeds, followed by more work, to hopefully, someday, reap a harvest from their efforts. This is what paying the price is all about. I will agree that working your butt off and not getting paid for it does not sound like much fun. There are two key elements here that you need to be aware of when you commit the time and energy toward something, realizing your payday may be down the road. The first is that the person who puts in their hard efforts, believe in themselves. They know from deep within, they can make things happen. They have a high level of self confidence and self image. The other is that they have a heartfelt interest in what they are doing. They are passionate about it, they spend time strategizing and dreaming, and feel that one day all of their hard work will pay off. They know what they are doing will make a difference. These two traits make all the difference when it comes to paying the price for success. To a large degree, you could say that people who possess these two traits actually don’t mind paying the price for success. Some even enjoy it. It is their passion, commitment, determination and belief that drives them, even when there are little to no results or benefits from their immediate actions. Others sit back and look at these people and think they are crazy. Why do so much for so little? It makes no sense. Oddly enough, years later, those who aren’t willing to pay the price often want to call the successful lucky, they just got a lucky break. Yet all along, those with the passion, vision and belief paid the price day in and day out, week after week and month after month, regardless of the outcome. Next week, we will wrap this series up with WHAT PRICE YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY if you are going to become a success. Have a great weekend everyone and be blessed.

Part 5 of 7 on the Mindset of Success

Last week, I talked about fulfillment. Can you honestly say that you have this in your life? Have you ever had it? If you haven’t you may even be having a hard time understanding what fulfillment really is. If this is you, it’s ok. It took me some time to grasp at it too. Go back over the material often and let it soak in, any new idea or new concept will take time to absorb, but trust me, it will be way worth it. This week, I want to talk about the person you will become as you gain the mindset of success. Because the mindset is all internal, it will cause us to look at many things in a different way and when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at will change. One of my all-time favorite quotes by Jim Rohn says this: “Learn to work harder on yourself than you do your job.” Why is this? Primarily because of the person you will become. You see, there are many, and I do mean many, outside factors all around us that we cannot change. Things like the weather, the economy, government, inflation, taxes, the way other people treat us, the way our neighbor treats us, the way our boss treats us, all these things we really can’t change. But the one and only thing we can do is change ourselves. We can do this by the way we think, what we believe, and what our philosophy is. These three key components determine who we are right now, the way we were and the way we will be next year. What am I talking about here? I am talking about the person you will need to become if you truly want to be successful, because chances are, you cannot obtain the level of success you want and desire based on your current level of thinking, belief and philosophy. If this were not true, then you would have already reached the success you want. Most people see success as something they get. The fancy cars, the big homes, boats, motor homes, extravagant vacations. While those things can be a way to measure success, the more accurate measurement should be looked at with regard to who the person has become. How have they grown and changed? How have they matured? What is their work ethic like? What is their philosophy, their mindset? These characteristics are key factors and telltale signs of true, solid success. I can only connect one main thing together in both of these scenarios: It all came down to the kind of person they each became based on how they thought, what they believed and what their philosophy was. Everything else, from what I can see, can be put under those categories. True, solid success comes from the internal, not the external, and who we become will make all the difference in the world with regard to how our life works out. If you took an honest look at yourself and where you are right now, could you honestly say that who you are becoming, is moving you closer to the success you want in life? Looking back five years ago, have you grown, changed, in order to move closer to your goal? What steps have you taken recently, even today, to become the success you want to be? Your personal success will always start with YOU and what is inside YOU. It does not start with your past, with your spouse, or even with the economy. It is you, 100% you, because you can choose what you will do today to begin the process of “becoming”. If you haven’t started “becoming” that person, then how do you expect to arrive at your destination? Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

Part 3 of 7 on the Mindset of Success

Last week of this 7-part series, I ended by talking about passion and what passion can do for us.  It can drive us, gives us energy to accomplish great things, go faster and harder.  Yes, passion feeds our bodies and our souls.

We are talking about success.  What is success to you?  In your own life, has success entered in?  If not, will it ever?  If so when?  How will you know it?  All of these questions can be answered with one word:  passion.

If there was ever a strong undeniable common denominator among successful people, it is that each one found their passion and never lost sight of it.  They fed it, defined it, enlarged it and mastered it.  Last week I mentioned that very few people in this world are driven by money and far more are driven by their passion.  No matter where you look, no matter what industry or what business, at the core, there has been a strong passion by which everything has been built on.

Passion really is that strong, that creative and that powerful.  I have read story after story about tasks that seemed impossible and probably were.  But with persistent people and a heart full of passion, the impossible was done.  Our history books are full of these kind of stories.  So, could passion be what success is built on?  I say yes, without a doubt.

I enjoy watching ”Extreme Makeover, Home Edition.”  I remember when the show first began, most people were in shock and disbelief that an existing home could be completely torn down and a new one, twice or even three times the size, could be built in its place in just six to seven days.  Logic says that it can’t be done, it is just not possible.  Yet, time after time, the design team and many, many helpers repeatedly pull this feat off.  Why?  I believe the passion that fuels these people to help the families and give them a new start, something they so desperately need, is one of the strongest driving forces around us.

