Raising Kids With a Healthy Mind Set, Final

Core values, accepting responsibility, admitting when we are wrong… we have covered some important topics.  Now, what are you going to do with this information?

Our kids may never say it or express it, but they want us to be the best parents we can be.  They want us to lead them.  Set an example.  Better yet, be an example.  The phrase, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” holds a lot of merit.  Kids tend to follow the path of what they see.

They need us to encourage, support and be their biggest cheerleader.  In things like sports, scholastic and studies, kids look to their parents for acceptance and approval.  If we do not provide it, they will seek it somewhere else.  If I were to ask your kids, “Do Mom and Dad give you their support on the things you’re passionate about?”  What would they say?

Raising kids is a lot more about taking responsibility than it is about being perfect.  No one has ever expected us to be perfect parents but striving to become better, learn and grow along the way, absolutely! 

We all know kids do not come with a manual (although there are thousands of resources available).  Learning as we go, or on-the-job training is what most of us do.  There is nothing wrong with this.  The bigger question is, are we truly striving to be a better parent today than yesterday?  If your employer expected you to become more efficient and as you grow, shouldn’t we adopt the same principal to raising our kids?

In some cases we were raised with parents who were not as supportive or patient as they could have been.  I am one of those and looking back, it is obvious what a difference this made growing up.  There were many negative experiences.  If you were raised in a similar childhood you understand what I mean.

The good news is, you do not have to raise your kids like you were raised.  You can change.  You can make a decision right now and affirm the buck stops here.  I was raised like that but it does not mean I had to be the same as my parents.  It is all choice.

The second part to “the apple does not fall far from the tree” is we can choose to pick up our apple and move it.  Did you know you can do that?  Over the centuries, many have, and it all starts with choice.  It takes an internal heartfelt choice to do something different today than you did yesterday. 

Nearly 15 years ago, I made that choice and you can too.

Kids don’t need the newest flashy things, they need you.  Are you going to step up to the plate and give them your best or are you going to go through life and think it doesn’t matter? 

The choice is yours.  When they become adults, society will know which decision you made.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Part 3 Raising Kids With A Healthy Mind Set

Identifying core values, dealing with the past and taking responsibility.  As a parent, can you say you have done all of these?  This is part three in the series of raising kids with a healthy mindset.  

We can and should be ready when it comes to raising kids.  The three areas we have covered so far are key elements.  These aren’t new or creative, these are basic principals to build on.

Do the ideas shared seem difficult to grasp?  Does it seem like too much work?  If so, you are not alone.  From the beginning of time, personal change has been one of the toughest actions to develop.  It is, however, the most rewarding.  Becoming a better you improves every aspect of life.  With regard to raising kids, it makes a profound difference.

Is it easy?  No, it is not.  Is it worth it?  Yes, without a doubt!  Will your kids and grand kids benefit from you becoming a better you?  Absolutely yes!  Like every other aspect of life, it requires change.  The key to understand, it is not the challenge people struggle with.  We are challenged everyday.  It is the change that is difficult.

Quite often, for people to change, there must be a big enough reason, a reward of some sort, something to motivate us.

I clearly remember the day when my first daughter was born.  It was fall, cool in temperature and a day my wife and I had long been looking forward to.  Every parent knows what I mean.  It was the day my entire being, my reason for living, took on a new dimension.

As I held her fragile little body in my arms for the very first time, I understood that she was my responsibility and my obligation.  Not only to provide for her but to love her.  I had to set and live an example for her.  This innocent newborn child needed everything I was capable of giving to her.  Not just a few things, everything!

It was in those first few weeks of her life that I came to realize and accept I needed to be a great father.  In order to do so, I had to seek greatness.  Growing as a person had been enough, but now there was greater reason.

Holding my newborn daughter in those early days added fuel to my fire.  She deserved a great father!  Our kids deserve great parents but at the same time, we cannot give them what we do not have.

As they grow up, they will live their own lives as they should.  Parents should make conscious efforts to do everything they can to give their kids the tools to live healthy, productive, fulfilling lives.  If parents don’t, who will?

Next week we will wrap up this series on raising kids with a healthy mindset.

Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Raising Kids With A Healthy Mind Set Part 2

We can and we should be ready when it comes to raising kids. No, it is not easy. Question is, are you as ready as you could be? There is one thing we always have control over, no matter what the circumstance. You and I have the choice to deal with our past. No matter what, no matter when, it is our choice! Last week, I shared the why with you. This week I will cover the how with regard to raising kids with a healthy mindset. Our kids need us to be the best parent we can be. In a world where negative influences run rampant, we, as parents, must understand it is up to us to set the stage and give our kids the right foundation. It is not up to the schools, teachers or even family. We chose to bring them into this world, so it is us to take responsibility. Too often, parents go with the flow in terms of style. We have all seen this right? The problem is, when we go with the flow and simply float along with the current, we are susceptible to anything that catches our attention. Going with the flow or even what society says is normal, is risky. This style does not give our kids the tools they need to live a solid, healthy life. Have you ever recognized what your core values are as a parent? Chances are, they will be similar to what you value as a person. Take a few minutes and write down what those values are. What is truly important to you? When people, business and society shake you up, what is it that you stand for? Write these down before reading on. Now, read them out loud to yourself. How many do you have? Think about them, ponder them. Have you ever waivered on them? Just so you know, if you have, you have also started the process of diminishing your self image and self respect. The bigger question is, do you want your kids to follow the same suit? What you do and say is the example your kids will follow. Core values give us a foundation. We need to identify and understand what they are. If making out your list was difficult, this could be an indicator that you need to get in touch with them. Every business, organization and relationship has core values by which they operate. Deviating from them usually means harsh consequences. When it comes to raising kids, it is no different. Knowing our core values gives each of us a starting place. Without them, how do we know what we stand for? Teach your kids about them, they deserve to live a healthy life. Next week we move on to part three of this series. Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Raising Kids With a Healthy Mindset

We are not just raising kids; we are raising moms, dads, business people and tomorrows leaders. Are we giving them all the preparation they need? I have heard countless times we are never quite ready to have kids, let alone raise them. Never ready? There are a lot of things we can get ready for and I believe raising kids is one of them. What we need is the understanding and awareness of what being ready means. There are multiple aspects to raising kids, none which are very easy. As parents, we need to be aware of these aspects and understand how they work and affect us. Our kid’s mental and emotional health is at stake. Doesn’t it make sense that we need to equip them as best we can? It use to be considered enough to love and provide for our kids. That old school way of thinking did not account for our children's mental, emotional and self image. These are rarely spoken of but play a huge roll in raising successful kids. The saying, “We are never really ready to raise kids,” does not set well with me, I could not disagree more. Our society has helped to shape our thinking as the only way to be ready, is financially. Although important, it is far from the only item on the, “being ready” list. What about self love and emotional stability? Positive self talk and parental verbal reinforcement are important. Anger issues, if any, should be dealt with. Ignoring them will not make them go away. Of all these, there is one common denominator and that is, choice. We can ignore these, or work on them but that is a choice. Aside from inherited disorders, there are no predestined elements. We can make them workable and manageable in our own lives so our kids receive double benefits. This introduction is the first of a series on raising kids with a healthy mindset. Kids need their parents, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. The problem is, too many parents are leaving out the last two of the three. Where does a healthy self image come from? It mostly comes from the parents and their surroundings. Are we showing and teaching our kids everything we should be? It could be what we are not doing that causes the most harm and were probably not even aware of it. Next week, we will dive into what it means to be ready. There are multiple things we can do for our kids, so that they can be ready for life and that we program them in a healthy way. I have never met anyone who wanted to be a failure at raising kids. My hope is this series will increase your awareness to be an even more successful parent. Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

What is Reality

Have you heard someone say, “that’s not reality?” To that, ask, “what is reality?” Oddly enough, most people don’t understand what reality is. Is reality the world around us? Is reality our lives as we know it? It has been said that reality is what is factual and true too each of us. Factual and true, if this is the case, what we believe to be true is our reality. Our beliefs, healthy or unhealthy, largely determine our reality. Because of this we all have a slightly different view of reality because we all believe differently. Why is it that some believe making a million dollars a year in income is not reality while others do it? Their reality is different. This does not mean are beliefs can break universal laws. The only place we can find success before work, is in the dictionary. Just as gravity grounds us, universal laws work 100% of the time. It is our reality that works with these laws and makes the difference. What do we believe to be true for ourselves and our life? These beliefs we have total control over. Our self image, confidence, what we expect from ourselves and what value we set on ourselves control a large part of our reality. Association also plays a roll in our reality. Like attracts like so our friends say a lot about how we see ourselves. My mentor years ago had an income well above 100,000 a year. It had been this way for years. It didn’t matter what he did. His strengths worked in his favor, but more than anything, he believed this was what he was worth and how he was to provide for his family. It wasn’t a big deal to him he was actually quite humble about it. His reality was different from most people. Have you ever thought, “I could never make 150,000 a year?” If so, it is because of your belief. You don’t believe you’re worth that much. My mentor not only believed it, he expected it and got it! The beliefs we hold internally can only express themselves externally, which comes in the form of our actions. Your beliefs and reality have brought you to where you are now. If you choose different beliefs, you will create a different reality. Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Out of the Vault...a Classic

