Expectations & Communication ~ Part 10

What are your expectations regarding Mr. or Ms. Right?

This is part 10 in the series of Attracting Healthy Love.

It has been said that some of the most brilliant ideas are also some of the most obvious.  I would say that communicating your expectations falls right in line with this.

Although communicating your expectations will probably not be something you do right off the bat when dating, but it will be vital if you can see yourself long-term with this person.  Because of this, sharing your beliefs and coming to a mutual understanding on certain topics is essential.

I have heard stories about couples who got married and failed to discuss financial matters, having or raising children, beliefs in God, family values and individual goals beforehand.  I can’t understand how things of such importance were overlooked, but they were.  Don’t let this be you.

Here are several things to consider: how does each of you view money?  Do you save or spend?  Do both of you like / want kids?  If so, how many?  What are your individual parenting styles?  Will God be a part of your marriage?  Where will you attend church?  Have you clearly shared your dreams, goals and aspirations with each other?  Will you live where you currently are or is re locating an option for the future?

Another area which is often not communicated is sexual expectations.  Although this can be a difficult area of discussion, it is important.  Past partners (if any) can sometimes set standards that may or may not be realistic for Mr. or Ms. Right. 

Society, certain magazines, pornography and Hollywood-like influences can also create unrealistic expectations.  Be aware of this.  The pressure to be a sexual superstar runs high in our culture.  Communicate your feelings and thoughts from the beginning.  Then there is never a void between the two of you.  If you can talk openly about sex, chances are you can talk about everything else that is important.

Your best policy is to keep the line of communication open right from the beginning with regard to what you hold sacred, what you value and what your non-negotiables are.

Make sure you are able to share your frustrations and concerns.  The art of genuinely listening is rare and should be held in high regard.  Most times people don’t want an answer, they want to be heard and understood.  Make sure your special someone is a listener.  The last thing anyone wants is to be fixed after going through a tough day at work.

Of the marriages that fail, a lack of communication is generally at the heart of the problem.  If you can master heartfelt communication early on, you will substantially increase your odds of attracting and keeping healthy love.

Next week is part 11, the final chapter in this series of Attracting Healthy Love.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.