Far too many times I have heard someone say, “I will be happy when…” or, “He makes me happy…she makes me happy.” I think most people have a misunderstanding of what happiness and being happy is and where they can be found.
Personally, I have never found happiness “in” something, like a person or going to a place or even some new gadget I just bought. Even going on a long awaited vacation or trip has never brought me happiness. I know you might be shocked that I said that, I bet some of you will even disagree with me. If we are going to seek this thing called happiness, we first must know what it is and what it is not. Then, we will know better of what we are looking for and where to find it.
While it is fun to get new things, make a lot of money, buy toys and go on trips, this is actually not happiness. If it were happiness, then our lives would be spent on a roller coaster of emotions as those things can come and go in and out of our life. We would spend our days and nights chasing them, thinking they would bring us the happiness we long for. When we “get something new” (like a car) yes, we are happy, but that is not the same as true happiness. When we make a lot of money from our job or a sales commission, yes, it makes us happy, but it does not bring us happiness. Before our kids, my wife and I were fortunate enough to go to Hawaii twice. That was pretty cool! I felt very fortunate and very blessed to be able to do that. Did it make me joyful, excited, motivated and energetic? Absolutely! But no where in there was happiness to be found. Why? Because true happiness must be found on the inside, not the outside.
There is a younger man I know from the church I attend. I have spoken with him a handful of times over the last two years. He does not have much in the way of material things. I believe he only works part time, he is not married nor does he have a girlfriend. Yet every time I see him, he is so full of happiness, joy and is “high” on life. He smiles and hugs people often. At first, even I struggled with his profound positive outlook on life. So one day, being the shy, withdrawn person I am, I walked over to him and asked him. “I just have to know, are you ever not happy?” He looked at me a little strangely and without missing a beat he said: “Why would I ever not be?”
If we are able to really get a grasp of his answer, it can change our lives!
Simply put: happiness is a frame of mind. It’s an attitude that we choose to have or to believe in each and every day. It’s looking at the positive side of things rather than the negative. Yes, the negative things exist and yes crap happens but we can choose to focus on the more positive things instead.
Many things have changed for many people over the last couple of years. A lot of folks have gone through hard times. Yet happiness is not and should never be tied to the economy, your checkbook or your job. We get satisfaction, excitement, joy and more options in life from them, not happiness.
Decide to become happy with where you are right now. It doesn’t matter what you do or do not have. Take a moment today to go to a private place where there is a mirror, and look into it. Tell yourself that today you are going to be happy. Not your spouse, your boss nor even your kids can “make” you happy. The only person who can make you happy is looking back at you in that mirror.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
Friday, August 13, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Losing someone we love
One of life’s many guarantees is that, at some point, some day, we will pass on and leave this earth . We are not immortal (although MANY teenagers think otherwise). It’s by design this should take place, as it is part of the bigger plan.
This week is the nineteenth anniversary of when I lost my Mom. It was a Monday night and I had stopped in to have dinner with my folks. As I was getting ready to leave and head home for the night (I remember it very clearly, just as if it were yesterday), I told her, “Mom, I love you.” I then hugged her and walked out the door. I had no idea this would be the last time I would get to see or talk to my Mom.
Death is never an easy thing to deal with. The loss we feel of losing someone we love hurts us to the core. To some, it paralyzes them, making any task or chore near impossible. I have even heard stories of people who not only became paralyzed from the loss they felt initially, but were never fully able to recover. That deep, hard-hitting sense of “why” and “disbelief” are very real and very powerful and can leave a sting that dwells within for years and even decades.
The twenty-two years I had with my Mom will always hold a special place in my life. I feel blessed that I was close with her, that we always communicated, hugged and loved often. The biggest thing I am grateful for is not necessarily that we were close, but that I have no regrets of the time I had with her. I am able to look at her picture on the wall, smile and know there is nothing I wish we would have done differently. We loved, laughed and lived life as much as a mother and son could have.
I do however, like many people, wish that she could have been able to see, hold and play with her granddaughters. In fact, there is not a day goes by that I do not wish this had happened. I am sure many of you reading this have had your own similar situation. The feeling that you were “cheated out of time” with them is fairly common. I know I have felt like this many times. Is this redundant because you already said “not a day goes by”?