Is the Extreme Makeover Home Edition successful?  Well, it is a TV show and they only show what they want you to see, so I have no doubt we will never know all that goes on behind the scenes.  But I think we can safely say that they are successful in their accomplishments, direction and working together as a team, simply because we can see the finished product at the end of every show.  Once again, they have done the almost impossible and what has fueled them through all of the sleepless nights, challenges and errors?  Passion!  You can see it in Ty’s face and character every time he speaks.

I do believe underneath every truly successful person you will find passion as part of the foundation which has been laid.  You have to admit, it is a lot easier doing something over and over again if you are passionate about it or are in love with it. 

A friend of mine is a financial advisor.  He has started several businesses over the years and has plans to start more.  He sets them up, makes them profitable and then either sells them or has other people run them while he goes and does it again somewhere else.  Yes, he does pretty well financially, he makes a great income but his passion is not in the making of the money.  His passion lies in entrepreneurship.  He just loves creating businesses out of nothing and has gotten to be pretty good at it.  Yet again, passion wins over the drive to simply make money.

Another topic that fits into the success equation which we have not yet covered, is: fulfillment.  Can we find it and if so, where does it come from?  Have you ever had it?  If you have, you know how rewarding it can be.

Next week, in part 4 of this 7-part series, we will be discussing fulfillment and what it means to you and your success.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Part 2 of 7 on the Mindset of Success

Last week I challenged you to define what success means to you.  Did you do that?  Do you have it written down?  If you really want to make the most of this 7-part series, you will need to have done it so that the material I am sharing with you will have maximum impact on you and what you believe about success.

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”  I have heard this phrase coined many times.  But what does it mean?  Most people think success is simply having a lot of nice, neat, fancy things.  That is what our society would have you believe.  Just get the material things and you will be successful.  Well, I am going to strongly disagree with society for many reasons, but let’s dig into this deeper.

While there is a lot of truth that most successful people do make an above-average income, basing success on income alone is very shallow.  Basing one’s success on the amount of material things they have is being narrow minded.  I say this because I have been around many people who have financed everything they have ever bought and truth be known, they actually owned nothing.  Yet on the outside, they looked very successful.  On the inside though, their lives were a mess.

I have also met and spent time around people who have invested hundreds, if not thousands of hours into themselves in education and personal development and their business.  These types of people look a lot different than most.  The ongoing intense investment into themselves is almost hard to believe for some and not worth it for most.  These people have not focused on the getting or accumulating of things, rather they have focused on becoming someone of great value when it comes to their craft.

I have heard Jim Rohn say, “By becoming a better you, you, will bring more to the relationship and that will make you more valuable.”  The first time I heard this, it changed my thinking.  You mean I have to work on “me”?  That was a paradigm change for me…but I got it, it made sense to me.  Shortly after this mini-revelation, I began to realize that truly successful people are valuable and if I will work on becoming more valuable, then I am working my way to success.  It was another one of those “ahh haa” moments for me.

So maybe being successful is not about getting all the cool stuff.  Maybe there is more.  Maybe it is more about who we become rather than what we get.  Does that mean the becoming comes first and the getting comes last?  Perhaps, but what exactly does the becoming part mean to me?  What do I have to do, what does that entail and what does that look like?

Everywhere I look, more and more people, places and ideas seem to be claiming that simply making a lot of money will bring happiness to your life.  There are business models that promote this.  Books, seminars, newspaper ads and internet sites all say the same thing:  “Are you tired of not making the kind of money you want or deserve?  Well then do I have something for you.”  Does this sound familiar to anyone? 

Every time I see or hear this type of phrase, inside I cringe.  Why? Because once again people are focusing on what they can get, not on what they can become.  Ideas like these are pushing money as the main reason to do something, and money should never be the main thing.  Yes, we all need money to live, eat and survive, but working only for money seems to be a very shallow way to go through life.  Life has so much more to offer than just working to make money.  Yes, for some, money may be a motivator, but by a long shot, those individuals are only a tiny segment of the overall population. 

Working at something you love, something you enjoy, something that you contribute value to and are passionate about, sounds like a much better way to go through life.  In fact, I would be willing to bet any amount of money that the mass majority of people would be far more driven, inspired and motivated by their passion than money.  One person with passion is far more powerful than someone who is simply driven by money. 

So is it passion that moves us toward success?  Perhaps…find out more next week when we go into part 3 in The Mindset of Success.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

7 Part Series on the Mind set of Success... Coming Your Way

So many times I have come across people who think success is about getting and having money and things.  The truth is that nothing could be further from the truth.

On these warm summer afternoons, I often make time in my schedule to go on bicycle rides.  It is great exercise and I am able to have a little “me” time.  During these rides, it is fairly common that my mind goes to a place of deep thought on deep subjects, everything from relationships to creative business ideas.

The other day I could not stop thinking about the mindset of success and all it entails.  For 7 miles on that 11 mile ride, all I could think about was the way in which people view and think about success.  How do they achieve it?  Why is it that only a few people out of the masses seem to have it?  What are the common denominators for success?  All of these questions began to consume me.

