Losing someone we love

One of life’s many guarantees is that, at some point, some day, we will pass on and leave this earth . We are not immortal (although MANY teenagers think otherwise). It’s by design this should take place, as it is part of the bigger plan.

This week is the nineteenth anniversary of when I lost my Mom. It was a Monday night and I had stopped in to have dinner with my folks. As I was getting ready to leave and head home for the night (I remember it very clearly, just as if it were yesterday), I told her, “Mom, I love you.” I then hugged her and walked out the door. I had no idea this would be the last time I would get to see or talk to my Mom.

Death is never an easy thing to deal with. The loss we feel of losing someone we love hurts us to the core. To some, it paralyzes them, making any task or chore near impossible. I have even heard stories of people who not only became paralyzed from the loss they felt initially, but were never fully able to recover. That deep, hard-hitting sense of “why” and “disbelief” are very real and very powerful and can leave a sting that dwells within for years and even decades.

The twenty-two years I had with my Mom will always hold a special place in my life. I feel blessed that I was close with her, that we always communicated, hugged and loved often. The biggest thing I am grateful for is not necessarily that we were close, but that I have no regrets of the time I had with her. I am able to look at her picture on the wall, smile and know there is nothing I wish we would have done differently. We loved, laughed and lived life as much as a mother and son could have.

I do however, like many people, wish that she could have been able to see, hold and play with her granddaughters. In fact, there is not a day goes by that I do not wish this had happened. I am sure many of you reading this have had your own similar situation. The feeling that you were “cheated out of time” with them is fairly common. I know I have felt like this many times. Is this redundant because you already said “not a day goes by”?

Through the loss of my Mom, I learned that not only is life too short, it is very precious and fragile. We are not given a guarantee for tomorrow, we can only hope and believe it will come. We cannot control when it is our time or the time of someone we love. What we can control is making the most of the time we have with them in our lives. Take today and make being with them a priority. In fact, put them at the top of your list. Don’t wait for next month, next year or until the next convenient day. Today is a gift. Use today to tell and show them you care about them. That way, you will never have to say, “I wish we could have...”

In the last days of a person’s life, I have never heard anyone say, ”You know, I just wish I would have put in a few more hours at the office rather than with my family.”

To all of you who have lost someone close to you, this Friday’s Thought is dedicated to you. I am sorry for your loss and my heart is heavy along with you as you deal with the pain.


Scott Stewart

Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.

scott@lovelossandgrowth.com