Through the loss of my Mom, I learned that not only is life too short, it is very precious and fragile. We are not given a guarantee for tomorrow, we can only hope and believe it will come. We cannot control when it is our time or the time of someone we love. What we can control is making the most of the time we have with them in our lives. Take today and make being with them a priority. In fact, put them at the top of your list. Don’t wait for next month, next year or until the next convenient day. Today is a gift. Use today to tell and show them you care about them. That way, you will never have to say, “I wish we could have...”
In the last days of a person’s life, I have never heard anyone say, ”You know, I just wish I would have put in a few more hours at the office rather than with my family.”
To all of you who have lost someone close to you, this Friday’s Thought is dedicated to you. I am sorry for your loss and my heart is heavy along with you as you deal with the pain.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
This week is the nineteenth anniversary of when I lost my Mom. It was a Monday night and I had stopped in to have dinner with my folks. As I was getting ready to leave and head home for the night (I remember it very clearly, just as if it were yesterday), I told her, “Mom, I love you.” I then hugged her and walked out the door. I had no idea this would be the last time I would get to see or talk to my Mom.
Death is never an easy thing to deal with. The loss we feel of losing someone we love hurts us to the core. To some, it paralyzes them, making any task or chore near impossible. I have even heard stories of people who not only became paralyzed from the loss they felt initially, but were never fully able to recover. That deep, hard-hitting sense of “why” and “disbelief” are very real and very powerful and can leave a sting that dwells within for years and even decades.
The twenty-two years I had with my Mom will always hold a special place in my life. I feel blessed that I was close with her, that we always communicated, hugged and loved often. The biggest thing I am grateful for is not necessarily that we were close, but that I have no regrets of the time I had with her. I am able to look at her picture on the wall, smile and know there is nothing I wish we would have done differently. We loved, laughed and lived life as much as a mother and son could have.
I do however, like many people, wish that she could have been able to see, hold and play with her granddaughters. In fact, there is not a day goes by that I do not wish this had happened. I am sure many of you reading this have had your own similar situation. The feeling that you were “cheated out of time” with them is fairly common. I know I have felt like this many times. Is this redundant because you already said “not a day goes by”?
Through the loss of my Mom, I learned that not only is life too short, it is very precious and fragile. We are not given a guarantee for tomorrow, we can only hope and believe it will come. We cannot control when it is our time or the time of someone we love. What we can control is making the most of the time we have with them in our lives. Take today and make being with them a priority. In fact, put them at the top of your list. Don’t wait for next month, next year or until the next convenient day. Today is a gift. Use today to tell and show them you care about them. That way, you will never have to say, “I wish we could have...”
In the last days of a person’s life, I have never heard anyone say, ”You know, I just wish I would have put in a few more hours at the office rather than with my family.”
To all of you who have lost someone close to you, this Friday’s Thought is dedicated to you. I am sorry for your loss and my heart is heavy along with you as you deal with the pain.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
Friday, July 30, 2010
A new way of thinking
The other day I was reminiscing about a fun past time I used to take part in. In my early twenties, some friends and I would take our four wheel drive trucks and head for the mountains. We would then find some old logging roads and trails to drive on and go do a little exploring. Combine that with a little skeet shooting throughout the day and all of us would have a great time! Sometimes, we would find ourselves on dirt / mud roads and our four wheel drive would be a must.
I recall back to a certain time when our small group came across a steep muddy. Several of us tried to climb the hill but had very little luck because it was just to slick. After about fifteen minutes or so, I noticed a friend of mine was letting some of the air out of his tires on his Ford Bronco. As several of us witnessed this, we began to laugh at him asking him why he was letting the air out of his tires? He said he was flattening his tires. He took our criticism well and just told us to watch him.
Minutes later, we were in shock and awe as he was the only one able to climb that steep muddy hill and, he did it with ease! I have to admit, I was in a bit of disbelief. There was no way he could have just done that... he made it look easy! Several of us tried the hill again but still could not get up it. In our way of thinking and what we knew to be true, simply letting some of the air out of your tires could not make that much difference.
Even though a handful of us witnessed this, we still could not believe it. Primarily (looking back on it) because it did not line up with what we believed to be true. We had never tried this, nor had we ever heard of it. To the majority of us, this just could not be true. Quite the opposite though… this was in fact a great way to get more traction, we had just never known it.