Society tends to label success by what you drive, wear and what you live in.  Meaning: how big and fancy those things are.  Personally, I don’t drive a $75,000.00 car that I paid cash for and I don’t live in a 5000 sq ft home.  My bank account does not have 7 digits in it nor does it have 6 digits in it.  But the real truth to success is not in what you have, it is about what you become.

Those I just mentioned are simply things you can acquire being successful, they should not define your success.  If this were not true, does that mean a business owner who makes a million dollars a year and has chosen to keep most of his money, or even give it away anonymously and does not live a lavish lifestyle, is not successful?

Success is not having one, two or three million dollars, nor is it owning several homes.  It is not about wearing a Rolex watch on your wrist nor is it about taking 3-4 expensive vacations a year to exotic locations.  If this were the case, then you could classify every large lottery winner a success.  No, lottery winners revolve around luck, and that is not what success is.

In large, people ‘become’ long before they ever ‘get’.  They do certain activities in a certain way longer and more frequently than others, giving them different results than the masses.  Chances are great they have faced many challenges and struggles along the way and even when things got real tough, they never gave up or changed course.  Why?  Because they developed daily, weekly and monthly habits that have yielded them a higher rate of return than others.

I cannot teach you or anyone else how to make a million dollars a year.  Why?  Because I have not done that yet, therefore how could I teach it?  You and I can only give someone else what we possess.  Oh sure, we can give others our opinions on matters, but most times our opinions are truly not our own, they are someone else’s that we have adopted.  But that topic is for another time.

Over the next seven weeks I am going to share with you some of the lies about success that society in general would have you believe.  There is a profound difference in just making a lot of money and in being successful.  Passion, achievement, fulfillment and ambition are all things I will be covering in this 7-part series.

If you believe success is all about having an abundance of money, you are in for a huge wake-up call.  If you believe having a lot of money will make you happy or fulfilled in your life, you’re mistaken and have bought into someone else’s lie. 

This series will be enlightening for most and an awakening for others.  By the way, I strongly encourage everyone who wants to, to become successful.  But before you do, wouldn’t you like to know what success really is?  After you read this series, you may see things a little differently.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Mothers Day Tribute

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I thought it would be appropriate to share a few thoughts and remind us of a few things with regard to our Moms.

A mom is a nurturer by nature, she holds, cradles and shows affection to her kids and family.  She is the one to whom we go when we are beat up, banged up or bruised.  Moms can bandage us up, take away the immediate pain and send us on our way.  When we need a lunch packed or a dinner made, Mom is there to get the job done.  Dirty clothes… well, moms are dynamite with laundry.  In fact, I have seen my wife take stains out of my daughter’s clothes and make them look better than new.  From a dad’s perspective, I would have thrown them away had she not been around.  Yes, moms are dynamic at so many things.  God has gifted them with strengths and abilities that can leave the rest of us in awe.

In my home, it is my wife who is the master at so many of these things.  She truly is a unique, carrying and loving person who is a wonderful mom to my two daughters.  Every time I think back to my own childhood, I try to remember what my own relationship was like with my Mom.  How did I treat her and how did I talk to her?  Did we laugh together as much as we could have or did I waste time arguing with her?  I have so many great memories of my Mom that I have been able to carry with me over the years.  Those memories have helped me fill the hole that was left in my heart, as she died when I was 22.  Although I was an adult and on my own, I was far from grown up, responsible and mature.  I think those last few years I had with my Mom, I probably learned more from her during this time than the previous 10 years of being a teenager.  But, come to think of it, maybe it was because I was finally ready to listen to her.

Yes, moms are great.  They are special and we need them.  Little boys and little girls need their mom around.  The time that we have with our moms can also be very short.  For me, I had 22 awesome years with my Mom before she was taken from me.  I know there are also many others who have lost their Mom much sooner then expected.  I also know that often, the hole you feel in your heart never really does go away.  I know first-hand what that is like.  If the time you had with your Mom was cut short and the hole you keep feeling just won’t go away, please know that you are not alone.  There are many of us who have experienced this and although we never totally get over it, we can and should remember all the fun times we had together.  Play those videos in your mind of your Mom from your memory.  Look at the pictures of the past and be thankful.  Be thankful for the time you had because to not be thankful is to not appreciate and cherish the time you had.

To every Mom out there, we appreciate and love you.  We are thankful for all that you have done and all that you are.  We are thankful for the warm memories and the laughs as well as the discipline, because all of it has helped us to shape who we are today.  If you are fortunate enough to still have the time to be with your mom, reach out to her and let her know how much you appreciate her.  Many times, I wish I could have had just one more chance to hug my Mom just one more time.  Don’t just give her a card, give her something that no one else can give her: give her your love. 

To every Mom I know, have a great Mother’s Day, you are blessed.  

Guilt

This is part 4 of 7 on a series titled: Healthy Relationships. This week I am covering the subject of guilt. If needed, feel free to go back to my prior weeks and refresh on this topic. This is all about the tools and awareness you need to have a better and healthier relationship with those around you.

