Always Changing

Friday's Thoughts often talk about change and there’s good reason for it:  we live in an ever-changing world. 

When I was younger, I didn’t understand this. I thought certain things would always be the same.  To some degree, this gave a false sense of security, thinking I would always be ok once I got in my routine.  What I have come to find over the years is that nothing could be further from the truth.

Everything around us is evolving and changing, everyday, all the time.  Have you heard the term, if you’re not growing you’re going backwards?  There is a lot of truth to that.  Everything around us is in a slow movement of being more different today than it was yesterday and we need to be aware of this.

Yesterday the stock market was either higher or lower than it is right now.  Buildings being built are now closer to being completed.  Kids in school are more knowledgeable today than they were yesterday.  People, pets, grass and plants have all grown.  Essentially, there is nothing that stays exactly the same.  Once we realize and accept this, our life can take on deeper clarity. 

As a sales person or business owner, we already understand some months will be better than others.  Facts are facts.  Things change and often there is nothing we can do about it.  So what’s the best medicine for an ever-changing world?  Be flexible and change with the times.

We live in a different economy than it once was.  Our kids are older, our jobs require more from us.  Maybe our spouses need more from us today than yesterday.  Traffic has increased while prices have gone up.  Maybe we put on a few more pounds, our hair line is continuing to recede or it’s turning grey. 

If you and I will embrace change, our success can be far greater than we would have ever known.  Many years ago, I heard a billionaire speak at a conference and he said, “great success is not near as much challenge, as it is change.” 

What can you do different today that will use change to your benefit?  Learn to be flexible.  Just because you have always done things a certain way does not mean you have keep doing it that way.  And remember, just because you think it will never change, doesn’t mean it won't.  Even a body in a coffin is… well, you get it.

Have a great changing weekend, be blessed.

Kids, Politics & Beliefs

Are you involving your kids in your voting? Such a simple question may not come with a simple answer.

Each of us talk and act based on what we believe to be true. Whether it be people, places, religion or even politics, all of us act out our beliefs.

Recently, my eldest daughter brought a few questions that were thought provoking.  Her fourth grade class has been discussing the upcoming Presidential election, the candidates and the different parties.

Her questions were sincere, honest and that of an unbiased opinion (which is rare in itself).  In the past, we had discussed such things but not at the level she was asking.  It was clear that the time had come to start teaching her about politics and Government.

Overall, I am not interested in partisan politics.  It is an argument that could go on forever.  I’m referring to one’s core beliefs about why they think one candidate is better than the other. How what we believe causes us to make choices accordingly, which helps determine who we will be voting for.

Religion, personal interest and even political affiliation are largely inherited.  That is, we follow the footsteps of those who have programmed us.  Parents, family or someone who is an authority in our lives.

Parents always want what’s best for their kids.  But what determines what is best?  Our beliefs determine what is best but that does not mean those beliefs are healthy or favorable.  We can only teach our kids what we know and understand. Why does one person believe the Democrats have all the right answers while the guy across the street is convinced the Republicans do?  It’s all because of what we believe to be true.

Most of the time, there is nothing wrong with teaching our kids our persuasion.  But if we truly want the best for them, shouldn’t we take it deeper?  What about teaching them core values?  Why not teach them that our Government’s choices have brought the country to the place where it is currently?  And, if those results are not favorable, then moving forward, the choices need to be different.  You do realize choices always equal an outcome… right?

Seek wisdom when doing this. If we truly want a better tomorrow, we have to start with the healthy programming of our younger generation.  That is, it starts with us, right now, today.  Not brainwashing, rather healthy beliefs and understanding.

How we interact with our children when it comes to understanding our Government and the democracy we live in, will define the tomorrow we help create.  Choose wisely, your choices today are creating your tomorrow.

Have a great weekend, be blessed.

It's Ok... Dream big - Part 2

Who is the most important person in your life?  Who should you put first and be true to above all others?

The answer may surprise you.  No, it’s not your spouse, nor is it your parents.  It’s not even your kids. It’s you!

You are going to live with you your whole life. The short 80-90 years we are given can be lived with bliss, joy and truth but only if you make you a top priority. I’m not talking about being self absorbed, narcissistic, or selfish.  I’m talking about believing in your self.

Do you put your self first when it comes to your dreams and goals?  Those ideas you have, the images held in your mind of you accomplishing a dream… if you don’t make them a priority, who else will?

Last week, we covered the issue of being laughed at and others making fun of our dreams. Typically, this causes self doubt.  Well-meaning people who sometimes genuinely care, offering their unsolicited thoughts and advice, can affect us the most.

Here’s a reminder all of us need to hear from time to time: Others probably don’t think much of you because they don’t think much about you. 

You were born unique.  There has never been nor will there ever be another you.  Don’t expect your co-workers, neighbors or even family members to understand you because chances are they won’t.  On a side note, most don’t even understand themselves.  To some degree, the majority of us are trying to determine if we can truly believe in ourselves.