Today, as I look around our society, I see many people who hold the same old belief day in and day out. They are going by what they have always known and continue to do things the way they have always done them. Truth be known, often times, there is a better way out there but very few people are open minded enough to entertain a new idea. This was me back then. I thought I knew the best way. In my mind I had all the answers, so why consider knew ones? After all, my parents always did things the same way over and over again. So I was just going off of what my parents taught me.
Aside from principles, morals, values and ethics, a new way of thinking or doing things is not very far out of reach. In fact, often it is lurking just around the corner. Being willing to listen, consider or entertain a new way of thinking can very well be the seed towards living a more fulfilling life. It is those old ways of thinking that like to hold us captive and keep us from a higher level of understanding. If you and I can allow ourselves to listen more and resist less, we might just find that we don’t have all the answers.
Like the old saying goes: “Your mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is open” could very well be the gateway to getting more of the things we want in life and I personally, believe that having an open mind is the best way to go through this life. Then, let your gut feeling or your discernment be your guide to what you should believe.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
I recall back to a certain time when our small group came across a steep muddy. Several of us tried to climb the hill but had very little luck because it was just to slick. After about fifteen minutes or so, I noticed a friend of mine was letting some of the air out of his tires on his Ford Bronco. As several of us witnessed this, we began to laugh at him asking him why he was letting the air out of his tires? He said he was flattening his tires. He took our criticism well and just told us to watch him.
Minutes later, we were in shock and awe as he was the only one able to climb that steep muddy hill and, he did it with ease! I have to admit, I was in a bit of disbelief. There was no way he could have just done that... he made it look easy! Several of us tried the hill again but still could not get up it. In our way of thinking and what we knew to be true, simply letting some of the air out of your tires could not make that much difference.
Even though a handful of us witnessed this, we still could not believe it. Primarily (looking back on it) because it did not line up with what we believed to be true. We had never tried this, nor had we ever heard of it. To the majority of us, this just could not be true. Quite the opposite though… this was in fact a great way to get more traction, we had just never known it.
Today, as I look around our society, I see many people who hold the same old belief day in and day out. They are going by what they have always known and continue to do things the way they have always done them. Truth be known, often times, there is a better way out there but very few people are open minded enough to entertain a new idea. This was me back then. I thought I knew the best way. In my mind I had all the answers, so why consider knew ones? After all, my parents always did things the same way over and over again. So I was just going off of what my parents taught me.
Aside from principles, morals, values and ethics, a new way of thinking or doing things is not very far out of reach. In fact, often it is lurking just around the corner. Being willing to listen, consider or entertain a new way of thinking can very well be the seed towards living a more fulfilling life. It is those old ways of thinking that like to hold us captive and keep us from a higher level of understanding. If you and I can allow ourselves to listen more and resist less, we might just find that we don’t have all the answers.
Like the old saying goes: “Your mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is open” could very well be the gateway to getting more of the things we want in life and I personally, believe that having an open mind is the best way to go through this life. Then, let your gut feeling or your discernment be your guide to what you should believe.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
Friday, July 16, 2010
Kids and Gifts
The more I watch my daughters with what they say, how they act and how
they respond to others, the more I realize how much I am blessed. Just
watching kids be themselves and interact with other kids and adults can
say a lot about them. Currently, my oldest is seven and my youngest is
four. Both are obviously at different places of learning and interaction but
there is one thing that just touches my heart that they both do at this stage
of their young lives and that is, what and how they give gifts to those they
care about.
Children this age are so pure and innocent. They do not understand this
big old world could very well one day beat them up and spit them out.
Because of this, their actions and thoughts mostly follow the same way. I
am not counting sibling influence here or the influence of other kids but
they really do not know yet about materialism or what money can do. (Last
year, though, I did start teaching my oldest about money.)
As adults, we tend to give gifts to our spouses or family members that
usually cost money. Of course this is not a bad thing. This is the way of
our society. Kids, who do not yet understand about our society and how it
works, use their natural God-given abilities - their hearts and imagination.
My girls can create the most amazing homemade cards for my wife and
me. The time they spend on them, the colors, their imagination, the way
they think and see us as a family. All of these things they use to draw on
an "I love you card." Anyone who has or has had young kids understands
what I am talking about.
