Your Plans? Yeah Right...

In the movie Evan Almighty, there is a scene where Evan Baxter (Steve Carell) is talking with God (Morgan Freeman).  God told Evan that he will be building an Ark to house the animals from a flood.  Evan is less than excited about it.  He proceeds to tell God how he is not the man for the job, he has other things to do and how this project does not line up with his schedule. Instantly, God starts laughing.  Evan goes on to strongly emphasize; "this is not in my plans!"  Upon hearing this, God erupts into even further laughter.  Evan just stares at him with a look of "why are you laughing?"

The next words God tells Evan are powerful; "Your plans?  Yeah that's a funny one."

People want to believe they are in control of their plans.  We feel confident and on purpose when we work that plan and progress on it. But does that really qualify as being in control?

Recently, over lunch, a good friend of mine reminded me of that movie scene and how life is often like that. 

Like Evan, I too was given something which was not part of my plans.  It came out of left field, no signs, no warnings whatsoever.  My friend, mentor, sound board and prayer partner when things got tough, she edited most of my writings for the last two and a half years, had a life altering accident and lost her life.  Truly a tragedy.  One that her family and I are still working through.  Losing Gina prematurely was not in any of our plans and some of us are still speechless.

Rarely, if ever, are there answers to why things like this happen, especially when they seem so devastating.  Was it God's plan?  Was it just an accident God allowed to happen?  One day, maybe we'll know, but for now, in this life, all of us will have to deal with tragedies.  Responsibilities and obligations never not stop for the living.

More than likely, our best, well intended plans will have to be altered.  That doesn't make them wrong, it means we need to be able to change, with the change that is thrown to us.  Each of us set our plans into motion with the most accurate information we have at the time.  Then, down the road, with more information the necessary changes can be made, ensuring the desired outcome we want.

Many good, caring, loving people have had things happen to them that they did not deserve or they were not part of their plans. Yet at the end of the day, the best thing we can do is get back up, dust ourselves off and allow ourselves to deal and heal.  Then, start walking again. It's a process that takes time and we need to be patient with our self. No, it won't be easy, no one ever said it would.

Tragedies are not road blocks, they're detours.  I had to remind myself of this a few times over the last several months.  We may walk differently after the tragedy and that's OK.  The point is to start walking again. Don't let devastation hold you back from doing what you know, needs to be done. 

Set backs are 90% internal and 10% external.  They are a mental battle.  At the end of the day, I am reminded that losing someone you love is merely an indicator that your course has changed. Moving forward is the only option for me and I hope it is for you, as well. 

Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

(In memory of an amazing friend and woman, Gina Barrett.  I promise to finish what we started,  love and miss you mom)

Attitude

It’s your attitude that determines your altitude.  We’ve all heard that, right?  How about: Attitude isn’t the main thing, it’s the only thing?

Being around someone who has a great attitude can be a lot of fun.  We feel better about ourselves.  We’re energized, inspired, even motivated.  It’s as if our self-esteem has been given a boost.

Often times, when an employer has a special task that needs to be completed, they will ask an employee with a can do attitude to do it.  That employee may not even know how to perform the task but because of his attitude, he will find a way to do it and will do whatever it takes to complete it.

Attitudes are also an indicator of what we believe.  Typically, the person who believes hard work and persistence will yield them their dreams and desires will also have the attitude of, it can happen.  

Even the person who makes mistakes (isn’t that all of us) but has an attitude of accepting responsibility, admitting they made the mistake, wants to learn from it, and chooses to move forward, is likely to be favored by his peers.

The reality is we simply won’t see someone with a poor attitude accomplishing great things or encouraging others.  Even if you have seen them accomplish something, I’d be willing to bet, they were not very effective.

It’s the master key that can unlock many doors in life.  Countless times people who didn’t know how, were hired over the experienced poor attitude applicant, to do a job, because they instilled an attitude of, I can and I will.

Is attitude everything?  Does it really make all the difference?  Can a positive, can-do attitude even cover a multitude of weaknesses?

Without hesitation, yes!  Our attitude really is that important.  Each day we bring an attitude to our environment, whether that is our place of employment, school, organization, family or friends.  Based on their attitude, people determine if you are someone they want to continue being around.

So the next time you’re in a crowd of people, ask yourself this question: Is my attitude worth catching?

Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

To Someone... Your Words Matter

Allen had lived a great life.  He had many achievements and accomplishments over the years.  He married his high school sweetheart at age 20 and shortly thereafter, they started a family.

He was involved in his community, church and several non-profit organizations.

Over the next 65 years, Allen served on various boards and became well respected around his town.  He started a business, hired employees and grew his business to a point where he could generously give back.  Not just with money but his time.

Allen was known for helping others.  He was flexible with his employees and their family schedules so they could tend to things that were important to them.  He strived to make a difference in people and believed that instilling a positive attitudes, respect and honor into his children, were the best traits he could leave them.