Your dreams, goals and aspirations… they are yours!  The only way someone else can take them from you is if you give them up.  Why would you want to do that?  Even if you don’t have clarity or fully understand why you have a passion for what you do, there is a reason for it.   

Often, our dreams are tied to getting something.  Maybe you wish to buy a home, take an exotic trip or start a business.  Of course there is nothing wrong with getting things, I think all of us need a reason and sometimes material things to keep us pressing on through thick and thin.

The bigger reason for having them is not for the getting, it’s for the becoming.  That is, who we become while stretching, working and reaching for the dream is far more important in the long run than actually getting it.  The late Jim Rohn said it best: It’s not what you get that makes you valuable; it’s what you become that makes you valuable.

It’s ok… dream big!  Go ahead, I dare you.  What is inside you that wants to blossom? What have you wanted to pursue but have never taken the first step?  What is it that crosses your mind from day to day and leaves you feeling inspired and ready to tackle anything?  Chances are this is what you need to go after and move toward.   All the while, becoming the type of person needed to achieve the goal.

Let yourself change and let yourself become a little uncomfortable because if it is worth while, chance are, you will have to.  Your dream is waiting!  Take the action and move toward it.

Don’t let anybody steal your dream.  Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Consequences to Your Choices

As we discussed last week, our life is a direct result of the choices we make as well as the consequences from those choices.

It is true:  85 – 90% of what happens to us each day, we have no control over.  This is why life is a lot about attitude.  A positive attitude ensures our success in dealing with life’s curve balls.

But what about the other 15 – 20% of life, the part we do have control over?

This part is equally important to the results we obtain.  Here is where our choices help or hinder.  It’s where we move closer to peace, prosperity and goals, or further away.  Here, is where our personal and working relationships increase or decrease, all based on choices. 

Every action has a consequence.  To not think so, is naïve.

Too often, when making choices, the consequences are overlooked.  Classify this as unintended consequences.  Local, state and federal government fall into this category.  Sadly enough, it doesn’t necessarily have to be this way.

Unfortunately, too often people lack the awareness of how their choices affect themselves and others.

If you show up late for a commitment you’ve made, you are devaluing the other person’s time.  If a team depends on you to fulfill duties and be accountable and you don’t, essentially you are disrespecting the entire team and their purpose.

Eating processed foods for breakfast instead of oatmeal has health consequences.  Procrastination, lack of planning and being disorganized all hold unfavorable consequences.

Don’t think it doesn’t matter.  I assure you it matters, because how you do the little things, is how you do the bigger things.  Large or small, all of it counts and creates consequences.

If an employer is paying you to perform a job and you fail to bring them the results they desire, the underlying issue is not in the results, it’s in the actions.  Change the actions and you will get different results.

Lastly, if you are to grow in maturity, responsibility and humility, you need to accept that your choices have brought you to the very spot you are right now.  Not your spouse, your parents, your income nor your boss.  YOU have brought YOU to where you are and are reaping the consequences, good or bad.

Every choice you make is done so of your own free will.  You were not forced to get up this morning.  No one held a gun to your head and said you will go to work today.  You chose to do so.  More than likely it was because you did not like the consequences of the other choice.  There is nothing wrong with that, just be aware, you still chose.

The next time you make a choice, think about the consequences it will bring and if the outcome will be favorable in order to move you in the direction you want to go in life.

Choose wisely friend.

Have a great weekend, be blessed.      

Finding Your Calling ~ Part 4

People come in and out of your life for certain reasons.  Do you know why?

This week is part 4, Finding Your Calling.

It has been said that coincidences are when God wants to remain anonymous.  In my own life, many people have come and gone over the years.  At the time it was a mystery as to why this would happen.  Looking back it is pretty clear. 

Each person who came into my life brought with them (besides their kindness, love and friendship) a uniqueness and qualities I needed.  Your life is the same way. If you’re open to see it, you will.  If you can't, it could mean you've never looked at it that way. 
 

When people come into your life, they bring with them answers.  Those answers are found through the relationship you have with them.  Looking even deeper, all that you seek can be found through relationships with the right people.  Answers are not found in things, they are found in people.

Yes, you can learn a lot through books, on line courses and audio / video tutorials, I sure did.  But relationships were at the core of every corner turned and ah ha moment I ever had. 
 
Who is in your life today that could have answers to what you’re looking for?  Maybe it is a co-worker, a boss, a new friend whom you met recently.  Wealth, health, influence, mentors and knowledge are not far away, they are more then likely a relationship away.
 
Like attracts like.  That's the way our world works.  Those who like to go fishing, hang out with other fisherman.  Those who like to give back, invest time with others who also give.  When we go into search mode, we also tend to attract others who are searching. 

This means we can learn from those relationships.  Both can bring value to the other.  Even if it is learning what we don’t want in a relationship, there is value in that.
 
Right now, there is someone or maybe even a few someone's who can help you find the answers to what you are seeking.  You don't necessarily need to go looking.  Chances are, they are in or around your life right now, you just don't know it.
 
Today, observe who is in your life that you may be able to sit with and question.  Our society is filled with people who don't care to listen, but only want to talk.  Imagine what clues you could hear if you focused on listening more and talking less.  What keys might your friends tell you that previously, you had not known?
 