How many times have you been talking with someone and because of what that person said to you, you began to feel bad or even a little small? Maybe you started to second guess your actions or your own motives. Then, the more this person talked to you, the more you sensed one or several of these feelings. During the moment when it happens, you’re not really sure what is going on. You can’t quite understand it but shortly after you leave them, you notice that you’re feeling much worse than when you first engaged in conversation with them. Why is this… and more importantly, what is this?

Growing up in a home with an unhealthy father, I experienced and lived through many dysfunctions, guilt being one of them. If my dad wanted me to do something for him and he knew I didn’t want to, he would guilt me into doing it. He would say things that would make me feel bad about me or what I had done or what I was going to do, so that I would have a chance to “make up” for my actions only to please his wishes. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Laying guilt on someone, ultimately, is nothing more than someone trying to overpower you so that you will do what they want you to. It’s control. It is a means of overpowering you, all for their benefit, not yours and it is very unhealthy.

I grew up around this constant behavior. When I was younger, this was normal to me. I had no clue how destructive it was because it was all that I knew. I thought having a dad who made me feel guilty was the way it was supposed to be…that is, until I reached my teen years. Then I could see that this was not normal, it was outright manipulative. In a way, he was using me, playing on my emotions to get what he wanted. It wasn’t until years later did I realize that for many years, I was being toyed with like a puppet on a string.

I would call guilt a dysfunction under the umbrella of manipulation. Using guilt on someone is just one of the many ways we can manipulate another person. We manipulate them to do, say, or even be what we want. Think back for a moment in your own past. When is the last time you had someone try to make you feel less worthy? Who was this person and what was the surrounding? Did you allow them to make you feel worse or were you able to catch on to what they were doing? Take a little time this weekend and think back to those people who try to use guilt on you. Are they family, co-workers or friends? Even kids can use guilt to get what they want. Granted, they have to learn this from somewhere, it doesn’t just show up out of the blue. If kids are using guilt it is because they have learned it. It should be stopped and called destructive behavior. I even had a boss many years ago that would try to use guilt on me so that I would take care of his responsibilities which he did not want to do. Yes, guilt is everywhere, all around us.

I want to encourage you, the next time someone tries to guilt you into doing anything, don’t do it, and don’t fall for it. Take a step back and recognize it for what it is: A power play of manipulation. Then, call them on it. Tell them out loud: “it sounds like you are trying to guilt me into something…is that right?” You may just be surprised at how they react to you after you call them on it. By doing this, they will know that you no longer accept their behavior, nor will you allow them to use you like a pawn for their benefit.

Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

Week 3 of 7 Healthy Relationships...Belittling

Last week, we covered the subject of anger and how it affects us and what it can do to us. If you missed this subject, feel free to either go back, or visit my blog and do an overview on this as it was part 2 of 7 on the subject of living within healthy relationships. This week we are going to go over the subject of belittling, what it is and how it affects others when we do this.

Not so long ago, my eldest daughter asked me what belittling meant. It should have been no surprise I guess, she is at that age where she is asking more and more questions when it comes to complex situations, so I took a moment to share with her what I felt the term meant. In short, I told her that belittling someone is a lot like making fun of someone or even putting them down. I could tell she was internalizing my answer and to an 8 year old, this was a good enough answer. But after she walked away, that voice inside me spoke up and reminded me that there is so much more to belittling.

Belittling is done in several ways. Our words and what we say are just a part of the bigger picture. Often times the tone of our voice in what we say plays a bigger part. I have heard husbands make little comments to their wives that were borderline humorous but the tone in their voice was very destructive. Volume and body language also make a difference in the way we say things. Combine all of these together in just the right combination and the end result is that what we say, no matter how harmless we are intending to be, can be quite destructive and belittling.

Years ago, my wife and I spent some time with a married couple who became good friends of ours. It did not take long for me to realize that the way in which he would speak to her (his wife) was very belittling. In fact, it became so obvious that it soon became awkward to be around them when they were together. His tone, his body language, the volume in which he spoke…all of it was a bit much for myself and my wife. Months later, we had to limit the amount of time we spent with them, simply because of the awkwardness in the room when he spoke to her. Then, over a year later, he asked me why my wife and I did not come around much anymore. So, with gentleness and caution, I shared with him what I was observing time and time again, and to my surprise, he did not even know he was doing it.

I know that both men and women can be belittling, I have seen it both ways. The unfortunate part here is how it makes the other person feel. I am not talking about friendly little jabs or giving someone a bad time, I am talking about repetitive destructive behavior. Even to our kids we need to be aware of what we are saying to them and the manner in which we are doing so. To a degree, when we compare our kids against one another saying things like: “why aren’t you more like your sister or why aren’t you more like your brother” is a form of belittling. It is all in how we say it. A soft and light approach is probably not that hurtful but saying those same words directly to our child in the context of anger and frustration is very hurtful.

The main thing we need to keep in mind is the way in which we are talking to those around us, especially the ones we care the most about. The scriptures say that life and death are in the tongue. Meaning, the words we say either lift people up or they pull people down. I also know that people will also talk down to or belittle others because they think this elevates them somehow. Ironically though, nothing could be further from the truth. Anyone who needs to put someone else down to feel better about themselves probably has other deep rooted issues. One of my favorite quotes that I adopted as my own last year says: blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine any brighter.


Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

Week 2 of 7 - Healthy Relationships

Last week, in my 7-part series, I covered some of the basics around bitterness and resentment. This week we are going to do an overview of anger so if you missed last week’s message, feel free to go back and review before going on to this week’s message. It may help you make the most of the information as a whole.

Growing up with a father who had a lot of anger bottled up inside him was not always easy. Because of his short fuse and throwing fits, often times I feared the man. Not the healthiest viewpoint to have of your own dad! I knew he loved me, or at least I felt that he did, but love and anger are quite different. At times people try to put these two in opposing courts or call them “opposites” but I disagree with that statement. It is very real to love somebody but be very angry with them. In fact, to take this one step further, being angry too much of the time, regardless if you love someone or not, can be destructive.

To a large degree, anger comes from nothing more than when we are faced with a blocked goal or agenda. Whether it is with our kids, our co-workers or family, our human nature wants us to get our own way. Kids are a shining example of this. As parents, we have to teach them compromise, sharing, and what it is to give a little. We are born with our selfish nature of getting what we want, and when we don’t, we can become angry. What’s interesting is that younger kids and some adults can become angry when they don’t get their way, yet there can be 30, 40 and even 50 years difference in age. This alone tells us something: age does not always play a part in maturity when it comes to anger.

I have read and heard it said before that anger is more of a symptom of something deeper than it is anything else. You and I see the anger through other people because it is the reaction of the actual problem. Much like when we have a headache, the headache itself is not the problem. This is your body’s way of telling us that something is wrong. But just like the headache, way too often we want to treat the headache and not the real problem. Unfortunately, our society and culture have adopted this idea as normal. We don’t want to fix the real problem, we only want to fix the symptom. Not an ideal plan for long-term health.

Anger also comes from holding things in and not expressing them or dealing with them. Past hurts, disappointments, or evil doings that had an adverse affect on us. Even emotions that we hold deep inside rather than let go and sort through can plant the seeds of anger inside us. Yes, it comes from many different places and if it is left untouched and not dealt with, the collateral damage this can cause usually will be very destructive. Not just for the person who harbors it, but those around them as well.

To a degree, our culture, our way of life has impressed upon many people that normal emotions and feelings should be suppressed rather than dealt with. Maybe this mindset comes from the previous generation, maybe to some it is a sign of weakness. After all, crying and letting out what’s on the inside is still not widely accepted. So we bury it deep down inside ourselves hoping it will go away. When in fact, it does not go away but rather it manifests itself and grows, usually coming out as anger some point down the road. I have read that many times, it is years and years of bottling up past hurts which later in life cause anger and even health issues.

Admitting you have an anger issue is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength, even a sign of intelligence. When we ask for help, or seek for further understanding, we are admitting the level of understanding we currently have is no longer sufficient. Anger is a symptom of something deeper. If you can see this and recognize it for what it is, then you have started down the path to healing, while increasing your own awareness of who you truly are.

Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

Week 1 of 7 - Healthy Relationships

This is the 1st week of my 7 part series on unhealthy relationships. This week, I am covering the topics of bitterness and resentment and how they affect us. I would encourage you to keep this series and reflect back on it as needed. While this message may not give you the answers you seek today, reflecting back a few months from now may give you the answers you are seeking to find.

Bitterness and resentment often times share a lot of the same characteristics and is not hard to see. When we witness someone acting out verbally toward another person who has hurt them, it’s obvious isn’t it? You have a conversation with one of your best friends and you are listening to them carry on about how their ex-spouse has hurt them or made them feel, months, even sometimes years after the hurtful event has taken place. As you listen to the tone in their voice, you can tell, can’t you? Their voice gets a little louder and their body language changes. They hold some form of bitterness and/or resentment toward there ex-spouse. All too often, it cannot be ignored.

I am not talking about just a hurtful memory here, I am talking about a feeling and an emotion that is pulled up from memory and creates anger within. This is holding onto bitterness and resentment in its finest form. Another way to explain it, that I have often heard, is: “skeletons in the closet”. Either way, there is some unfinished business that should and needs to be dealt with. Unfortunately, too many times people either do not see they hold the resentment or they just do not want to get over it. It’s almost as if they think that carrying around the bitterness will somehow get back at that person who scorned them. Nothing could be further from the truth.

When we hold resentment and bitterness in, it does NOTHING to the other person. To think otherwise is absurd. The only person it is affecting is us. It affects our health, our attitude, it steals our joy and peace. Plus, it has a tendency to consume our thoughts. It is as if our brain is trying to make us believe that if we hold onto the bitterness long enough, the other person who hurt us will get sick. Ironically enough, it is us who hold the negative thoughts that will get sick. You could say that this is karma at its finest.