They just know how to make you smile with these
kinds of gifts. I have to admit, after receiving several of these, I did find
myself becoming a bit numb and almost irritated. But I think the main thing
we have to remember here is that this is the most pure, heartfelt gift a child
could give! There is no ulterior motive behind the gift and it is simply
because they want to. I believe little things like this are also a way in which
God reminds us not all gifts need to be big and expensive. Even the
smallest things sent from the heart, can have the most meaning in showing
someone how we feel about them. Grandmas and Grandpas also know
what I am talking about here when they receive these gifts.
Yes I know eventually, we as parents will have boxes full of things that our
kids have made for us. I am one of those parents. I also know those items
my daughters share with me or make and give to me show they love me
and they are happy. Kids don't always know how to voice how they feel,
that is something they have to learn along the way. But to make something
from scratch and give it as a gift could very well be the highest form of
showing love.
Have a great Friday everyone and an even better weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
they respond to others, the more I realize how much I am blessed. Just
watching kids be themselves and interact with other kids and adults can
say a lot about them. Currently, my oldest is seven and my youngest is
four. Both are obviously at different places of learning and interaction but
there is one thing that just touches my heart that they both do at this stage
of their young lives and that is, what and how they give gifts to those they
care about.
Children this age are so pure and innocent. They do not understand this
big old world could very well one day beat them up and spit them out.
Because of this, their actions and thoughts mostly follow the same way. I
am not counting sibling influence here or the influence of other kids but
they really do not know yet about materialism or what money can do. (Last
year, though, I did start teaching my oldest about money.)
As adults, we tend to give gifts to our spouses or family members that
usually cost money. Of course this is not a bad thing. This is the way of
our society. Kids, who do not yet understand about our society and how it
works, use their natural God-given abilities - their hearts and imagination.
My girls can create the most amazing homemade cards for my wife and
me. The time they spend on them, the colors, their imagination, the way
they think and see us as a family. All of these things they use to draw on
an "I love you card." Anyone who has or has had young kids understands
what I am talking about.
They just know how to make you smile with these
kinds of gifts. I have to admit, after receiving several of these, I did find
myself becoming a bit numb and almost irritated. But I think the main thing
we have to remember here is that this is the most pure, heartfelt gift a child
could give! There is no ulterior motive behind the gift and it is simply
because they want to. I believe little things like this are also a way in which
God reminds us not all gifts need to be big and expensive. Even the
smallest things sent from the heart, can have the most meaning in showing
someone how we feel about them. Grandmas and Grandpas also know
what I am talking about here when they receive these gifts.
Yes I know eventually, we as parents will have boxes full of things that our
kids have made for us. I am one of those parents. I also know those items
my daughters share with me or make and give to me show they love me
and they are happy. Kids don't always know how to voice how they feel,
that is something they have to learn along the way. But to make something
from scratch and give it as a gift could very well be the highest form of
showing love.
Have a great Friday everyone and an even better weekend.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Friday, June 25, 2010
Preparing our kids
Late last fall on a Saturday afternoon, I heard knocking at my door. I was the only one home at the time so I sat down the magazine I was reading, walked to the door and opened it. To my surprise, there was a young girl standing there whom I had never seen before. At first, I thought maybe it was one of my eldest daughter’s new friends from school. I soon realized this was not the case. Before I could ask her name or how I could help her, the little girl began to tell me she was on a mission to help her school and she had some books for me to look at to purchase.
I wasn't surprised by her request and what it was she was doing. What caught me off guard was how good this young girl was at talking. She was positive, cheerful, clear, precise and confident. She looked me in the eye the entire time, never showing fear or that she was even the least bit nervous. Not even once! I am telling you, not only did she put the Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman to shame, he could learn a few things from this young girl!
I was impressed and also in awe of her sales skills at such an early age. I was a stranger and she never even flinched! After about 30-45 seconds of standing on my front porch and listening to her trying to gain my confidence, I had to stop her. I then asked her name and how old she was. She told me her name and said she was 9 years old! I said, "Nine years old? Where did you learn how to talk like that and be such a good salesman?" Her only answer was this, "My Dad says I am the entrepreneur in the family and I am going to own my own business one day." Not only was I still in a bit of shock, I was smiling inside to see such a confident young girl trying to sell me something. She made it look all so easy.