Lastly, start asking questions.  Then listen with expectation.  Not for what you want to hear, but what is really being said.  There are clues all around you to what you’re passionate about.  Ask first, listen second. 

Next week, we will take a deeper look into resources you may not be aware of that can help you find your calling.
 
Have a great weekend everybody, be blessed.

Loss

Looking back on our lives from time to time is and can be a healthy thing to do. Reflecting helps us to see where we have made both good and not so good choices. Successes and setbacks, love and loss, happy times and sad times, all of these, you and I can learn from (if we choose to) and use them as a springboard for the future. The one thing thing though that you and I will experience and continue to go through no matter how old, how young, rich or poor, is loss at various stages of life.

The losses we have endured are not always fun to talk about. Most all of us would agree it to be a negative topic and one that we rarely discuss in open. Loss is part of everyday life and although it can stir up strong emotions, there is a lot we can learn from what loss does to us and how we can grow from it. Loss comes in many different forms. There is the loss of a spouse, child, pet, losing money, a limb, a job, a best friend, income, jewelry, sight or hearing, a neighbor, a home, a Grand parent, a soldier in the military, an aunt or uncle. Even in the ancient text, in the very first recording of humans, Adam and Eve lost their privilege of living in the Garden that God provided for them. Loss is everywhere, isn’t it?

I bet if we were to take fifteen minutes and make a list, it would astonish us as to how much loss we have dealt with. What, though, does all of this loss tell us? What does it say? I know people who seem to go from one loss to another to another before the first loss can even be healed from. When you really think about it, why is life filled with so much of it?

A good friend and mentor of mine said, “It is not easy being human.” To that I would have to agree. It isn’t easy, or always pleasant, and it is not always fun. But I don’t think that life was ever meant to be that way. Going back to that story in the first days, Adam and Eve experienced some of the same loss that you and I do today. Could it be that loss is by design? If so, then why? Many books have been written on this topic. Many professional speakers, Pastors and Preachers have spoken on this topic. It has been addressed from the beginning. So if loss has been around that long and appears to be by design, what are we to take from it and do with it?

The only thing I personally can say about this topic is that there is reason to believe that while we are healing from losses in our life, maybe we are supposed to learn some things as well. I have no magical answers here, nor was I there in the early days but humans are learning creatures. We can think on our own, make decisions based on information available to us, and seek more information. That can very well set us at the top of creation with all of our unique and individual abilities. We learn and grow (change) from experiences everyday, every time, in every facet of life. Could that mean we learn from loss too? I say astoundingly, yes!

Loss teaches us about the value of life and all that is in it. We tend to become more thankful and grateful after we have suffered some kind of loss. Why? Because we realize what we once had and how truly important it was to us. Life tends to take on a new meaning after we have suffered loss. Many times people will come to realize those things which are truly important and those which are not. Our hearts can also grow fonder of people around us, and humbleness can set in as well.

Overall, we realize no matter what we have, it can and sometimes will be taken from us. There are no guarantees that the people you love and care about will be around tomorrow. None of us own the crystal ball of life. What we can do is accept, appreciate, love and be thankful for what we have in our lives right now, today. Loss is coming, I promise you. There is no avoiding it and there is no running from it. We might as well learn to deal with it and grow from it so that we can help, support and be a better friend to those around us so when they deal with those unfortunate events of loss, we can be there for them.


Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.



Scott Stewart

Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.

scott@lovelossandgrowth.com

The 5 Love Types

There is no doubt marriages take a lot of work. The day to day pressures our lives can be under have a way of weighing on us over time. Often, it is easy to forget what our spouse may or may not need. I guess you could say the “comfort zone” is way too easy to fall into when we are simply trying to get through the daily grind and stay up on our responsibilities.

Recently, I have been studying the five love styles commonly referred to as “love languages.” These are essential yet very simple ways in which each of us can give and receive love. We are all born with a style. What intrigues me the most is that every one of us operates from a certain style (a primary) and that we all have a secondary style.

The five styles are as follows: Physical touching, acts of service, words spoken, giving of gifts and quality time. Each of us fit into one or two of these five categories. You may be aware of these, but I want to encourage you to take a few minutes and really learn them. Knowing what matters most to your spouse and to your kids about how they “feel loved” is very important. It is free, short and you may just learn something about yourself as well. When you have a moment, go to: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ and take this short quiz.

I believe during tough times we all need to be aware of these little things. I say little because it does not take much effort or energy to show your kids or your spouse you love them by just simply doing for them what they need done in order to feel loved. It sure sounds like a little thing… but I promise, to feed a relationship and make or keep it healthy is not a little thing. It is huge and can make a world of difference.

A past mentor of mine told me repeatedly: “Scott, even the people who love you and are around you all the time still do not see, feel or need the same things as you.” It actually took me a while to completely learn this, but my mentor was 100% correct. In any relationship, marriage or being a parent, we need to show those around us we love them, the way it is important to them, not the way we think, because chances are, they are two different languages.


Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.


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