The 5 Love Types

There is no doubt marriages take a lot of work. The day to day pressures our lives can be under have a way of weighing on us over time. Often, it is easy to forget what our spouse may or may not need. I guess you could say the “comfort zone” is way too easy to fall into when we are simply trying to get through the daily grind and stay up on our responsibilities.

Recently, I have been studying the five love styles commonly referred to as “love languages.” These are essential yet very simple ways in which each of us can give and receive love. We are all born with a style. What intrigues me the most is that every one of us operates from a certain style (a primary) and that we all have a secondary style.

The five styles are as follows: Physical touching, acts of service, words spoken, giving of gifts and quality time. Each of us fit into one or two of these five categories. You may be aware of these, but I want to encourage you to take a few minutes and really learn them. Knowing what matters most to your spouse and to your kids about how they “feel loved” is very important. It is free, short and you may just learn something about yourself as well. When you have a moment, go to: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ and take this short quiz.

I believe during tough times we all need to be aware of these little things. I say little because it does not take much effort or energy to show your kids or your spouse you love them by just simply doing for them what they need done in order to feel loved. It sure sounds like a little thing… but I promise, to feed a relationship and make or keep it healthy is not a little thing. It is huge and can make a world of difference.

A past mentor of mine told me repeatedly: “Scott, even the people who love you and are around you all the time still do not see, feel or need the same things as you.” It actually took me a while to completely learn this, but my mentor was 100% correct. In any relationship, marriage or being a parent, we need to show those around us we love them, the way it is important to them, not the way we think, because chances are, they are two different languages.


Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.


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