Dealing with hurtful, past events is essential if we are ever going to be able to move on emotionally and mentally. I know for me, years ago, there was a time when I would think about how much hurt my dad caused my entire family. I would find myself becoming tense, angry, mad and just wanted so badly for him to pay for all the damage he had caused. What I didn’t see was I was carrying with me the seeds of destruction! Later, I came to realize this (with some help) and it moved me to let go of the bitterness and deal with it. Was it easy? Absolutely not! Did it involve facing something I didn’t want to? Yes it did, but I had to do it. I had had so much hurt, sadness and destruction in my life that I desperately wanted to find peace and happiness. My guess is most everyone is like that. They have to reach a point where they are ready for a change before they will make a change.

Bitterness and resentment should be signs that tell us we have unresolved hurts from the past to deal with. Most of the time, when we do not deal with these, they will grow and could get out of control. Don’t let this be you! If you sense that you are harboring bitterness and/or resentment, admitting it is always the first step. Acknowledging the issue at hand is also 40% of the battle in fixing it.

Removing these destructive feelings / emotions from your life will assist you in reaching a new life. It will not be easy. I know because I was there, but I also know how rewarding it is to be released from the bondage it can hold over us.

Next week, we will be touching base on anger, so until then, have a great weekend everyone and be blessed.

Friday's Thoughts

This is the first week of a seven part series where I will be covering healthy relationships. The purpose of this series is to shed some light on some destructive behaviors that are all too often found in relationships. My goal and target of writing about this is simple: to bring some awareness to those finding themselves in destructive relationships and what they can do about it.

The views, ideas and things I will be sharing with you, I do so from my own place of growing up in a dysfunctional family that had its own share of destructive elements. I do not have a degree in psychology; human relations or human behavior. I am simply one person who has lived and experienced what it is like to grow up in a house filled with anger, bitterness, resentment, manipulation, guilt and constant enabling.

In addition to all of that, believe it or not, there was also a lot of love shown which made my whole world growing up very complex because I was constantly receiving mixed signals. So no, I am not a shrink nor am I a counselor. What I have done is lived and grown through these seven areas of unhealthiness in relationships. Yes, I chose to heal and grow through all of these and by doing so, I have become a better person. Because of this, I am always happy to share with others the mechanics of those self destroying behaviors and shed any light on the subject that I can.

My hope for you is that after reading and following this series, you will never look and view your relationships in the same way again. Upon completion of this, my prayer is that you will take the necessary steps to choose and strive towards having healthier relationships with not only those you love, but those all around you. In my own life, many years ago, I made that choice and what I can tell you is by doing so I have brought an unimaginable amount of freedom and peace into my life. I made the changes (and no, they were not easy) and never looked back, leaving those who were constantly pulling me down, behind me to continue to dwell in their own destructive behavior. Again, this was not easy and yes, it was even uncomfortable.

I share all of this personal information about me, with you, to say this: This series will be more about you, than the person sitting next to you. It is about being responsible to the one person who needs responsibility more than anyone else and that is: you. Be responsible for you and your decisions. Not your spouse, not your parents and not even your grown kids. One of the hardest things to understand is that when people are finally ready to hear a message and are finally ready to make a change in their life, they will… but not before then. Not when you are ready, not when you think they are ready, but when they are ready and not a moment sooner.


So what can you do with all of this? Take this information in and let it manifest itself within you. Refer back to it from time to time. Read it over and over and let it become a part of your beliefs onto how you look at people. There will be parts of this series where I am going to bring up thoughts and feelings that may touch a nerve and may make a few people uncomfortable. I do not apologize for what I am going to share with you because it comes from my own perspective and my own experiences. I have no guilt trips to cast upon anyone. If you don’t like what I bring to the surface, then I want to encourage you to ask yourself why. Not for me, but for you.

Next week, we will start off by taking a look at bitterness and resentment and what they do to us and how they affect us.

Until then, have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

Friday's Thoughts

Due to demand, next week, I am going to start a 7 Part series where we will do an overview of living in healthy relationships. Much like we need to have a healthy body, healthy activities and a healthy mind, we also need to have the same in our relationships.

Years ago, I had a wake-up call to the number of relationships all around us that consist of guilt, manipulation, anger, bitterness, resentment, belittling and enabling. Some may have only one or two components of these, while others may have more. Either way, any relationship that holds any of these characteristics in it, are not healthy and can cause or will add personal destruction.

I am going to take one of these dysfunctions each week and do an overview of them and discuss exactly why these take place, why people allow them into there relationships and what you can do to end this destructive behavior.

So stay tuned, next week we will kick off week one and cover the basics of these destructive behaviors. Hopefully this will shed light on what some refer to as a “dark subject”.

Until then, be blessed and have a great weekend everyone.

Staying Persistant

Working with and being around as many people as I do, I am fortunate enough to hear a lot of great stories about people’s lives and their struggles. I have always enjoyed hearing listening to those “defining moments” when someone’s life could have went several different ways and quite frankly, I never seem to get tired of hearing about peoples lives.

I have heard stories about what it was like being raised by parents who made it through the great depression (and their beliefs and behaviors because of that) as well as what it is like to be married to the same person for 60 years. Years ago, I heard a story about a little Girl who had the privilege of sitting on her great, great Grandfather’s knee for the first time when she was just four years old. Only days before he passed away. Rarely do I ever hear the same story twice and always enjoy those times when I am told about a small piece of time from someone’s life. With these stories...there often seems to be a "turning point" or a "fine thread" that has held someone’s life together while they were going through or enduring an event that was in their life’s path.