One day, in his late 80’s, Allen died.  Upon his ascent into heaven, he saw a large screen that appeared to be playing various movies.  As he got closer, he realized they were segments of his life, all playing at the same time, on one screen.  Each movie was showing the difference he had made in someone’s life.  Right in front of him, he was hearing and seeing story after story how his generosity and willingness to share had made such an impact on so many.  He could not help but feel an abundance of love while seeing all of this unfold.

He also noticed on the far side of the screen, there were people whom he knew who were not talking very nice about him.  The movies showed these people spreading rumors and talking badly about him behind his back.  They made false accusations about him and unfortunately, Allen knew everyone of them.  Some were friends, neighbors and even employees whom he had paid salaries and bonuses to for years.

Upon seeing this, Allen was overcome with disbelief.  The same people whom he had given his time, energy and finances to were not only disrespectful but were also unthankful.  It only took a minute before his heart was heavy and with hurt feelings, his eyes filled with tears.  He kept thinking: how could people whom he had done so much for, be so ungrateful.

This story was given to me in a dream and is not far from reality.  All of us, at some point, have been ungrateful to those who have given to us.  The question is: do we still do it and will we continue to do it?

The next time you start to talk about someone to somebody, stop and ask yourself:  would I be saying this if that person was standing beside me?  If they were to hear your words, would it build them up or tear them down?

Life really is in the power of the tongue.  Each day, we have a choice to be thankful for what we have. Words aren’t just words they are an outward statement of what is taking place on the inside of us.  

Don’t allow yourself to think: it doesn’t matter.  Unintentional or direct, all of our words matter.

Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

Always Changing

Friday's Thoughts often talk about change and there’s good reason for it:  we live in an ever-changing world. 

When I was younger, I didn’t understand this. I thought certain things would always be the same.  To some degree, this gave a false sense of security, thinking I would always be ok once I got in my routine.  What I have come to find over the years is that nothing could be further from the truth.

Everything around us is evolving and changing, everyday, all the time.  Have you heard the term, if you’re not growing you’re going backwards?  There is a lot of truth to that.  Everything around us is in a slow movement of being more different today than it was yesterday and we need to be aware of this.

Yesterday the stock market was either higher or lower than it is right now.  Buildings being built are now closer to being completed.  Kids in school are more knowledgeable today than they were yesterday.  People, pets, grass and plants have all grown.  Essentially, there is nothing that stays exactly the same.  Once we realize and accept this, our life can take on deeper clarity. 

As a sales person or business owner, we already understand some months will be better than others.  Facts are facts.  Things change and often there is nothing we can do about it.  So what’s the best medicine for an ever-changing world?  Be flexible and change with the times.

We live in a different economy than it once was.  Our kids are older, our jobs require more from us.  Maybe our spouses need more from us today than yesterday.  Traffic has increased while prices have gone up.  Maybe we put on a few more pounds, our hair line is continuing to recede or it’s turning grey. 

If you and I will embrace change, our success can be far greater than we would have ever known.  Many years ago, I heard a billionaire speak at a conference and he said, “great success is not near as much challenge, as it is change.” 

What can you do different today that will use change to your benefit?  Learn to be flexible.  Just because you have always done things a certain way does not mean you have keep doing it that way.  And remember, just because you think it will never change, doesn’t mean it won't.  Even a body in a coffin is… well, you get it.

Have a great changing weekend, be blessed.

Kids, Politics & Beliefs

Are you involving your kids in your voting? Such a simple question may not come with a simple answer.

Each of us talk and act based on what we believe to be true. Whether it be people, places, religion or even politics, all of us act out our beliefs.

Recently, my eldest daughter brought a few questions that were thought provoking.  Her fourth grade class has been discussing the upcoming Presidential election, the candidates and the different parties.

Her questions were sincere, honest and that of an unbiased opinion (which is rare in itself).  In the past, we had discussed such things but not at the level she was asking.  It was clear that the time had come to start teaching her about politics and Government.

Overall, I am not interested in partisan politics.  It is an argument that could go on forever.  I’m referring to one’s core beliefs about why they think one candidate is better than the other. How what we believe causes us to make choices accordingly, which helps determine who we will be voting for.

Religion, personal interest and even political affiliation are largely inherited.  That is, we follow the footsteps of those who have programmed us.  Parents, family or someone who is an authority in our lives.

Parents always want what’s best for their kids.  But what determines what is best?  Our beliefs determine what is best but that does not mean those beliefs are healthy or favorable.  We can only teach our kids what we know and understand. Why does one person believe the Democrats have all the right answers while the guy across the street is convinced the Republicans do?  It’s all because of what we believe to be true.

Most of the time, there is nothing wrong with teaching our kids our persuasion.  But if we truly want the best for them, shouldn’t we take it deeper?  What about teaching them core values?  Why not teach them that our Government’s choices have brought the country to the place where it is currently?  And, if those results are not favorable, then moving forward, the choices need to be different.  You do realize choices always equal an outcome… right?

Seek wisdom when doing this. If we truly want a better tomorrow, we have to start with the healthy programming of our younger generation.  That is, it starts with us, right now, today.  Not brainwashing, rather healthy beliefs and understanding.

