So far, we have uncovered a handful of destructive and unhealthy ideals with regard to attracting healthy love. This week we are going to go over that "C" word. You know... commitment.
If you were to ask any couple who has been married for an extensive period of time, the one word you will hear over and over again is commitment. That is, a commitment to and for each other. But what does that really mean?
When we make a commitment to someone, we are making a statement which speaks volumes. A heartfelt commitment (which should be the only kind of commitment) means that come hell or high water, good or bad, better or worse, you are in this for the long haul. Commitments should not be made because of emotions. It is ok to have them, but using them as your sole guide could very easily put you in a situation you never intended to be, wondering: "How did this happen?"
Although I have said this before, I am going to say it again: It is never a good idea to make long-term choices based on short-term feelings. Most of the time those waves of emotions, in a new relationship, will blow like the wind in the first year. Commitment is first an internal choice that is expressed outwardly, not the other way around.
Commitment is more than just sticking it out in tough times. It is also about helping the other person when they need it. Making adjustments in our attitude and behavior is a way of following through on a commitment. Commitments can be viewed as working together through problems rather than letting your spouse deal with their stuff while you wait patiently on the sidelines. It doesn't mean everything is always going to be great. It doesn't mean everything will be perfect. It means you agree to work together in order for the relationship to grow.
Commitment is not a one-way street, it has two lanes. Both parties need to have equal levels of commitment for a relationship to be healthy. 25% commitment from one person and 75% from the other simply cannot last long-term. How will you know a person’s level of commitment? There are two answers.
By becoming a person who can make a heartfelt commitment, you will attract someone like you. To do this, it is you who must become that person. To try and find someone who can commit, all the while knowing on the inside you cannot, is like taking poison and waiting for your enemy to die. It's absurd and unrealistic.
The second part in realizing true commitment, is watching what people do, not what they say. Words are easy to say and unfortunately, are too often shallow. Watch to see if people's actions line up with their words. This is a good way to tell if someone is truly heartfelt about their commitments.
Combine these two ideas and you have stacked the deck in your favor for having a healthy, committed relationship.
Next week, we will be touching base on the bigger picture and your detailed list.
Have a great week everyone, be blessed.
If you were to ask any couple who has been married for an extensive period of time, the one word you will hear over and over again is commitment. That is, a commitment to and for each other. But what does that really mean?
When we make a commitment to someone, we are making a statement which speaks volumes. A heartfelt commitment (which should be the only kind of commitment) means that come hell or high water, good or bad, better or worse, you are in this for the long haul. Commitments should not be made because of emotions. It is ok to have them, but using them as your sole guide could very easily put you in a situation you never intended to be, wondering: "How did this happen?"
Although I have said this before, I am going to say it again: It is never a good idea to make long-term choices based on short-term feelings. Most of the time those waves of emotions, in a new relationship, will blow like the wind in the first year. Commitment is first an internal choice that is expressed outwardly, not the other way around.
Commitment is more than just sticking it out in tough times. It is also about helping the other person when they need it. Making adjustments in our attitude and behavior is a way of following through on a commitment. Commitments can be viewed as working together through problems rather than letting your spouse deal with their stuff while you wait patiently on the sidelines. It doesn't mean everything is always going to be great. It doesn't mean everything will be perfect. It means you agree to work together in order for the relationship to grow.
Commitment is not a one-way street, it has two lanes. Both parties need to have equal levels of commitment for a relationship to be healthy. 25% commitment from one person and 75% from the other simply cannot last long-term. How will you know a person’s level of commitment? There are two answers.
By becoming a person who can make a heartfelt commitment, you will attract someone like you. To do this, it is you who must become that person. To try and find someone who can commit, all the while knowing on the inside you cannot, is like taking poison and waiting for your enemy to die. It's absurd and unrealistic.
The second part in realizing true commitment, is watching what people do, not what they say. Words are easy to say and unfortunately, are too often shallow. Watch to see if people's actions line up with their words. This is a good way to tell if someone is truly heartfelt about their commitments.
Combine these two ideas and you have stacked the deck in your favor for having a healthy, committed relationship.
Next week, we will be touching base on the bigger picture and your detailed list.
Have a great week everyone, be blessed.
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