Attracting Healthy Love Part 4

Unrealistic expectations and unhealthy ideals we hold within us, at the least, are a recipe for failure for any relationship before it even starts.

Last week, we uncovered a few important aspects that can keep you from finding and keeping that right person.  You may want to go back and re read the previous weeks before moving any further, making that information fresh in your mind.

I have often thrown out the question:  “If that perfect person walked through the door tomorrow, would you be ready?”  Interestingly enough, the answer is usually a 30 / 70 yes and no.  Even of the 30 who say yes, most have actions that would suggest otherwise.

If you want to find the right person, you have to be the right person.  The only way that can happen is if you will go to work on yourself first.  Dealing with the past hurts, reading books on relationships and mentoring with someone who has a long time successful marriage can be a great way to self educate.

Forget about taking any advice from soap opera couples, reality TV shows and the magazines found near the check out stands at your local grocery store.  Get serious about becoming the right person.  Too often, I see people looking and looking for someone but are unwilling to change themselves to do it.  This has never made any sense to me.

If you’re expecting someone to meet your expectations then isn’t it only fair you step up to the plate to meet theirs?  Successful relationships are not a 50 / 50 deal.  They are a 100 / 100 deal.  That is each person gives 100% to the relationship. (Or so they should) 

Would any employer keep an employee if they only gave half effort?  If you only obeyed half the traffic laws, would you be able to keep your driving privileges very long?  If we were only respectful and pleasant half the time, how long would our friends and family want to be around us? 

Another area that far too many people forget about is the honey moon period.  That is, when every relationship starts out, both people are on their best behavior.  Neither is seeing the real person for who they truly are.

Undermining this stage or not understanding its full affects, will likely end up with you making long term choices based on short term feelings.  A recipe for disaster!  Our society is filled with stories (both men and women) that went way to fast with someone they didn’t take the time to get to know, only to end up in a bitter separation down the road.  Maybe you know someone who has experienced this.

Next week, we will stay on this topic of moving too fast too soon.  There are many toxic behaviors and ideas that people have and do to sabotage there relationship before it can even have a fair chance and getting started.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.