This Thing Called Happiness

Far too many times I have heard someone say, “I will be happy when…” or, “He makes me happy…she makes me happy.” I think most people have a misunderstanding of what happiness and being happy is and where they can be found.

Personally, I have never found happiness “in” something, like a person or going to a place or even some new gadget I just bought. Even going on a long awaited vacation or trip has never brought me happiness. I know you might be shocked that I said that, I bet some of you will even disagree with me. If we are going to seek this thing called happiness, we first must know what it is and what it is not. Then, we will know better of what we are looking for and where to find it.

While it is fun to get new things, make a lot of money, buy toys and go on trips, this is actually not happiness. If it were happiness, then our lives would be spent on a roller coaster of emotions as those things can come and go in and out of our life. We would spend our days and nights chasing them, thinking they would bring us the happiness we long for. When we “get something new” (like a car) yes, we are happy, but that is not the same as true happiness. When we make a lot of money from our job or a sales commission, yes, it makes us happy, but it does not bring us happiness. Before our kids, my wife and I were fortunate enough to go to Hawaii twice. That was pretty cool! I felt very fortunate and very blessed to be able to do that. Did it make me joyful, excited, motivated and energetic? Absolutely! But no where in there was happiness to be found. Why? Because true happiness must be found on the inside, not the outside.

There is a younger man I know from the church I attend. I have spoken with him a handful of times over the last two years. He does not have much in the way of material things. I believe he only works part time, he is not married nor does he have a girlfriend. Yet every time I see him, he is so full of happiness, joy and is “high” on life. He smiles and hugs people often. At first, even I struggled with his profound positive outlook on life. So one day, being the shy, withdrawn person I am, I walked over to him and asked him. “I just have to know, are you ever not happy?” He looked at me a little strangely and without missing a beat he said: “Why would I ever not be?”

If we are able to really get a grasp of his answer, it can change our lives!

Simply put: happiness is a frame of mind. It’s an attitude that we choose to have or to believe in each and every day. It’s looking at the positive side of things rather than the negative. Yes, the negative things exist and yes crap happens but we can choose to focus on the more positive things instead.

Many things have changed for many people over the last couple of years. A lot of folks have gone through hard times. Yet happiness is not and should never be tied to the economy, your checkbook or your job. We get satisfaction, excitement, joy and more options in life from them, not happiness.

Decide to become happy with where you are right now. It doesn’t matter what you do or do not have. Take a moment today to go to a private place where there is a mirror, and look into it. Tell yourself that today you are going to be happy. Not your spouse, your boss nor even your kids can “make” you happy. The only person who can make you happy is looking back at you in that mirror.

Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.


Scott Stewart

Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.

scott@lovelossandgrowth.com