Kids, Politics & Beliefs

Are you involving your kids in your voting? Such a simple question may not come with a simple answer.

Each of us talk and act based on what we believe to be true. Whether it be people, places, religion or even politics, all of us act out our beliefs.

Recently, my eldest daughter brought a few questions that were thought provoking.  Her fourth grade class has been discussing the upcoming Presidential election, the candidates and the different parties.

Her questions were sincere, honest and that of an unbiased opinion (which is rare in itself).  In the past, we had discussed such things but not at the level she was asking.  It was clear that the time had come to start teaching her about politics and Government.

Overall, I am not interested in partisan politics.  It is an argument that could go on forever.  I’m referring to one’s core beliefs about why they think one candidate is better than the other. How what we believe causes us to make choices accordingly, which helps determine who we will be voting for.

Religion, personal interest and even political affiliation are largely inherited.  That is, we follow the footsteps of those who have programmed us.  Parents, family or someone who is an authority in our lives.

Parents always want what’s best for their kids.  But what determines what is best?  Our beliefs determine what is best but that does not mean those beliefs are healthy or favorable.  We can only teach our kids what we know and understand. Why does one person believe the Democrats have all the right answers while the guy across the street is convinced the Republicans do?  It’s all because of what we believe to be true.

Most of the time, there is nothing wrong with teaching our kids our persuasion.  But if we truly want the best for them, shouldn’t we take it deeper?  What about teaching them core values?  Why not teach them that our Government’s choices have brought the country to the place where it is currently?  And, if those results are not favorable, then moving forward, the choices need to be different.  You do realize choices always equal an outcome… right?

Seek wisdom when doing this. If we truly want a better tomorrow, we have to start with the healthy programming of our younger generation.  That is, it starts with us, right now, today.  Not brainwashing, rather healthy beliefs and understanding.

How we interact with our children when it comes to understanding our Government and the democracy we live in, will define the tomorrow we help create.  Choose wisely, your choices today are creating your tomorrow.

Have a great weekend, be blessed.

Attracting Healthy Love ~ Part 9

We all have a love style.  Do you know yours?

This is part nine in the series of Attracting Healthy Love.

The way in which you feel loved is a critical piece to making a healthy relationship last long-term.  Each one of us has a primary love style (love language) that makes us feel loved.

For example, some people feel loved by receiving gifts.  Others feel loved by simply being touched.  Sharing positive encouraging words, doing acts of service for that special person or sharing quality time, are all different styles in which we feel loved.

Each one of us has a primary and a secondary love style.  Knowing what makes us feel loved is an important piece of the puzzle when attracting healthy love into our lives. 

Just like the different personality styles, there is no right or wrong.  Your love style is the style you were born with as a child.  You felt loved then the same way you do today, only in a more intimate, mature way.

Many times, in the past when I have coached people about obtaining healthy relationships in their lives, I am reminded that many people are simply not aware they even have a love style.  To this I say: if you don’t know what actions make you feel loved, how will you be aware of what actions are necessary for your spouse to feel loved?

Love is a verb.  It is more than just saying I love you.  We show our love in our daily actions.  The majority of time, by nature, we tend to show love to our special someone the same way we like to receive love.  Although this is not necessarily bad, it is not always correct.

Our spouse needs to be loved according to their style, not just how we think they should feel love.  The person who is fueled by being touched, is not going to feel love the same way by being told positive, affirming compliments.  Both are important but in this example, physical touch will flood their heart with love far better than anything else.

Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of: The five Love Languages is an expert in this area.  If you are serious about attracting healthy love, I recommend reading his book and studying the styles.  You need to know and understand your style.  Then you will begin to understand how Mr. or Ms. Right will need to feel loved when they come into your life.

Next week we will go into part 10 in Attracting Healthy Love, Expectations.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Part 3 Raising Kids With A Healthy Mind Set

Identifying core values, dealing with the past and taking responsibility.  As a parent, can you say you have done all of these?  This is part three in the series of raising kids with a healthy mindset.  

We can and should be ready when it comes to raising kids.  The three areas we have covered so far are key elements.  These aren’t new or creative, these are basic principals to build on.

Do the ideas shared seem difficult to grasp?  Does it seem like too much work?  If so, you are not alone.  From the beginning of time, personal change has been one of the toughest actions to develop.  It is, however, the most rewarding.  Becoming a better you improves every aspect of life.  With regard to raising kids, it makes a profound difference.

Is it easy?  No, it is not.  Is it worth it?  Yes, without a doubt!  Will your kids and grand kids benefit from you becoming a better you?  Absolutely yes!  Like every other aspect of life, it requires change.  The key to understand, it is not the challenge people struggle with.  We are challenged everyday.  It is the change that is difficult.

Quite often, for people to change, there must be a big enough reason, a reward of some sort, something to motivate us.

I clearly remember the day when my first daughter was born.  It was fall, cool in temperature and a day my wife and I had long been looking forward to.  Every parent knows what I mean.  It was the day my entire being, my reason for living, took on a new dimension.

As I held her fragile little body in my arms for the very first time, I understood that she was my responsibility and my obligation.  Not only to provide for her but to love her.  I had to set and live an example for her.  This innocent newborn child needed everything I was capable of giving to her.  Not just a few things, everything!

It was in those first few weeks of her life that I came to realize and accept I needed to be a great father.  In order to do so, I had to seek greatness.  Growing as a person had been enough, but now there was greater reason.

Holding my newborn daughter in those early days added fuel to my fire.  She deserved a great father!  Our kids deserve great parents but at the same time, we cannot give them what we do not have.

