Finding Fulfillment

Everybody longs for it, very few know what it means and many look in all the wrong places.  This week we are in search of fulfillment.

In my day job, I have been serving seniors for many years.  Spending time around them and hearing their stories of war, despair and triumph, have inspired me and on occasion, brought a tear to my eye.

The caregivers who care for these folks are truly unique.  The first time I was around them, I didn’t understand why these caregivers did what they did.  Caregivers don’t usually make much more than minimum wage and the hours are not always favorable.  Not to mention, most of us would not want to perform some of their required tasks.

So why are these folks so happy to do their job?  They get little compensation yet go to work with a smile, have a great attitude and do it while looking forward to their next shift.  The only reason I can find for this is that they have something very few have.  They find fulfillment in what they do.

Most try to find this in money.  The more money you make must equate to fulfillment, right?  What if we buy more new, shiny stuff or get the latest and greatest in technology?  Maybe that will help us find fulfillment.  Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth.

Caregivers have found something very few find.  They feel complete and fulfilled by their service and giving to others.  Helping those who can no longer fully help themselves, pays them back huge dividends internally.

How many people have bought into the lie that in order to find fulfillment, you have to be wealthy, influential, or be financially successful?  I could introduce you to 20 plus people who hold none of these traits yet their lives are content with so little.

When you find what you love to do, you could do it all day long, it gives you energy, despite what it pays, there you will usually find fulfillment.  With that, comes peace, meaning and clarity about life.

Fulfillment is found in what we do.  What we get is a by-product of what we do.  True, some find fulfillment in their accomplishments.  Entrepreneurs who build empires are usually well rewarded.  For most of them, it is the sense of building something from nothing that brings fulfillment.

What could you do every day, all day if you had to, and at the end of the day feel like you made a difference?  Is it to a single person or a group of people?

Look and focus your energy in that direction.  There is where fulfillment is waiting to complete your life.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

What you allow Grows

Ever wake up one day and think to yourself, “How did this happen?”  Well, chances are, it didn't just happen. Over time, you allowed it.

As a rule of thumb, those things which we permit in our life, we have also given permission for their increase.  That is, if we choose to do nothing about bad behavior, than we should expect it to continue to grow.

Consider the disrespectful teenager.  Their actions and words can be hurtful and destructive.  As a parent, if you decide to allow this type of behavior then you should also expect it to only get worse.

The tiny weeds in the garden that are no big deal today will become abundant and thick tomorrow if not dealt with.  The alcoholic spouse, who is only slightly abusive today, will become more abusive tomorrow.

Recently, I worked in an office where one of the team members was very toxic in attitude, behavior and the way they treated others.  I learned this had been going on for several years.  The boss was well aware of the actions but refused to deal with the employee in a manner which would detour the behavior.  It was no surprise to me when I learned it had become worse over the years.  The behavior we allow today will grow tomorrow.

For some personality styles, dealing with confrontation is not easy.  Naturally, we want to avoid it, walk away or pretend like it does not affect us.  The fact is, dealing with conflict is not a bad thing.  Holding people accountable for their actions, words or behavior is very healthy.  It also requires work and is often times uncomfortable.  Yet, it is necessary to keep the destructive environment from affecting others.

If you have a family member who treats you with disrespect and you have not confronted them about it, understand you have essentially given that person permission to treat you however they wish.  Too often, people don't give a second thought to how they are being perceived.  They are only interested in telling you what they think.

By standing up for ourselves and refusing to let others mistreat us, we are also automatically increasing our self image.  Think about the last time someone talked down to you.  How did it make you feel?  Now think about the last time you stood up for yourself.  Did you demand respect?  Did you tell someone you will not accept being talked down to?  How did that make you feel?  Could you then look in the mirror and be proud of your self?

Years ago, I came to a place where I refused to be talked down to and when I did, it was life-changing.  A spouse, coworker, child or even a parent can sometimes lose touch with boundaries and respect for others.  Don't let things like this intimidate you.  It's not about you it's about them and their own insecurity of who they are.

Take the high road and demand others treat you with kindness, and hold them accountable.  Once you do, you will be amazed at how some people leave your life and how others look to you with a whole new level of respect. Not to mention, how you see yourself.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

We don't create who we are, we discover who we are

People sometimes spend a lifetime looking for what they want to do with their life. Ever been asked: "what do you want to be when you grow up?" This is a valid question. Do you know?

