Last week, I suggested that you say to yourself, out loud: I am important and I am valuable. Did you do this? If it felt odd or even difficult to say, it is because your subconscious did not believe it when you said it. Not only did it not believe it, but it simply did not line up with what you believe about yourself. Now that might be a little hard for some people to hear but I will assure you it is true. A low self esteem can be seen the easiest when we say something positive and supportive about ourselves, to ourselves and then watching inward to see how we feel after saying it. Is there an uncomfortable or a push back feeling when you say this?
I have seen many people walk down a hall or a sidewalk with their head hanging low, looking at the ground in front of them. They rarely ever notice the people around them. It is as if they are in some kind of withdrawn state of mind. All to themselves, looking at no one and noticing nothing around them. Years ago, I often wondered why it was that people did this. I even caught myself doing it a few times. I wondered what this behavior was and why people do it. I had a boss of mine at one time that hung his head down low everywhere he walked, looking at the ground. Something within me just stirred and I wanted to know where this came from and why do people do this?
Today, many people all around us suffer from low self esteem or a bad self image. It seems that there are no common denominators as to who is affected and who is not. White collar, blue collar, young and old, people from all walks carry around a poor self image. The one thing that we can tie all of this together with is that at some point, in our past, those of us affected by this condition had a less than supportive atmosphere we lived in or spent time around. Maybe it was an abusive situation or there was a lack of affection or love. Maybe it was that we never got the approval of someone who we looked up to and admired or were put down verbally by our parents, Aunts or Uncles, even siblings. Many ingredients are mixed into us to produce a self image.
Recently, I heard an old kids saying that I had not heard in literally, 20 plus years. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Upon hearing this, I thought back to my youth and how kids can sometimes unintentionally say the meanest things. While this is true that names cannot hurt us, what should have been added to this little phrase was: as long as I don’t believe in what is being said to me. Name calling has been going on for thousands and thousands of years. It is not the name calling that affects us, it is when we start believing what we hear, then, the words can do more than just hurt us, they can sink us! Unfortunately though, if our subconscious here’s something over and over again, it will start to believe it.
You and I need to be on guard with not just what people say to us, but what we continually hear, over and over again. This is where the damage can be done and it doesn’t happen over night. It happens slowly, over time, day in and day out. We have to guard our ears but we need to guard even more than that. We need to guard what we believe about our self. Do you believe you are an ugly person or do you believe you are a beautiful person? Do you believe you are a caring, thoughtful person or do you believe you are selfish? Chances are what you have been repeatedly told or what you have been telling yourself is what is true for you. Right or wrong way of thinking is not relevant here… it is what you believe that changes everything, especially when it comes to YOU.
Have a great Friday everyone and be blessed.
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