Our history books are full of stories about men and women who have gone through great trials and struggles on their life’s journey. We can pick up a book and read about them almost anywhere. Yet, the common denominator with the ones who overcame and came out on top were that they all seemed to persist, no matter what happened to them or what they had to go through. Just the other night, I was watching a TV show called: "I Shouldn’t Be Alive". There were several stories of people who were faced with life and death challenges and when all the odds were against them, they still overcame and chose life, all because they took one more step and persisted. Now I am sure this is not the case for every single person, but this common thread of persistence, demands further attention.

A few examples here are the real life stories of average people who refused to give up and more importantly, they refused to give up on themselves. Time and time again we can look back and see where persistence paid huge dividends. Truth be known, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Kernel Sanders, Babe Ruth, Winston Churchill and Walt Disney, were all failures. Many, MANY times they tried and worked and pushed to only be rejected, and were met with disappointment. The one thing every one of them did, regardless of what happened to them, they persisted and continued to move forward! Back in their days, few people knew of these great men. Today though, everybody knows who they are and what they did, simply because of one common trait: persistence.

Jack Canfield, the Co-Author of Chicken Soup for the Soul approached 124 publishers before he finally found one that said yes to his book. Today, the Chicken Soup for the Soul series has reached millions of homes all over the globe and has been printed into 54 different languages. Back then, no one really knew who Jack Canfield was, but today everyone knows of his Chicken Soup for the Soul series, largely due to his persistence.

I know it is easy to become frustrated and want to quit. When I was younger, I quit several things. But as I grew up, I realized that the price for giving up too soon was very costly and, in some cases, could be life altering. If all of those men I mentioned had given up too soon, what would our world look like today? How different would we be living? Sure, other people may have stepped in and filled their roles, but because they persisted, you and I get to enjoy the fruits of their accomplishments. Overall, I think there is everything to gain by being persistent and there is everything to lose by not.

In tough and hard times, above all, persist. If you think about it, the other choice (quitting) is not really a choice at all. If you will keep pushing forward, no matter what comes your way, no matter how bad it seems, as long as you don’t quit, the only thing that can eventually happen for you is success. Thousands and thousands of men and women before us have already proven that persistence pays off. So go ahead…keep going... persist! Your reward is waiting for you!

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Adding Value to Others

Something I have come to learn and understand about raising two daughters is that it is not always easy. Rewarding? Yes, very much so, but it has brought along its fair amount of challenges. With both of my daughters currently being under the age of ten, I am already trying to instill in them what it is to have chores and pick things up after they use them, putting their clothes where they belong and just teaching them responsibility. Personally, I don’t think there is too young of an age to teach this, we just need to make sure that, as parents, were are not being unrealistic in what to expect from them.

My Mom and Dad taught me how to work and how to be responsible fairly early in my life. I am so thankful for this because as I became a teenager and entered the work force, it was easy for me show up on time and do the best job I could, wherever I was working. Calling in sick was just something I don’t ever remember doing. I am sure I did once or twice, but I never used that as an excuse to not go to work. In the words of my dad, “You signed up to do a job, by golly you better be there to do it.”

As I get older and continue to learn more about life and the world around me, the more I realize there is a big element kids need today that even I was not taught growing up. In fact I don’t even recall ever hearing much about it until I was in my late twenties and even then, still did not totally understand what it was and how it affected me. High schools don’t teach it. I am not even sure many colleges teach it. What I am talking about here is adding value: value to our employers and value to the people that we serve. But what does this term really mean? What does it mean to add value to others?

When we add value to somebody we are going above the standard of what we are called to do. Adding value can also come through our willingness or our perception of things. Our personal efficiency at a task could be considered adding value. Some would say it is a lot like being an over-achiever. All of these things bring value to others, no doubt, but to take this a little deeper, what I am talking about here is a mindset and an attitude to back it up.

Unfortunately, our society is making a shift toward the mindset of: “what’s in it for me.” I hate to say it but it is true. Taking on a mindset of adding value to others is completely contradictory to this selfish way of thinking. When I hear our younger generation say this, I respond with, “Everything is in it for you if you will understand it is not about you”. Adding value is about giving, not about taking and when we give more to others than they are expecting, we build them up and help to increase them. In return, by building them up, we are also building ourselves up at the same time. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we grow when we give more and add value to someone else.

Take this next week and think of ways you can add more value to someone around you. How can you build them up and help them to succeed? Even if it is only in a small way, bringing more value to someone will come back to each of us, once we have given it. Then, as we bring more value to others, we become more valuable. It’s a win / win circle. Not only that, people like to be around givers, they don’t usually like to be around takers.



Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Week 7 of 7 on changing our beliefs.

This is the last week of my 7 part series on how to change our beliefs. Feel free to go back and review over all seven weeks and recap all of this information. Myself, I have found that reading things over and over, substantially increase the rate at which I am able to retain what I read.