She was amazing! Shortly after she left, I began to think: How did she get like that? How was it she carried herself with so much maturity and self esteem? It is also easy to believe she has some natural God given talents and when you combine that with parents who encourage and support her ...look out!
I have learned over the last several years that kids rarely ever lack capacity, what they lack are teachers. Kids can learn things far easier than most adults. At times they even hunger for knowledge, if we will just take the time to give it to them. I have no doubt someone has spent time with this young girl who visited me and taught her skills in dealing with people. Every week I try to teach my daughters something new and introduce them to something they were not aware of. Why? I want them to grow, I want them to learn, and I want them to stretch. Kids will be far more equipped and ready to deal with the various curve ball's life tends to throw out us if we will only prep, support and invest our time into them.
Are you preparing your kids? Are you spending the time with them that they need? Do you encourage them to excel? Kids love praise and in most cases, will put forth a lot of energy to get it, especially from a parent. Not every seed we plant within our kids will reap a harvest. Scriptures tell us that. But what you and I have to do is plant enough seeds where there will be a harvest down the road and the harvest bears fruit, giving our kids the necessary tools they need to be a success in life. Raising and parenting a child to be an entrepreneur is not for everyone, I understand that. Yet what are you doing today to give your kids the essential tools they need, to be who God created them to be?
Have a great Friday everyone and may you be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
I wasn't surprised by her request and what it was she was doing. What caught me off guard was how good this young girl was at talking. She was positive, cheerful, clear, precise and confident. She looked me in the eye the entire time, never showing fear or that she was even the least bit nervous. Not even once! I am telling you, not only did she put the Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman to shame, he could learn a few things from this young girl!
I was impressed and also in awe of her sales skills at such an early age. I was a stranger and she never even flinched! After about 30-45 seconds of standing on my front porch and listening to her trying to gain my confidence, I had to stop her. I then asked her name and how old she was. She told me her name and said she was 9 years old! I said, "Nine years old? Where did you learn how to talk like that and be such a good salesman?" Her only answer was this, "My Dad says I am the entrepreneur in the family and I am going to own my own business one day." Not only was I still in a bit of shock, I was smiling inside to see such a confident young girl trying to sell me something. She made it look all so easy.
She was amazing! Shortly after she left, I began to think: How did she get like that? How was it she carried herself with so much maturity and self esteem? It is also easy to believe she has some natural God given talents and when you combine that with parents who encourage and support her ...look out!
I have learned over the last several years that kids rarely ever lack capacity, what they lack are teachers. Kids can learn things far easier than most adults. At times they even hunger for knowledge, if we will just take the time to give it to them. I have no doubt someone has spent time with this young girl who visited me and taught her skills in dealing with people. Every week I try to teach my daughters something new and introduce them to something they were not aware of. Why? I want them to grow, I want them to learn, and I want them to stretch. Kids will be far more equipped and ready to deal with the various curve ball's life tends to throw out us if we will only prep, support and invest our time into them.
Are you preparing your kids? Are you spending the time with them that they need? Do you encourage them to excel? Kids love praise and in most cases, will put forth a lot of energy to get it, especially from a parent. Not every seed we plant within our kids will reap a harvest. Scriptures tell us that. But what you and I have to do is plant enough seeds where there will be a harvest down the road and the harvest bears fruit, giving our kids the necessary tools they need to be a success in life. Raising and parenting a child to be an entrepreneur is not for everyone, I understand that. Yet what are you doing today to give your kids the essential tools they need, to be who God created them to be?
Have a great Friday everyone and may you be blessed.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Lessons Learned
I always find it interesting and helpful to look back at my life and reflect at what went well and what didn’t go so well. I believe our past mistakes or setbacks can be one of the very best tools we can use in moving forward in our lives. After all, you have to admit, lives do have a way of “educating us” along the way.
I will be the first person to admit I have not always made the best choices, but I will say those choices have helped to mold and shape not only the person I am today, but the person I am becoming. For over ten years now, I have shared the following quote with probably several hundred people: “We are given a lesson over and over again until we finally learn that lesson.” Why? Because I think this is something of which we all need to be aware. It is true we will continue to be given lessons over and over again until we think differently or change our actions and learn from them. For me, some lessons I learned very quickly, others not so much. It seemed I had to continue beating my head against the wall until not only did it hurt, but a lot of damage was done.