Americans love watching movies. Romance, action, thrillers, we want them to make us laugh, cry and keep us on the edge of our seat. Then, when everything is quiet, they scare the heck out of us! Movies take us out of our own reality and put us into a fictional character’s life. They help us remember faith, hope and love are real and always win. Who doesn’t love to be inspired by a good movie? Not too long ago, I watched a movie that had a profound impact on me. The first time I saw the film I missed it, but the second time I got it. Rocky Balboa comes back for a final Rocky movie. He is older, his wife has passed, his son is his own man and now he needs to fight one last time. The film never made it big like the previous Rocky films. It never even made it to the top of the charts. Through the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s, Rocky inspired us. You have to admit, after watching a Rocky movie you could tackle just about anything! His son has just learned his dad is going to fight and he is not happy about it. The two are talking at night, outside of Rocky’s restaurant. Over the years, his son has become a victim to life and wants to talk his dad out of fighting. As the mood builds, the next words that Rocky says are life changing: “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody will hit as hard as life… but it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward! How much you can take and keep moving forward! That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth but you have to be willing to take the hit and pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you want to be because of him or her or anybody is what cowards do and that ain’t you, you’re better than that!” This is life 101 folks! “It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” Rocky’s statement to his son was so hard hitting, it stopped me in my tracks! Every man and woman who has ever achieved great things in their life would all agree with this statement. What happens, happens to all of us. The question is, will you keep moving forward? You need to watch the movie if you haven’t already.. Life is about getting up after you have been beaten down. If you can accomplish this, you will be far ahead of the pack. Have a great Friday everyone, be blessed.

Everything Changes

I have a family member whom I have repeatedly heard say, “I like me the way I am, there is no reason to change, I am staying this way.” Not willing to change… Huh. I beg to differ on that, everything changes regardless. In general, people do not like change. Yet everywhere around us, change is happening. The town and cities we live in are constantly changing. Our bodies grow older every minute, young kids get taller and the cars we drive wear out. So, everything around us is in a constant state of change…so does this mean we are too? Here is a thought to ponder: does money change people or does it simply magnify what is already there? Does addiction change people, or does it only show what is already within? Does love change people or…well, you get the picture. People say that change is hard, yet things change all the time, all around us. Everyday, trees grow taller and grass grows longer. Seasons change, the weather changes, our clothes wear out, our hearing weakens, our weight is up or down, and worst yet, our hair falls out and or turns grey! (I can relate to both of those.) The more I think of these, the more I realize the list of change could go on forever. From everything I can see, people don’t resist change, they resist being changed. This makes more sense. When it is our choice to change, we can even like it. Losing weight, starting a new job or career, making a new relationship or implementing new habits are all change and we embrace them. Notice how people enjoy the season of fall. They embrace it! The leaves turn beautiful colors, vegetation becomes green again and the warm nights are replaced with crisp, cool air. That is change if I ever saw it. So what is it so many people resist when it comes to change? Most emotions and feelings are based on two factors, security and fear. Our nature is to hang on to what we have while feeling comfortable having it. If we like what we have, why change it? After all, changing could mean loss and that is fearful. To a degree, refusing to change is selfish. Nature and all else around us constantly change. In fact, change is beneficial in many ways. Think about the farmer who plants a crop. He is banking on the changing weather to aid him in producing a harvest. Our society is largely dependent on seasons for travel, while our reservoirs and dams use snow runoff for the benefit of irrigation and summer activities. It’s not that we don’t like change; we just don’t want others changing us. In fact, we need change. Our lives are dependent on it. Better off to accept it and embrace it, if you haven’t already. Have a blessed Friday everyone.