A few key points you and I need to never forget is, our beliefs control every aspect of our lives. Everything we say or do, how we act, how we dress, even the people we hang around with. All of this is directly tied to our beliefs, so don’t think it doesn’t matter, because all of it matters. It’s all tied together and directs our lives. Thus having a belief about our self or about our life which is not healthy will cause our lives to have an outcome that is less favorable than what we desire. A great example of this: just recently, a friend of mine came to me and admitted he now realizes that he is not the strong salesman he thought he was. For years, he had believed he was a great salesman so he pursued sales jobs. Over time though, he has found, after having several sales jobs, he was not the dynamic salesperson he thought he was. It was simply his belief about himself that led him down a path which equaled some disappointing setbacks. It took failure from those jobs for him to realize that his belief about himself was doing more harm for him than good.

Allow yourself to make the necessary changes you need. Plain and simple: you have to let go of what you know now to get something more than you ever thought you could have. This is essential. I also know it is one of the hardest things to do. The only way change comes easy for us, is when it is our own idea. If I, or your spouse or your boss or your family member wants you to change, it will be difficult. So allowing yourself to change and adapt to a new way of thinking, ensures your success to do so. When doing this, keep in mind that your old belief, the one which you are working on replacing, will try very hard to stay in control and direct your life. In fact, it will throw a big enough fit, that there will be an internal battle take place between what you’ve always known and that which you are wanting. This is where the wanting to change will be your golden key. Without the want, it will be way too easy to lose sight of the goal and turn back to familiar territory.

The last point to know here is that, along with change, opposition will come, especially if there is a big reward at the end. To think otherwise is naive. Mentally, emotionally and physically, all three of these will push back as you make changes for yourself and your life. Expect it, know it and just accept it. Don’t fight it. Fighting it does no good and will only waste your time and energy. Instead, learn how to roll with it. Understanding that with change and challenge, life has a way of testing us and making us prove we want something better, that we are willing to fight for it and not give up. The opposition you will get does NOT mean you shouldn’t do it and it does not mean you are heading in the wrong direction, its just life’s way of testing you to see how serious you are, about

wanting something better. All too often though, people mistake the opposition as a roadblock and so they return to what they have always known, which is their comfort zone. An unfamiliar gravel road is far from a road block, it is just a different-looking road that is not yet paved. Go ahead and take it, don’t be afraid. That new road is there for you. Let it feel weird, let if feel different, that’s ok. There is a great reward waiting for you near the end of this new road so don’t give up too soon.

Now, put some action behind changing your beliefs. Take that next step. Put action into your plan and move forward. You now have what is needed to make the changes you seek. Don’t worry about having everything perfect and all lined out. Start today and as you go, you can make those adjustments or additions along the way because NOTHING will change for you until you take action.


Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Part 6 of 7 on our Beliefs.

This is part 7 of 8 of making our beliefs work for us rather than them working against us. If need be, go back and re-read the prior six lessons on this subject. Doing so will help you to make the most of this and grasp the bigger picture.

Last week I challenged you with two different tasks. The first was to find the root of why it was you believe what you do because it is the why that will help to set you free. Secondly, once you found the why, you then need to replace that belief with something different, a new phrase or even a (re-worded) affirmation to help you change what you believe.

At this point, we have addressed a handful of things you need to make the changes in order to believe something different. There is only one more piece to this equation that you will need, in order to believe in a way which will work for you and not against you. It is probably the most important piece so I have decided to save it for last, and that is: ask God to help you with your transition.

No, I am not talking about religion here or joining a church, I am talking about genuinely asking God to help you change your life for the better. After all, you are making some improvements in your life and seeking help from a source who truly cares about you and your well-being is a good idea. I lean on Him often for help and the transformation I have personally gone through over the years still leaves me in awe of what He has helped me accomplish. I look at it a lot like a Father / Son role. If you are a Father, don’t you want the best for your kids? Don’t you want them to make better choices? Doesn’t it make you feel good when your kids trust in you and seek you for help? Asking Him to help you can make a night and day difference as you move toward making the needed changes in your life. Don’t be afraid of doing this, just like a Father hopes his son or daughter will seek him for help, so also, does God.

Now we have to apply and combine these concepts and ideas to we have been talking about over the last 7 weeks and put some action to them. For it is the action that will start the process of change. Then you will need to expect things to happen. Don’t wish for them, don’t hope for them, but expect them. Know that you are worth more than what you think you are worth right now. Believe in you and believe that God will help you change. Stay focused on all of those steps and ideals we have covered. Upon taking the first step, you will find that the following steps will become easier. Mainly because success builds success and added success increases your confidence level, which empowers you to stay the course. Just like when NASA launches a space shuttle, it is the very first 18” of lift that require a tremendous amount of energy to even make it leave the earth. This is a lot like you and me when we begin to make significant changes in our lives. It takes a serious amount of effort and focus to get the process going. But like the space shuttle, once we are on our way, it becomes 10 times easier to keep going.

Next week, we will finish this series and I will leave you with some key information you will need regarding your beliefs.

Until then, have a great Friday and be blessed.