As I counsel, coach and inspire people to live healthier, more effective and meaningful lives, I am consistently amazed at how many people struggle to acknowledge this principal. Time and time again, they continue to repeat those self-destructive thoughts and actions that always seem to yield results they do not want. Over and over again, year after year, I see it all unfold right in front of them, yet they cannot seem to see it. I must say, not only is it disheartening to me, it is expresses the great definition of being insane: Doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results.
If you and I are ever going to grow, leave poor choices of the past behind us and attract things in life that our hearts truly want, we must be able to not only learn from but grow from our past. What are the most important steps in doing this? First, we have to “want” to. Many years ago I had a mentor repeat the following words: “Scott… You just gotta wanna.” Secondly, reflect back and accept responsibility for the life you’ve lived. No one other person is in charge or is responsible for your life, it’s your responsibility. Last, tell yourself daily you are no longer going to make those bad choices you “used” to make and look for ways to make better choices today and tomorrow.
If you will make a commitment to do these things because “YOU” want to, I assure you, your life will start to look different and feel different almost immediately. Six months to a year from now, you will have transformed your life, all because you made a decision today to change just a few simple things.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
I will be the first person to admit I have not always made the best choices, but I will say those choices have helped to mold and shape not only the person I am today, but the person I am becoming. For over ten years now, I have shared the following quote with probably several hundred people: “We are given a lesson over and over again until we finally learn that lesson.” Why? Because I think this is something of which we all need to be aware. It is true we will continue to be given lessons over and over again until we think differently or change our actions and learn from them. For me, some lessons I learned very quickly, others not so much. It seemed I had to continue beating my head against the wall until not only did it hurt, but a lot of damage was done.
As I counsel, coach and inspire people to live healthier, more effective and meaningful lives, I am consistently amazed at how many people struggle to acknowledge this principal. Time and time again, they continue to repeat those self-destructive thoughts and actions that always seem to yield results they do not want. Over and over again, year after year, I see it all unfold right in front of them, yet they cannot seem to see it. I must say, not only is it disheartening to me, it is expresses the great definition of being insane: Doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results.
If you and I are ever going to grow, leave poor choices of the past behind us and attract things in life that our hearts truly want, we must be able to not only learn from but grow from our past. What are the most important steps in doing this? First, we have to “want” to. Many years ago I had a mentor repeat the following words: “Scott… You just gotta wanna.” Secondly, reflect back and accept responsibility for the life you’ve lived. No one other person is in charge or is responsible for your life, it’s your responsibility. Last, tell yourself daily you are no longer going to make those bad choices you “used” to make and look for ways to make better choices today and tomorrow.
If you will make a commitment to do these things because “YOU” want to, I assure you, your life will start to look different and feel different almost immediately. Six months to a year from now, you will have transformed your life, all because you made a decision today to change just a few simple things.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
Friday, June 11, 2010
What has Happened to Accountability
For some time now, I have felt the need to talk about a social topic that rarely ever gets mentioned. Something that our society just seems to ignore or be very passive about. Rarely do I even hear leaders mention much about this and truth be told, it concerns me. We have all heard of the analogy of the "Pink Elephant in the Corner." We all know it is there but no one wants to talk about it.
What I am getting at is: When was the last time you actually heard someone stand up, take responsibility and admit they were wrong or they made a mistake? You know, a personal (or public if needed) acknowledgment of making a bad choice. Why is it that so many people these days seem to "dodge that bullet" at whatever cost they can? What happened to taking responsibility and just admitting you made a mistake? Is that really so hard to do anymore? Is this traditional way of thinking on its way out the door? Worse yet, what message and example are we sending to our kids by acting like this?
From big corporations, Wall Street, government and all the way down to our local communities, trying to push blame onto someone else seems to run rampant these days. Why? I suspect that due to a lack of self responsibility and accountability, it just seems easier to "pass the buck" when in fact, I believe, just the opposite. Yes, personally, I do think trying to avoid responsibility for our actions does have far greater consequences and impact than just taking the bitter medicine of admitting and accepting.
