This Thing Called Happiness

To many times I have heard people say, “I will be happy when…” or “He makes me happy…she makes me happy.”

I think most people have a misunderstanding of what happiness and being happy is and where it can be found.

The fact is, happiness “in” something is about impossible to find. It can not be found in a person or going to a place or in some new gadget. Even going on a long awaited vacation never brought true happiness. You may disagree but consider a few things.

If we are going to seek this thing called happiness, we first must know what it is and what it's not. Then, we will know better of what we are looking for and where to find it.

While it is fun and exciting to get new things, make a lot of money, buy toys or go on trips, this is not happiness. If it were, our lives would be spent on a roller coaster of emotions because those things come and go.

When we “get something new” (like a car) yes, we may be happy, but that's not the same as true happiness. Making a lot of money from our job or business makes us happy, but it does not bring us happiness.

Before our kids, my wife and I went to Hawaii twice in two years. That was pretty cool! We were very fortunate. Did it make me us joyful, excited, motivated and energetic? Absolutely! But no where in there was happiness to be found. Why? Because true happiness is found on the inside, not the outside.

There is a younger man from the church I attend. I have spoken with him a handful of times over the last two years. He does not have much in the way of material things. I believe he only works part time, he's not married nor does he have a girlfriend. Yet every time I see him, he is so full of happiness and high on life.

He smiles and hugs people often. At first, even I struggled with his profound positive outlook on life. So one day, being the shy, withdrawn person I am, I walked over to him and asked: “I just have to know, are you ever not happy?” He looked at me a little strangely and without missing a beat he said: “Why would I ever not be?”

Simply put: happiness is a frame of mind. It’s an attitude that we choose to have or to believe in each day. It’s looking at the positive side of things rather than the negative. Yes, the negative things exist and yes crap happens but we can choose to focus on the more positive things instead.

Many things have changed for many people over the last couple of years. A lot of folks have gone through hard times. Yet our own happiness is not and should not be tied to the economy, your checkbook or your job. We get satisfaction, excitement, joy and more options in life from them, not happiness.

Decide to become happy with where you are right now. It doesn’t matter what you do or do not have. Happiness is an inside job.

Take a moment today, go to a private place with a mirror, and tell yourself you are going to be happy.
Not your spouse, your boss or even your kids can make you happy. The only person who can make you happy is looking back at you in that mirror.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.


Scott Stewart
Author, speaker and inspiring others to live a life with healthy beliefs and attitudes.