As they grow up, they will live their own lives as they should.  Parents should make conscious efforts to do everything they can to give their kids the tools to live healthy, productive, fulfilling lives.  If parents don’t, who will?

Next week we will wrap up this series on raising kids with a healthy mindset.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Adding Value to Others

Something I have come to learn and understand about raising two daughters is that it is not always easy. Rewarding? Yes, very much so, but it has brought along its fair amount of challenges. With both of my daughters currently being under the age of ten, I am already trying to instill in them what it is to have chores and pick things up after they use them, putting their clothes where they belong and just teaching them responsibility. Personally, I don’t think there is too young of an age to teach this, we just need to make sure that, as parents, were are not being unrealistic in what to expect from them.

My Mom and Dad taught me how to work and how to be responsible fairly early in my life. I am so thankful for this because as I became a teenager and entered the work force, it was easy for me show up on time and do the best job I could, wherever I was working. Calling in sick was just something I don’t ever remember doing. I am sure I did once or twice, but I never used that as an excuse to not go to work. In the words of my dad, “You signed up to do a job, by golly you better be there to do it.”

As I get older and continue to learn more about life and the world around me, the more I realize there is a big element kids need today that even I was not taught growing up. In fact I don’t even recall ever hearing much about it until I was in my late twenties and even then, still did not totally understand what it was and how it affected me. High schools don’t teach it. I am not even sure many colleges teach it. What I am talking about here is adding value: value to our employers and value to the people that we serve. But what does this term really mean? What does it mean to add value to others?

When we add value to somebody we are going above the standard of what we are called to do. Adding value can also come through our willingness or our perception of things. Our personal efficiency at a task could be considered adding value. Some would say it is a lot like being an over-achiever. All of these things bring value to others, no doubt, but to take this a little deeper, what I am talking about here is a mindset and an attitude to back it up.

Unfortunately, our society is making a shift toward the mindset of: “what’s in it for me.” I hate to say it but it is true. Taking on a mindset of adding value to others is completely contradictory to this selfish way of thinking. When I hear our younger generation say this, I respond with, “Everything is in it for you if you will understand it is not about you”. Adding value is about giving, not about taking and when we give more to others than they are expecting, we build them up and help to increase them. In return, by building them up, we are also building ourselves up at the same time. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we grow when we give more and add value to someone else.

Take this next week and think of ways you can add more value to someone around you. How can you build them up and help them to succeed? Even if it is only in a small way, bringing more value to someone will come back to each of us, once we have given it. Then, as we bring more value to others, we become more valuable. It’s a win / win circle. Not only that, people like to be around givers, they don’t usually like to be around takers.



Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Week 7 of 7 on changing our beliefs.

This is the last week of my 7 part series on how to change our beliefs. Feel free to go back and review over all seven weeks and recap all of this information. Myself, I have found that reading things over and over, substantially increase the rate at which I am able to retain what I read.

A few key points you and I need to never forget is, our beliefs control every aspect of our lives. Everything we say or do, how we act, how we dress, even the people we hang around with. All of this is directly tied to our beliefs, so don’t think it doesn’t matter, because all of it matters. It’s all tied together and directs our lives. Thus having a belief about our self or about our life which is not healthy will cause our lives to have an outcome that is less favorable than what we desire. A great example of this: just recently, a friend of mine came to me and admitted he now realizes that he is not the strong salesman he thought he was. For years, he had believed he was a great salesman so he pursued sales jobs. Over time though, he has found, after having several sales jobs, he was not the dynamic salesperson he thought he was. It was simply his belief about himself that led him down a path which equaled some disappointing setbacks. It took failure from those jobs for him to realize that his belief about himself was doing more harm for him than good.

Allow yourself to make the necessary changes you need. Plain and simple: you have to let go of what you know now to get something more than you ever thought you could have. This is essential. I also know it is one of the hardest things to do. The only way change comes easy for us, is when it is our own idea. If I, or your spouse or your boss or your family member wants you to change, it will be difficult. So allowing yourself to change and adapt to a new way of thinking, ensures your success to do so. When doing this, keep in mind that your old belief, the one which you are working on replacing, will try very hard to stay in control and direct your life. In fact, it will throw a big enough fit, that there will be an internal battle take place between what you’ve always known and that which you are wanting. This is where the wanting to change will be your golden key. Without the want, it will be way too easy to lose sight of the goal and turn back to familiar territory.

The last point to know here is that, along with change, opposition will come, especially if there is a big reward at the end. To think otherwise is naive. Mentally, emotionally and physically, all three of these will push back as you make changes for yourself and your life. Expect it, know it and just accept it. Don’t fight it. Fighting it does no good and will only waste your time and energy. Instead, learn how to roll with it. Understanding that with change and challenge, life has a way of testing us and making us prove we want something better, that we are willing to fight for it and not give up. The opposition you will get does NOT mean you shouldn’t do it and it does not mean you are heading in the wrong direction, its just life’s way of testing you to see how serious you are, about

wanting something better. All too often though, people mistake the opposition as a roadblock and so they return to what they have always known, which is their comfort zone. An unfamiliar gravel road is far from a road block, it is just a different-looking road that is not yet paved. Go ahead and take it, don’t be afraid. That new road is there for you. Let it feel weird, let if feel different, that’s ok. There is a great reward waiting for you near the end of this new road so don’t give up too soon.

Now, put some action behind changing your beliefs. Take that next step. Put action into your plan and move forward. You now have what is needed to make the changes you seek. Don’t worry about having everything perfect and all lined out. Start today and as you go, you can make those adjustments or additions along the way because NOTHING will change for you until you take action.


Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.