I admit I have made poor choices in my life (I bet you are shocked to hear that, right?). I have not done things the best way I could. There are things I wish I could go back and change, but I can't. History is set in stone, not in the sand! But when I needed to, I acknowledged, admitted and asked for forgiveness. Yeah, there were probably more times I did this than I want to recall. Why? Because in my heart, I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew if I didn't "come clean" I would carry it around with me for the rest of my life. That burden, was simply not worth carrying. We are only human, we all make mistakes and we all make poor choices from time to time. Hopefully though, after realizing we made a poor choice, we learned enough from it that we won't repeat it. Seriously, why would anyone want to carry the lie and dishonesty around with them for the rest of their life? Is it really worth it? I say no!
I have never sat at the head of a multibillion dollar organization and no, I have never had to answer to shareholders staring me in the face. But trust me, I have been put in the pressure cooker a few times and it is NOT fun. The principals of accepting responsibility and being accountable are all equal, regardless of your "status". You are either accountable or you are not, there is no room for middle ground. I know in my own life, I have been given a lot of grace from many people, even when the outcome was very damaging. I think deep down, most of us have grace to give at all levels but they first want to hear the person or group of people admit they were wrong, then have them take responsibility. It also helps if the person has a "back up plan" to remedy the situation rather then call it quits. Then, when that level of accountability is reached, grace can be released.
In this era, I can see by owning up to our faults rather than pushing them off on someone else, is the right thing to do and it is the right way to raise our kids. It is also the right way to run a business, or organization and to lead people. I don't believe any one person expects you and I to be perfect, but they do expect us to be responsible.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
What I am getting at is: When was the last time you actually heard someone stand up, take responsibility and admit they were wrong or they made a mistake? You know, a personal (or public if needed) acknowledgment of making a bad choice. Why is it that so many people these days seem to "dodge that bullet" at whatever cost they can? What happened to taking responsibility and just admitting you made a mistake? Is that really so hard to do anymore? Is this traditional way of thinking on its way out the door? Worse yet, what message and example are we sending to our kids by acting like this?
From big corporations, Wall Street, government and all the way down to our local communities, trying to push blame onto someone else seems to run rampant these days. Why? I suspect that due to a lack of self responsibility and accountability, it just seems easier to "pass the buck" when in fact, I believe, just the opposite. Yes, personally, I do think trying to avoid responsibility for our actions does have far greater consequences and impact than just taking the bitter medicine of admitting and accepting.
I admit I have made poor choices in my life (I bet you are shocked to hear that, right?). I have not done things the best way I could. There are things I wish I could go back and change, but I can't. History is set in stone, not in the sand! But when I needed to, I acknowledged, admitted and asked for forgiveness. Yeah, there were probably more times I did this than I want to recall. Why? Because in my heart, I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew if I didn't "come clean" I would carry it around with me for the rest of my life. That burden, was simply not worth carrying. We are only human, we all make mistakes and we all make poor choices from time to time. Hopefully though, after realizing we made a poor choice, we learned enough from it that we won't repeat it. Seriously, why would anyone want to carry the lie and dishonesty around with them for the rest of their life? Is it really worth it? I say no!
I have never sat at the head of a multibillion dollar organization and no, I have never had to answer to shareholders staring me in the face. But trust me, I have been put in the pressure cooker a few times and it is NOT fun. The principals of accepting responsibility and being accountable are all equal, regardless of your "status". You are either accountable or you are not, there is no room for middle ground. I know in my own life, I have been given a lot of grace from many people, even when the outcome was very damaging. I think deep down, most of us have grace to give at all levels but they first want to hear the person or group of people admit they were wrong, then have them take responsibility. It also helps if the person has a "back up plan" to remedy the situation rather then call it quits. Then, when that level of accountability is reached, grace can be released.
In this era, I can see by owning up to our faults rather than pushing them off on someone else, is the right thing to do and it is the right way to raise our kids. It is also the right way to run a business, or organization and to lead people. I don't believe any one person expects you and I to be perfect, but they do expect us to be responsible.
Have a great Friday everyone.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
P.S. Is your organization considering an inspirational or self improvement speaker at their next event? If so, feel free to contact me for future speaking engagements.
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