Overview of Dysfunctions

We are on week 6 of 7 regarding uncovering some unhealthy habits and actions with regard to relationships.  So far we have covered 5 different destructive behaviors, and this week I am going to give some examples and overviews of what those 5 look like, combined in a relationship.  If you have missed any of the previous 5 weeks, go back and review them together in order to better understand what this week’s message will be covering.

Anger, bitterness, guilt, belittling and manipulation are some very destructive behaviors to bring to any relationship.  Sadly enough, many relationships have some or all or these elements.  Make no mistake, this is a guaranteed recipe for disaster and a time bomb waiting to happen.  Any relationship that is built on any or all of these 5 characteristics simply cannot stand in peace or true harmony.

For the rest of this week’s message, I will refer to those 5 behaviors mentioned as dysfunctions, so I can keep the message to the point.  Like anything else, one thing we need to understand is that dysfunctions will grow when they are fed.  The more they are fed, the more they will grow and the more they grow, the more powerful they become.  You need to know this because it is not uncommon for most people to hope that the destructive behavior will get better.  That is the optimistic, light at the end of the tunnel, kind of thinking that most of us carry around with us, and what we want to believe.  The hard-hitting fact is that it will not get better until it is dealt with head-on. 

I have personally seen dysfunctional relationships that went on for years, only to end in the complete destruction of 2 people as human beings.  Then depression, extreme anger and substance abuse overtook them, all because time after time, the dysfunction continued to be fed.  In some cases the 2 feed off one another and neither one is willing to stop feeding the fire.  Like the law of attraction, the only thing that can grow in your life is what you continue to feed.  This is not rocket science nor is it a mystery.  It is just common sense.  Our words, our thoughts and our actions all feed something, there is no getting around it.  Are you feeding positive with positive or are you feeding negative with negative?  There really is no other way this works.  If you believe for a second that if you can simply put enough positive into a negative dysfunctional situation and it will change, you are sadly deceived.  It is just not how it works.  In order to rebuild anything, it must first be broken, preferably, torn down. 

In short, if you have a glass full of dirty water and you want it clean, you can’t simply add clean water to it to make it clean.  You must first poor out most or all of the dirty water before you can pour in the clean water.  To think otherwise is crazy.  Yet everyday, all around our cities and towns there are people who still think giving enough positive to a dysfunctional person will help.  Although the intentions are noble and to be noted, the outcome will rarely, if ever, change to a positive. 

The issue of dysfunction runs all around us.  It is a big deal and is a subject many people don’t want to talk about, at least not in public. 

Next week, I am going to wrap up this 7 part series on relationships and will offer some action steps on the subject.  Actions that you can do today, right now, to move into the direction of eliminating dysfunction from your life.  I will share some profound key steps that will move you closer to peace and harmony, not only in your own life, but in your relationships as well.

Until then, have a great weekend and be blessed.