Every day, all around us, we come in contact with people who simply go through the motions of life. They have an average job and an average life. Sadly enough, they never search deep or long enough to discover their purpose or passion.

I hear a lot of people say, "I can’t wait to retire in 3, 4 or 6 years." I am sure it is exciting to think about retirement, however, I would also ask them about their life now and what you were put here to do?

I invested 15 years of searching before I found my passion. It was a process. I didn’t create who I am. God did that. I discovered who I am, that was my job. God is the ultimate creator and he has given us creative abilities. That is, our minds, an imagination the ability to strategically plan out a process. I believe it is our responsibility to apply those things which He gave us.

Self-discovery, for most of us, is not an overnight deal. It’s an ongoing daily, monthly and even yearly deal. That is, year after year we need to continue to invest in it. Persist without ceasing if need be. It has been said that cemeteries are some of the richest places on earth. There, lie the dreams, ideas and plans that were never executed or put into play. Think about this for a moment. If you were to die tonight, what dreams, hopes and ideas would die with you?

Our talents, strengths and abilities, combined with personality style, demeanor and looks, make each of us unique. There is nobody like you. There is something you are to do, overcome and accomplish that no one else could do as well as you.
Whose pain do you feel? Whose tears affect you the most? Whose sorrows weigh on your heart the heaviest? These are all keys to what you are to discover about yourself.

Life is a lot about finding. We find our self, find our way, what we're good at and one day, we all hope to find the perfect spouse. Each time we find, we open a new door that leads us to further discovery which awakens a part of us that previously lay dormant.

Start making small changes in your day to day routine that will help you to discover. Small changes today, tomorrow and next month, are the keys to moving closer to those things you want in life.

Remember that there is no discovery without action. Take action today to insure a better tomorrow.

Have a great weekend everyone, be blessed.

This Thing Called Happiness

To many times I have heard people say, “I will be happy when…” or “He makes me happy…she makes me happy.”

I think most people have a misunderstanding of what happiness and being happy is and where it can be found.

The fact is, happiness “in” something is about impossible to find. It can not be found in a person or going to a place or in some new gadget. Even going on a long awaited vacation never brought true happiness. You may disagree but consider a few things.

If we are going to seek this thing called happiness, we first must know what it is and what it's not. Then, we will know better of what we are looking for and where to find it.

While it is fun and exciting to get new things, make a lot of money, buy toys or go on trips, this is not happiness. If it were, our lives would be spent on a roller coaster of emotions because those things come and go.

When we “get something new” (like a car) yes, we may be happy, but that's not the same as true happiness. Making a lot of money from our job or business makes us happy, but it does not bring us happiness.

Before our kids, my wife and I went to Hawaii twice in two years. That was pretty cool! We were very fortunate. Did it make me us joyful, excited, motivated and energetic? Absolutely! But no where in there was happiness to be found. Why? Because true happiness is found on the inside, not the outside.

There is a younger man from the church I attend. I have spoken with him a handful of times over the last two years. He does not have much in the way of material things. I believe he only works part time, he's not married nor does he have a girlfriend. Yet every time I see him, he is so full of happiness and high on life.

He smiles and hugs people often. At first, even I struggled with his profound positive outlook on life. So one day, being the shy, withdrawn person I am, I walked over to him and asked: “I just have to know, are you ever not happy?” He looked at me a little strangely and without missing a beat he said: “Why would I ever not be?”

Simply put: happiness is a frame of mind. It’s an attitude that we choose to have or to believe in each day. It’s looking at the positive side of things rather than the negative. Yes, the negative things exist and yes crap happens but we can choose to focus on the more positive things instead.

Many things have changed for many people over the last couple of years. A lot of folks have gone through hard times. Yet our own happiness is not and should not be tied to the economy, your checkbook or your job. We get satisfaction, excitement, joy and more options in life from them, not happiness.

Decide to become happy with where you are right now. It doesn’t matter what you do or do not have. Happiness is an inside job.

Take a moment today, go to a private place with a mirror, and tell yourself you are going to be happy.
Not your spouse, your boss or even your kids can make you happy. The only person who can make you happy is looking back at you in that mirror.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.


Scott Stewart
Author, speaker and inspiring others to live a life with healthy beliefs and attitudes.