How we interact with our children when it comes to understanding our Government and the democracy we live in, will define the tomorrow we help create.  Choose wisely, your choices today are creating your tomorrow.

Have a great weekend, be blessed.

Maturity is a Choice

Where does maturity come from and how do we get it?

Years ago, I often sought older friends to associate with.  Then, I believed they had the experience, wisdom and maturity and I wanted to learn from.  What I found was just the opposite.

All of us could agree, you don’t have to look very hard to see immaturity.  Not just from kids but from adults of all ages.  Just watch how they act when things don’t go the way they think they should.  With the Presidential elections ramping up and the online social media outlets like Facebook, immaturity is apparent everywhere.

Every once in awhile I will meet a young person who proves to be very mature.  What they say and how they say it, how they carry themselves qualify them as someone who has it together.  They prove they are very mature for their age.

Meaningful, intelligent two-way conversations with them can be quite pleasant.  They don’t feel the need to prove themselves or act like they have all the answers.  You have to admit, there is an attraction to these types.

Dr. Mike Murdock probably said it best, “Grey hair doesn’t make you smart.”  How profound!  It’s also apparent that age does not make us wise nor does age equal maturity.  Our culture and society, however, have tried to make us believe otherwise.    

Age does equate to experience but experience alone does not always equal the previous traits mentioned.  So what do all of these things have in common?  Maturity!

To admit we were wrong takes maturity.  To realize we don’t have all the answers and the answers we do have, may not be the right ones, takes maturity.  To humble ones self and seek to do better takes maturity.  The reality is, maturity could be considered the doorway by which many other personal qualities follow.

Maturity comes from being humble.  Therefore, arrogance and maturity can rarely co-exist.  Expressing maturity is also showing others you don’t have a need to be right on every subject.  It’s allowing someone to be wrong with dignity.

Maturity can also be the opposite of selfishness.  We are willing to let others have their way, regardless of the outcome and how it affects us.

Maybe this is why we see so much immaturity everywhere.  In large, we have become a society of wanting things our way, when we want it, the way we want it.

The bigger thought is: what are we teaching our children?  Are we setting a healthy example of maturity for them?  Are we setting them up for a rewarding, peaceful life?  What about the way we treat our children?  Are we showing maturity when we communicate with them?  How about when we discipline?

Gaining this clarity on maturity has made a profound difference in my expectations about the young and old and why they act like they do.  It will for you too, once you embrace it.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Our Choices Equal Our Results

Most of us want different results than we have: more time, more money, weigh less...  Sure we want these things but how many of us are willing to make different choices to get them?

Lately, I have been hooked on the TV show Bar Rescue.  John Tafer, a veteran in the bar / night club industry, connects with bar owners who are on the edge of closing their doors due to a failing business.  Being in the industry for over 25 years, Tafer has seen the common denominators of a failing bar business.  

I am not a bar guy.  I rarely frequent them.  I have never owned one nor do I ever intend to.  Personally, I think they are a great place to throw your money away and waste precious time.

But I am intrigued how Tafer imposes on the bar owners and their staff, successful / healthy habits.  He is very stern when it comes to addressing the problems and destructive habits that have led to their failing business.  He is a no B.S. kind of guy who holds no punches.  Holding people accountable and changing their mindset to one of being proactive is the backbone to the whole program.

While I could do without the strong language (most of it is censored out) I have come to like the way accountability and responsibility change the entire nature of each business.  In return, rescuing it from failure.  In nearly every case, the owner of the failing establishment has come to a place of complacency and ignorance.  This is what Taft must change if he is to turn things around.

Just like the show, all of us can reach a place where we too become complacent.  In business, our jobs, relationships, even our marriages.  Most of us want things to be different, yet very few are willing to do what we must to produce a different outcome.  History has proven time and time again, wanting different results is simply not enough.

In the show, Taft tends to put people in very uncomfortable situations, holding them accountable.  It is here where people break from their habits and usually agree to change.  This sounds a lot like life, doesn't it?  Most of us do not change unless we are put into a position where we have to and even then, some still resist.  Yet change is the key to living a life full of the things we want.

It's change, not chance that brings us different results.  We can be in the right place at the right time and not even know it.  Daily habits are formed by choices, choices are formed by beliefs.  So chance has nothing to do with any of it. 

There is a great parallel between business, relationships, success and failure.  The common denominator for all of these, the one thing that makes or breaks how our life turns out and what it boils down to is choice.
Just as our choices can lead to disaster, so can our choices lead us to success.  Some choices lead to heartache while other choices lead to love and happiness.

Until we take responsibility for where we are, we will never be able to move to where we want to be.  This is one element Taft pushes hard in the show and it's not until the people accept this painful reality can they move forward.

Let go of your blame list!  Get past it and accept the facts.  You are where you are because of the choices you have made.  Once you can accept this, the chains that have bound you will be cut free and your life will explode into change.

I know because I have lived it.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.