Funerals are never easy to attend. Some of us will even go out of our way to avoid them. I think the harsh reality of losing someone who was once a part of our life, can hurt enough that it is easier to avoid attending the event. We do this, certainly not out of disrespect, but from trying to avoid our own pain it will cause us.
I personally do not try to avoid them but I have to say, I recently did attend a funeral service that was very difficult attend. A friend of mine, only four years older then I, finally lost his battle with cancer. This friend was an inspiration to me and many others. Despite how he felt, he always seemed to find the positive in most every situation, regardless of how "ugly" it was. During those five short years I spent with him, not once did I ever hear him say anything derogatory about another person. We had many lunches together, hundreds of laughs and we even shared some tears together. The stories he told me will forever hold a spot in my memory bank, and when I think of them I will smile and maybe even chuckle.
Death is just one of those things that I don't think we are ever really "ready" for. When a friend, family member, spouse or even a co-worker passes on, we are left with a void inside. It can't be explained very well, but it hurts and we question "why" this had to happen.
When I was twenty two, in a tragic event, I lost my Mom. I remember hurting and hurting until I didn't think I could go on. I cried out to God and over and over again asked him why this happened.
Losing loved ones to death hurts us to the core and can be so tragic. While we are here in this life, the reality is, we may never know why things had to happen like they did. Maybe losing a loved one before we felt they should have gone, and in our heart believing it was not their time, nor was it fair. My friend left behind young daughters and a beautiful wife, not to mention tons of friends. I think it would only be normal to ask: How is this fair?
I don't have any "magical" answers to why things work out like they do, all I can do is come back to the fact that a very long time ago God gave us something called "free will". Although this was one of His greatest gifts to His children, it also came with ramifications for our actions. Even this can be hard to grasp in a time of mourning. Myself and nearly everyone else who has lost someone they loved has had to learn to go on with their life and search for the answers which will bring about some kind of closure.
For me, I am giving thanks for the times I had with my friend and Mother, I will always treasure them. I encourage you to do the same. Make every day count. Spend time laughing and doing things that bring you happiness. I heard it best said several years ago: Death can be viewed a lot like a huge raffle drawing. The chances of you actually having your number called are very, very slim but when it is called, you can't simply draw another number, your number is up.
Have a great Friday everyone and make sure to thank a service man or woman this weekend in honor of Armed Services Day.
Scott Stewart
Author, Speaker and Inspiring others to a life of greatness.
scott@lovelossandgrowth.com
541-343-3614
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