Thursday, June 23, 2011

Every Relationship is Built on Something


Probably my deepest passion of life lies within having and obtaining healthy relationships.  Simply because I believe that relationships can catapult us forward or sink us lower.  Help us grow, or hold us back.  They can lift us up or keep us down and they can bring a tremendous amount of joy and happiness or, bring us a ton of pain, sorrow and misery.  Yes, relationships are an essential key to life.  No matter where you go or what you do, you are going to deal with relationships all your life.  Family, friends, neighbors, marriages…even if you want to be alone and away form others, you are still going to have to deal with your self.  Yes, we even have relationships with our selves.

Relationships though are not always easy and often times can be very complex.  Maybe that is why they can be so rewarding is because they are so difficult.  Seems like most everything in life that is a struggle also comes with a reward.  But none the less, every relationship is unique in its own way.  It will have strengths and weaknesses, plus’s and minus’s.  There depth and strength will usually be tested in some way or another and what is even more peculiar to me is that every relationship we will ever have is founded or based on something mutually beneficial.

Think about it for a moment.  Every relationship you have ever had the ones you have right now and the ones you are seeking to have will have a common denominator, a common interest(s) that both people agree upon.  It does not matter what that interest is, it only matters that it is there. Then, that interest becomes the very foundation of which that relationship is built upon.  Sometimes, the foundation is about companionship, other’s are about common activities or hobbies.  Some are of money or task driven, do this for me and I will pay you this much money.  Yes, we even have a relationship with our employer.  Love them or hate them, it is true.  But 2 key elements here are that they are always mutually beneficial and that they have a foundation.  Without these two things, any relationship you have will be strained and or will cease to exist.

Think back to a friend you use to spend a lot of time with.  Someone that brought a lot of joy to you, someone that made you laugh and made you fell better about yourself when you were around them.  Do you know why you are not around them anymore?  Have you ever thought about what happened to that relationship you use to have with them?  What happened to it?  Chances are that one or both of those core things needed I just mentioned were removed or replaced with something else, somewhere along the way.  I have had some very memorable times with friends in the past and yet today, we do not even see each other and hardly ever talk.  Not because either one of us are mad at the other, simply because one of those 2 key elements were removed and the relationship died.

Think about the next relationship you make.  What will it be founded on?  What will be the mutually rewarding factor that becomes the glue that holds it all together?  Up until this point, were you even aware that there was glue to every relationship?  Do you understand that at any time, without notice, the other party involved can remove that glue that holds your relationship together?  Yes, that is right, a change can come at any moment, with or without your consent and then where will that leave you?  Be aware that this is real.  Things change, people change and whether or not you like it, your relationships will change.

If you want solid, strong, healthy relationships in your life then be aware that the foundation upon which you build them must be just that: solid, strong and healthy because attitudes, likes and dislikes will probably come and go.  Maybe not tomorrow or even next year, but trust me, things will change and if the relationships is not built upon a permanent foundation, chances are, it will falter.

Have a great weekend everyone and be blessed.



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